Roll Call 41

Thanks willow yeah I thought I'd done it wrong but I must not have done

Hey guys, newb here :P

today when i went to the gas station there was a police behind me walking behind me and behind me out the door. i was really paranoid. and i was kinda mad because i just dont like police. i was getting pretty angry.

hey!!!!!!!!!!

i just met with T. it went well. he said he was really worried on tuesday. i feel bad for making him worried but he said he is glad i am feeling better now i am too. i feel really happy about the new apartment. everyone else is happy abt it too. ive wanted to move for so long.. it was good to see T. i am home now and i am eating hibachi chicken w. shrimp sauce i got from a take out place

motherFrs
I KNEW THE POLICE WERE FOLLOWING ME. PROOF.

Hi there! Welcome

In 1957 Dr. Robert Heath of Tulane University performed experiments on schizophrenic patients, which were funded by the U.S. Army. In the studies - he dosed them with high levels of LSD and then implanted "deep electrodes" in their brains to take EEG readings

and theyre STILL doing it. to me and nicola.

and to all of you guys. do you understand me?

why does eveyrone stop talking when i post?

Same thing always happens to me... :/

My new t thinks I'm not bipolar or sza. She thinks I have a personality problem, like some mild form of BPD. I'm so upset about it. I just feel so worthless because she thinks i have a personality disorder. I'd rather be s za to be honest. At least then no one would think I was a bad, defective person. Your brain can be sick and you can still be a good person. You are not your brain, it is just an organ in your body. If there is something wrong with your personality, then things are different. You are your personality.

I just want to be a good person. I don't want any of my suffering to have been my fault.

cant pee. scared spirits are watching.
i masturbated and i feel awful about it now

Welcome...

There is no shame on rollcall lol

...ugh well...i did...
i masturbated and felt like all my dead relatives were watching me and angels and god.
and then i felt awful...

i was just looking at my cigarette box because it said it contains carbon monoxide.
and then my dad walked in and saw it too. weird how that happens to me all the time.
and he pointed to it and said "carbon monoxide. thats what comes out of the exhaust of cars".
and i said "yea. i thought about doing that one time" and turned my head.
idk if he heard me but he just walked away.

oh newtus everyone does it theres nothing to be ashamed about. not everyone posts it on rollcall when they do however. i thought it was funny, bravo!

but i feel like all the spirits of people and angels and god are watching me. one time a demon instructed me to masturbate and it made me feel bad.

When I first discovered masturbation I use to think my dead relatives were watching me while I was doing it. Then I tried to go without masturbation for a while which didn't work lol. I found it enjoyable so I just continued doing it.

when i was little i felt like i was sinning when i masturbated and i would pray to god afterwards for him to forgive me

lol Erti.
i mean i dont want to stop.
i just struggle with the thoughts of mostly god watching me and possibly condemning me and the angels. and then...passed relatives :/

anyway...and evil demons...

i did that for a long time into my 20s. ive stopped praying afterwards but i still feel somewhat sinful. or i wonder what god thinks of me.

I would hope the Angels and god had better things to do...

This happens all the time actually...roll call is pretty open....