Roll Call 41

I'm still in my weird funk, staying in bed until 2 pm etc. It's not good. Hopefully tomorrow I'll finally call the last prescriber about my prescription refills. I'll run out of Abilify near Christmas and I really don't want to hear that horrible voice again.

Didgee, I'm really sorry if all my posts about possibly having BPD triggered you in anyway, considering the trauma you endured from the misdiagnosis.

Don't worry. You didn't trigger me. I was already upset, because of the possibility that I may have an autoimmune disease like the rest of my siblings. I've been thinking a lot about how my psychiatric history has interfered with my past medical care and my reluctance (along with embarrassment) to seek help even when the problem is obvious.

To everyone else. I'm sorry for going on and on and on about this. I really needed to vent earlier. You are all lucky that you are not my psychiatrist. Poor lady.

I've been thinking I probably am not BPD despite what a couple of clinicians thought. I'm alone all the time and I'm not desperate about relationships. Yes, I'm impulsive but that's any of a number of things. So I find the discussion interesting and I'm very upset at the clinicians I've had to deal with.

I've realized that some of the symptoms that look like possible BPD (extremely fast and intense mood cycling, irritability, and chronic suicidal ideation) didn't begin until I started taking prozac.

Interesting.

Okay, it's my turn to rant about being misdiagnosed.

I was misdiagnosed with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type.

Now, what does any responsible doctor do before slapping a psychiatric label on them?

They should make sure there's nothing physical going on that could be causing the symptoms.

I went and got a bunch of blood work done this past August because I've been very physically ill... and wouldn't you know it? My thyroid is completely screwed up. Hence the wild mood swings. I don't have any form of bipolar or depression and I KNEW that but NOBODY LISTENED TO ME. I was written off as "not having insight" and the usual crap.

I am infuriated with my psychiatrist for slapping this label on me, and not just that, but for not listening to me for the past several months as I've calmly explained to her that this diagnosis is not correct. She just blew me off. Didn't listen.

Well now at my next appointment with her I'm bringing all of my medical test results so she can see for herself.

I am not amused. I knew this whole time that this whole bipolar thing with me was complete and total BS and my doctor refused to listen to me.

What I find hilariously ironic is that the only people who have my correct diagnosis of schizophrenia on their records is social security of all people.

And for the record, before I was originally and correctly diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was 15 every medical test you can think of was run on me to make sure there wasn't some kind of medical/physical problem causing my psychotic symptoms ie epilepsy and such.

I'm reflecting more and more on this, and I think if you aren't textbook mood disorder or textbook BPD, the label you'll get depends on the professional you see and how far they are willing to stretch the mood disorder dx versus how far they want to stretch the personality disorder dx.

I have ultra-rapid cycling sometimes. Some clinicians think this is impossible in bipolar, others think that most bipolar patients go through periods of fast cycling at some point in their illness.

I avoid conflict like the plague because I'm afraid it will cause an irreparable break in the relationship. Not quite the same thing as abandonment fear, but some clinicians might think it is close enough.

I've calmed down now, and I really don't think I have BPD. I think I was so worked up (partly because I was in a mixed state!) that I convinced myself that I had a defective personality (due to the depressive symptoms) and I had the energy to obsess constantly over it (due to the manic symptoms).

That is exactly what Zoloft and Paxil did to me. Prozac made me manic. The moodiness, irritability, suicidal ideation and impulsivity went away after I stopped taking the pills. I only ever ended up in hospital while being on those pills.

Yeah, we say bits and bobs here too

Fluoxetine/Prozac is EVIL! Triggered my first mixed episode inc impulsive thoughts of sui (I'm NOT impulsive by any stretch of the imagination normally) and self harm (which I'd never done before). I wouldn't consider any behaviours on that med necessarily indicative of your true self because it is known for causing akathisia (apparently it's rare) and mixed episodes.

I hope you get to the bottom of the ?BPD thing, but generally Ts should be focused on helping you, not labelling (which isn't their job!)

Wow! That's awful! Checking thyroid (and other common physical things) is mood symptoms 101!! :/ Have you gotten to the bottom of your neurological issues too yet?

*Willow*

Psychiatrists rarely order blood tests or even ask about physical symptoms. The only place that did was the medical-psychiatric unit I was in.

What kind of thyroid condition do you have? My family doctor keeps checking me for thyroid problems. She suspects I have hypothyroidism but my tests always come back normal.

I did the epilepsy test and neurology assessment too. Somehow I passed even though I had a seizure.

I know! It's ridiculous and no they still haven't figured out what my neurological problems are being caused by yet. Sighing.

I know, I've been in the mental health system for nine years exactly now. It's just ridiculous(and that's being nice), I am astounded.

I have hypothyroidism. It was blatantly obvious from my blood work. Ugh. So needless to say in that department I'm feeling much better since I started taking medication for that.

Apparently my sister almost died. She got an infection with the root canal she had in her front teeth.

omg! is she ok? thats scary

Yeah... the hospital up here took care of it. The hospital where she lives said it was just an infected pimple and sent her home. If she would of waited she could of been dead... at the very least brain damage.

im glad she is ok and got the proper treatment and care. i dont trust doctors.

Yeah... sometimes doctors are incompetent. I'm glad she didn't wait.

sorry to hear that erti...

My pdoc actually refused to treat me if I didn't get bloodwork done....

Sucks that your doc doesn't believe you about the sza but I'm glad that you're doing better as far as the thyroid stuff and I hope they figure out the neuro part soon....

That is so scary....glad she is OK sometimes people get lucky even with incompetent docs around even if that luck is getting a second opinion.

If you don't like her why do you care if you see her at all? I usually give mine a few sessions to see if I warm up to them or vice versa.....I think it's just awkward at first then it gets better.....

And I'm talking to myself....Echo....echo....

Lol I'm here.

Yay! Another human!

How are you other than your sister... I feel weirdly light and airy tonight, still stoked about my med reduction