Roll Call 27

I'm sorry Newtus Those voices don't know what they're talking about! They are liars! You ARE beautiful inside and out Newtus!!!!!

Newtus are you still off your meds? When does your T get back? You might want to make sure you're stabilized before you see her but also for yourself so the voices and demons and stuff aren't quite as bad....

i was on my meds til 1 day ago. i see my therapist monday. ill take them tonight tho.

Ok I just wasn't sure I thought you said something about being off them for the MRI appointment or something...

I'm glad you get to see your T soon...

thanks. they just evaluated me friday. i get the mri june 18. but they did bloodwork on friday too

I'm hoping you will seriously commit to your med regimen. From what I've seen, even tho you aren't extremely happy on your meds, when you're off them you seem tortured. Your symptoms become overwhelming.

I wonder if the improvement might be more dramatic if you stay on the meds every day, and let your doctor then tweak the dosing. If you stick with it, there my be more relief down the road.

lol watching Orange is the New Black and holy **** them old ladies are bad ***.

I know right! I love them gals!

Check this out!

Wife divorces husband over the movie "Frozen"
http://kdfw.m0bl.net/r/1x3ycy

I'm stable now. Very stable. Even though I hear some voices and see stuff, I don't have much delusions, paranoia or anxiety and that's all I care about.

I'll see if I can switch from ritalin (A sleeping pill that helps you with attention) to Adderall, and get on with my life..

Yeah Newtus , i read role call from time to time and i have heard you say your either off meds or on reduced meds on many occasions. It seems like your going to have to take the meds as prescribed, with as much discipline as breathing , and then implement your weight loss strategy on top of this. Its no good saying ive gained x amount of pounds , i must give up or cut down on meds , or if you feel distressed , your either going to have to push through it or find a med you can tolerate at a therapeutic dose.

sooo i got some good news in the mail. Social security sent a letter saying they reviewed my disability and said i will continue to receive benefits. that took 5 months. Also my school sent a letter saying that i am awarded financial aid (Pell Grant) for Fall 2014/Spring 2015 semesters. YAY!!!!!!! it took 6 months for them to review my FAFSA but they finally did. i work 5-9:30 today. i texted my friend from yesterday to see if she wanted to hang out with me before work but she called and said she is in COlumbia, SC for an AA gathering and won't be back til later. So im kinda bummed about that but we planned to hang out on MOnday before work. I no longer feel paranoid that she doesnt like me anymore. she apologized for bailing on me and i accepted. she said she just wasnt in a good place yesterday. I can understand that. I have those days too.

well im excited about the letters. those were 2 things i have been worrying about for months. Also i saw a link on FB about Ts girlfriend's daughter who wants to go to Bard College in MA and they set up a fundraiser thing for donations. The goal is 1,000$ and they were are $895 so i donated $15 dollars to it. That felt good, to donate. I dont really talk to her daughter (shes 16 and going to college!) but Ts girlfriend has always been really nice to me and helped me through some things (She works at the program im in too, thats how we know each other).

So, a pretty good start to the day. i want to keep the positive momentum going!

I got my internet connected today. No more using library computers and having to be careful because of spies posing as members of the public. The voices keep on reminding me of my mission on the 16th. But it doesn't bother me. Nothing bothers me right now. I'm ecstatic!

Lovely sunny day here. So rare in England. Making the most of it with a blueberry vodka and lemonade
My depot makes me even more of a lightweight ha

i never really drank alcohol a lot, but i stopped completely cuz i would pass out before i even got drunk. i figured it was from my meds.

well i texted T and we set up a time to meet tomorrow (at 3). yay! i feel pretty anxious right now and lonely. maybe ill feel better when i get out and go to work. be more social. excited to see T since its been a while. i kinda forgot what he looks like.

My friend is worried about me. She said they could take me away if they think I'm unstable. But I'm fine. I make my own meals, I do all of my pet owner duties, I go shopping, I've given up SI and I wouldn't hurt a fly. So what reason could they take me away? I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and I'm not a danger to anyone. It's really getting to me because I don't understand where she's coming from on this one.

Just popping in to say hi to everyone.
My computer is down and I dont get on my phone so much.
Miss you all and will try to get on more often.

Anyone have to deal with tactile hallucinations?
Bean is only on Zyprexa for the summer to give her a break from so many meds. In the fall we will try Haldol and see how it works.

Anyhoo...she still has the regular stuff but the feeling of someone playing with her hair and back is bothering her. Any suggestions? oxox

punky

Hey Punky! Good to see you posting

How are u today cracking?

I'm okay. Just chillin. Watchin Season 1 of Orange Is the New Black with my youngest daughter

How are you doing?

sunshine, it's good to see you!

I'm good, just drinking coffee. Still trying to wake up. Need to get groceries today...ugh. you know how that is.

Thank u atypical! How are u?

I sure do! I'm going to have to force myself to go to the store later too. I wish I didn't have to get out.

I've been better. I'm in a mixed episode again and I'm totally frustrated. My psychosis is under control but my moods aren't. I hate it. I'm taking so many ****ing meds and my bipolar is still getting to ruin my life. I'm exhausted but I'm totally wired at the same time. My thoughts are racing so fast that I just can't type fast enough to keep up with the cacophony. It's immensely maddening. Honestly, if I had to pick between a mood episode or a psychotic episode I'd pick the psychosis. I know how to cope with the psychosis better. When I'm manic/mixed/depressed I feel so out of control. It's ugh, I don't even have words. All my words are running through my brain so fast I can't pick them out and actually write them out. ****.