Roll Call 34

Willow thank you for answering my questions. I hope I wasn't too aggressive. Sometimes I don't know when to stop.

I apologize to everyone else for taking over the thread.

Disposition seems to influence how people respond to trauma as well.


That is exactly what I was referring to. I don't relate to it either. This example is one of the main reasons why I never believed I had BPD. I'll leave it at that because I can go on and on and on about my misdiagnosis and all the proof I have found to clear my name.

I see... It sucks that you are feeling unsafe. Have you thought about getting the ear protection head gear they use for shooting... hell I've seen used on autistic kids so you're not worried about the music ruining your hearing.

As for weekend plans... On Saturday I'm going over to a friends house. The guy I went on a date with a while back. We're going to hang out at his house or something.

I have no idea why but this brought out my inner 1st grader and I started singing Erti and random date guy sitting in a tree....

Lol. Which reminds me... I messaged him on facebook a couple of minutes ago and he said he can't talk because he's in the bathroom and it would be awkward. I laughed.

No not aggressive at all! I've enjoyed talking to you. You can PM me if you want to carry on. I'm just conscious of my slow responses when reading/typing, that's all.

I agree with your point about disposition.

Before I got my notes, I convinced myself that they'd labelled me BPD, because I didn't understand why they would dismiss me otherwise (not saying that's good in BPD either, but I've seen it often). I read the criteria over and over again, but just couldn't relate to most of it. And I don't relate to those kind of posts on PC either.

You can PM me about this too if you want to. I've been meaning to ask you if your status about proof was about your BPD misdiagnosis? It must feel very validating to have proof after all these years. Misdiagnosis, whether BPD or other diagnosis, or faking like I was told, is traumatic IMO because it makes you question your very being. I had all of this 'am I in denial about my faking?' stuff and I'm still not sure. T & I have decided that my diagnosis shall remain 'North is lost' (after a poem I wrote about my confusion) until I sort it out in my head & decide whether a psych diagnosis is worth obtaining/using.

*Willow*

That's a great idea! Thanks! Weekend plans sound fun

Lol

Lol he strikes me as very shy from what you said about him before. I hope you both have fun this weekend. I have no idea what my plans are yet, other than the usual weekend stuff of see my grandfather.

*Willow*

Yeah, he is shy. Lol my mom told me his mom seems more excited to me coming over than he is because I'm a girl and such.

Awww! He sounds lovely! I hope you both have fun!

Right, I have to try to go to sleep cos it's late & I have to be up fairly early. Night

*Willow*

Goodnight Willow!

i cried thru my whole session with T. but he was supportive. i felt suicidal after. i think i made him worry. i dont like to make him worried. but i took a prn and am feeling a little better now.

my pdoc wants to put me on fetzima. im meeting with him on tuesday. i need to ask questions about why he thinks thats a good idea.

im just feeling really alone lately and like i dont fit in anywhere. like i dont belong in society.

You belong here....

thanks....thanks for that.

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong in this world, so I know what you're feeling.

Ugghhh.... Everywhere I look, everywhere i go, all i see are the people there mind controlled and seemingly in a blur. I feel so helpless about this, like a stack of cars is on me. I really can't take this. Unfortunately this is the only safe place to say this, all other places i will not be anonymous and the mind controllers will make everyone target me more.

I am now on paxil again...hoping it helps to overcome the depression that is going along with the haldol... I am on I am supposed to cut the tablet in half and take 5mg for 8 days then afterwards take the whole thing all 10mg of it.Once a day. so I will be taking haldol twice a day as usual and the paxil once a day...I hate taking meds.

I don't think you've ever wanted it. But you've always had to get it. Most of the time, it's by you getting recalled to the hospital. Sometimes you've tried to fight it, and it has been unpleasant for you. But you've always gotten it.

So I understand not wanting it, but you don't have a choice.. except to get it easy or hard. I just think doing it easy would be better for you. It's stressful to do it the hard way.

It's not that absolute. Sometimes there is a single symptom, but oftentimes there is more than one symptom. There are characteristics of the symptoms that make them more - or less - likely to be temporal lobe seizures. The other thing is that having been diagnosed with psychosis/hallucinations, you can have BOTH. In fact, a brain that already has something going on (like psychosis/hallucinations) would be even more likely to be prone to the kinds of brain irritations that cause seizures.

So as for your having more than one modality, it's possible to have more than one symptom that is related to temporal lobe seizures, and it's just as possible to have a combination of temporal lobe seizures along with hallucinations related to a psychotic disorder.

Another thing about these kinds of seizures is that they can wax and wane. There can be a period of time when there are a lot (for example, during a stressful period at work when you're experiencing a lot of sleep deprivation). Then there can be periods of time when they seem to subside for a while. So in my experience, it is more common for them to wax and wane than for them to be regular and frequent.

Another thing to know is that the only temporal lobe seizures that will show up on an EEG come from the lateral surface. Deeper temporal lobe seizures (like olfactory that usually comes from around the uncus) would be VERY unlikely to show up on an EEG, even if having a seizure while the EEG is running. During most EEG's, we are looking for what we call interictal abnormalities or discharges. For a fair number of people, even if they aren't having a seizure, subtle abnormalities can show up during an EEG. To give it a fair chance, the EEG needs to last a good 45 minutes, and the person must be sleep deprived and then allowed to get drowsy and fall asleep. Drowsiness and early sleep can be ripe for abnormalities that don't show up when the patient is awake. Anyway, that said, not all seizure disorders have interictal discharges. A perfectly normal EEG does NOT rule out epilepsy. If the symptoms continue and nothing was caught on a routine EEG, standard practice is to then order a long term monitoring in an Epilepsy Monitoring Unit. It's a hospital stay that can last anywhere from a day or two up to a week. The goal is to capture an actual episode of symptoms. Another way to evaluate if symptoms continue is to go ahead and prescribe medications useful for temporal lobe epilepsy, and then see if the symptoms disappear. That can lead to a formal diagnosis of epilepsy, because the only other option would be to do a grid placement of electrodes on the surface of the brain.

Anyway, I hope you get a well done EEG, and I hope that neurologist you're seeing reconsiders his absolutes about epilepsy.

There is no 'typical' age for onset of temporal lobe seizures. There is an enormous variety of epilepsy syndromes; some of them have age ranges for onset, but most others don't. Some seizures are caused by abnormalities in the brain itself.. head injury... malformations of various types.. space occupying lesions... various types of bleeds.. and more. But for most seizure disorders, there is no known reason.

Well I'm going to bed, goodnight to all

I am on paxil as well. I'm at 20 mg on my paxil. It made me sleepy so I just take it at night. Meds do suck. I wish I could go without mine as well but if I don't I'll probably do something stupid and end up dead or in a hospital.

Is repeated deja vu a sign of temporal lobe epilepsy?

I agree. My daughter was dx bipolar at age 13. She had hypomania - now I realize from very, very early age. It wasn't until it had swings with the counterpart of irritability that it came under consideration for her psychiatrist. What tipped the scale was a full blown episode where she got extreme - she went on a shoplifting spree while out shopping with grandma - at a very boring store! And she suddenly - very impulsively and spur of the moment during the same week, got involved in some extremely inappropriate texting with boys she hardly knew. It was SO unlike her. She was as horrified as her family, and it was like when she got back to 'normal' she had no idea how all that happened. Anyway, it definitely involves mood swings though. She told her psychiatrist last week that she can 'feel' a manic episode coming on. She said she feels like a vibration in her head and her body feels jittery.

So - I can't imagine bipolar without mood swings. The typical behaviors during a manic episode would be not just buying a lot of things, but buying way more than you can afford and getting into financial trouble. Other typical behaviors are hypersexuality and other manifestations of extreme impulsivity. Also talking very, very fast (which my daughter experiences), and she also has a typical symptom of thoughts racing and being randomly. She cracks me up when she describes the randomness of how her thoughts jump from one thing to another - hardly related. Starts out thinking how she loves bananas, and then jumps to thinking about a yellow bird she saw, and the random associations of thought continue. For the first several years her counterpart of the bipolar was irritability. And it was intense. I barely survived it. However, now that she has reached early adulthood, she's been experiencing the scarier counterpart of depression. Her psychiatrist, from the beginning, impressed upon us the importance of staying faithful to meds and doing everything possible to limit what we call a 'bipolar crisis' where everything falls into a hole and she's totally out of whack. Since her initial diagnosis, she's had one serious breakdown, and we had to change her meds.

Anyway, bipolar has some specific criteria for diagnosis, and I think extreme mood swings are core to the diagnosis.

It Absolutely can be. It's a classic symptom, as is its opposite, jamais vu. Simple partial seizures commonly come from the temporal lobe, and do not involve loss of consciousness, unless it evolves into a generalized seizure. Seizures can start in a small area, but then spread as the irritated tissue irritates adjacent tissue.. and it continues spreading.

Thank you.

I think I had a seizure when I was 21. I was alone so I can never know for sure. It was an odd experience that I don't remember much of. I have a very vague memory of starting to walk in a circle for no reason. Then I remember feeling kind of fuzzy, sleepy, a bit nauseous and headachy. I discovered my bladder let go sometime during the incident and that I was soaked. I also remember thinking what the hell happened. That was the only time I ever have ever experienced that.

I did not tell anyone about it until I was assessed for ASD. I was afraid I was going to be ignored and told it was dissociation due to suppressed sexual abuse. The psychiatrist who did that assessment told me it was probably a seizure.

I had an EEG and passed it so I was never diagnosed with epilepsy.

I was talking about mental illness, schizophrenia specifically. You completely misunderstood my post.