Roll Call 33

Your body is getting cleaned out. It sucks on this risperdal I crave carbs, especially potatoes. Last time I was on it I made potato soup and ate it all in 2 days. I'm gonna try just eating more steamed veggies....I crave them too.

steamed vegetables are great for you!

Moving into my new apartment tomorrow for ten days while family is away it'll be fun being an adult

Yeah, it's weird I really crave them when I'm on risperdal, lol.

Well I took another risperdal about 2 hrs ago. I cannot believe how much better I feel. It's so nice not feeling so paranoid. I'm gonna be up though. Is everybody going to bed soon?

Anybody on?

I'm not.

They are attacking me with mind control gas again

im on. im here

How are u doing newtus?

I'm really sorry.

im ok. no paranoia today and no voices. ive been takin my meds tho. i took my sleeping meds an hour ago but they havent worked. idk why.

what about you?

I'm doing ok. Feel much better now that I'm taking risperdal again. It sucks though, I feel hungrier. I'm just relaxing, when it gets a little darker I think I'm gonna go out on my balcony. Haven't barely left the house all summer bc of paranoia. But I'm feeling better, so that's good.

i am so mad. toby chewed my phone charger and now it wont work and my phone died so i have no access to a phone right now. ugh wtf. im supposed to meet T tomorrow but i dont know where at and i cant text him. i emailed my recovery coach and asked her to text him the situation and ask where he wants us to meet. i cant do anything about it right now. i will have to get another charger tomorrow. i just got home from work and discovered this. usually i hide the charger cuz i know toby chews on cords (he broke my electric blanket by doing this). i quickly wrote down Ts new number cuz i hadnt memorized it yet and then the phone died. so at least i have his number. i tried emailing him too but i dont know when he will read it.

F_CK

ok so i emailed T and told him what happened and he responded just now. so now i know where to meet him.

but im still mad.

Just because she is having dental surgery and has to be unavailable?

. Maybe your cigarettes are poisoning You.

That sucks. cats can be brats, lol. My cat tiger harrasses me starting at 5am every morning wanting food. So now I'm feeding him half at 5am and half at like 11am. Little brat, lol. But all and all I love him.

And then I feed him half of his dinner at 6pm and the other half at 9pm. I do the same schedule with midnight. But tiger, omg he puts his paws on me waking me up starting at 5am....and he won't stop til I feed him.

Midnight is such a gentleman, he would never do that, lol.

My understanding is that she's not returning phone calls, has been unavailable previously, has reduced sessions from one hour to one half hour, has stated that therapy is in fact case management, and has insisted that newtus's father be present during therapy despite newtus's objections. Maybe I misunderstood?

Do you really think I'm so silly as to suggest a change of therapists solely because she needed dental surgery?

Hey, anybody around?

I had this and still struggle with it every now and again, but its much reduced. I just view it as a sympthom , just like butterflies in my stomach. Are you taking meds?

I used to do that all the time except I hate risperdal so much that I would wait until I'm super paranoid that I would think cars are helicopters ready to bring ropes through my roof and take me away with the cameras and the etc etc so I would take like 6-12mg to knock me out and this happened like 2-3 times a week.

Abilify made everything better and it's way better for paranoia and negative symptoms

Sorry Costello! I didn't mean it to come off like that. I didn't think about all that other stuff; I was just thinking about that one thing. And no.. I have Never tho't of you as 'silly'. The first things that cone to my mind when I think of you is very wise, and extraordinarily compassionate.

That said, the not calling when she says she will and stuff like that - I also think that's a problem. But the issue of sessions being reduced to half an hour, I wonder if that isn't related to the contract? As in to encourage (without totally stopping seeing her).. Newtus to take her meds so she's mentally stable enough to benefit from therapy. The thing with her dad being there... I have mixed feelings. I can totally see that it would be difficult to be totally honest with my dad there. But at the same time, when an unstable patient is not cooperative with meds maybe its a reasonable effort to make sure dad is plugged in and educated about his daughter's state so he can be alert to her needing emergent care. Maybe if she gets seriously mes compliant and is really able to participate fully in and benefit from therapy the therapist will extend her sessions and not require dad to be there?

Those were just the thoughts running in the background for me. And the LAST thing I would have meant is that you are 'silly.'.

Well I guess I could try abilify, but for now risperdal seems to be working for me, besides the weight gain that is..