Roll Call 27

I've been better. I'm in a mixed episode again and I'm totally frustrated. My psychosis is under control but my moods aren't. I hate it. I'm taking so many ****ing meds and my bipolar is still getting to ruin my life. I'm exhausted but I'm totally wired at the same time. My thoughts are racing so fast that I just can't type fast enough to keep up with the cacophony. It's immensely maddening. Honestly, if I had to pick between a mood episode or a psychotic episode I'd pick the psychosis. I know how to cope with the psychosis better. When I'm manic/mixed/depressed I feel so out of control. It's ugh, I don't even have words. All my words are running through my brain so fast I can't pick them out and actually write them out. ****.

Yeah mixed episodes SUCK!! My old therapist asked me what I would rather, mixed or the deep dark depressions. It's a toss up...

What helps me when I'm mixed is to write and write and write. Also guided meditations and listening to healing music. One of my favorites is Sara McLaughlin Angel. I will light candles, cry and listen to tat song over and over. Oh and drink decaffeinated teas. I really like Bengal spice.

It's hard bc the one minute I'm pissed, then the next I'm crying. I feel ur pain.

What mood stabilizer are u on?

Latuda seems to be stimulating. With that and the akathisia, I just couldn't handle it.

Yeah they totally suck. I'm sick of this ****. Thanks for sharing the suggestions.

And yeah it is hard! One second I'm fuming angry and my thoughts revolve around violent fantasies and then in the next second I'm crying my face off and wanting to just die. UGHHHHH.

I'm taking Trileptal as a mood stabilizer. It's keeping me out of full blown mania with psychosis but it's not helping my mixed states or depression at all. I don't know if it's time to switch or what, I'll bring it up with my pdoc next week.

Yeah Latuda has done wonders for me psychosis wise and it helped drag me out of that horrible depressive episode I was in back in April, but it does seem to have a stimulating effect. I haven't gotten akathisia from it though thank ****.

Just popping in to say hi to everyone.
My computer is down and I dont get on my phone so much.
Miss you all and will try to get on more often.

Anyone have to deal with tactile hallucinations?
Bean is only on Zyprexa for the summer to give her a break from so many meds. In the fall we will try Haldol and see how it works.

Anyhoo...she still has the regular stuff but the feeling of someone playing with her hair and back is bothering her. Any suggestions? oxox

punky

That's good. I tried to make it work, but when I got akathisia on the bus from it, I was done. I'm glad it's working for u.

I got some food poisoning over the weekend and felt sick so I have not felt like doing anything but today I feel better.the medicine is helping somewhat but when I was out friday night for a short time I still think people are following me and I think they are trying to find out where I usually go.

Thank you, and yeah that reminds me of how I reacted to Abilify and Saphris in particular. Those both gave me the worst akathisia I've ever had. Definitely **** that. I went off the meds entirely for awhile because the Saphris messed me up so badly. I didn't want to go through that again so I told my pdoc to **** off until my illness got bad enough that I couldn't manage it on my own.

Yeah I was getting it from what I thought at first was diet 7 up bc I thought maybe that had grapefruit juice in it. Then I got it from diet coke. I was on the bus making weird faces and pacing. I thought I was gonna lose my mind. That's when I said no more.

When I get akathisia I feel like I'm gonna fall through the floor. So then I have to move constantly. It's horrid! Horrible intense anxiety and agitation. Then I have to take mass amounts of congentin, visteral and inderal to get it to go away. I was on latuda for about 2 months and I just couldn't handle it anymore.

the thing is I am not so sure if it is a delusion because I really think these people are talking about me following me and watching me and keeping tabs on where I am and where I go.the voices actually did go away some I still hear them very faintly once in a while but more rarely now.I still have the visual hallucinations but not all the time.

Hello everyone! Sorry My laptop fried and stopped working I Am on a friends computer at the moment,I am planning on buying a new laptop later this week,so I will be able to be on here again...Sorry if I worried anyone! The kitten is still doing fine she is healthy and happy. How has everyone been doing? Sorry to hear you're having a hard time Lilly, Just keep taking the medications you are on and things will start to get better trust me

I know it's the worst. I wonder how many people in the hospital get it and the pdocs just raise their ap thinking it's part of the psychosis. No doc told me what was happening. I had to figure it out on my own. When I was in the hospital when I went into the psychosis, I was on 9 mgs of risperdal. I was taking it at night. Now I know why I couldn't sleep. And my pdoc at the time was a decent doc. I just don't understand why I wasn't told that I was having akathisia. He did give me benadryl for it but I was still pacing and anxious. But the worst I've had it has been on latuda and geodon.

Thanks its just scary when you realize your being followed.it makes me feel unsafe going outside now.