Roll Call 49

I know it's hard to have to suddenly change, and start all over with a new person, whoever they may be. I hope that the person that they give you is reasonable, and able to listen and work with you on things.

If it was possible to send newtus to this hospital it would be great because it's like an asylum with serious stricked rules like any other but here is more lively and caring (Apart from this one nurse. The other made up for it by telling another nurse that I refused my medication). Not only that but they followed a procedure of experience and knew I was in a violent suicidal state triggered by the abilify I think.

You get to see the psychiatrist, doctor, nurses and psychologist every day until you get stabilized. Right now they said I have a few more weeks here..

Idk if you have to be Canadian or how it goes so..

Btw I never said schizophrenia out loud before. It sounds so weird when I say it because I previously said a few days ago that I'll never consider myself as schizophrenic until I'm 100% sure. He mainly diagnosed me with my negative symptoms right now and positive symptoms from my past with tests etc also based on my positive and negative symptoms here being alone and away from people and phoning 911 on the hospital and shouting at them when they finally realize that I don't lie when I'm getting agitated.

Political point of view (The government has obvious schizophrenia) is that they
just want more people on the zombie drugs to stop us from knowing the truth

ive only been at this clinic for a few years.
i saw the first pdoc for a little over 1 year and i saw this one maybe 10 months.
each time my meds changed.
when i was in private psychiatry the average i saw a pdoc was 3 years each time. some longer (cuz i was probably an adolescent).

this is the crappiest day in a long time. ive had some some really tough days but this is just completely crappy. like it makes no sense. seems completely unneccesary. im just so tired of this BS. ive already had my therapist changed in the past 6 months.

i dont even want to get close to this current. and i did think about opening up. im just gonna say whatver. it seems to not even matter.

and i dont get listened to either.
this is definitely the worse place ive ever been.
ive been to hospitals where doctors stay longer than at this clinic.

its your choice what meds you want . if they want to change them its still up to you . they cant force u to take new meds

I struggle opening up too. My last pdoc had me sectioned so opening up to the new one is hard.

hopefully they wont put new meds on me. i just want my meds to stay the same. ive taken them all except a few. i really dont want to be on a depot again. i also dont want my meds upped.

honestly if anything ill ask them to change my AD. but not the AP for sure.

maybe not new meds but they will force me to take meds in general.

this is just really...its a blow.
i dont like new therapists/pdocs because i dont like changing them in the first place. i get to building a semi-relationship with them and then its over. this actually has only really happened at this clinic.

but i dont have private insurance anymore.
ill admit while some professionals werent good there either - i got way far better treated in a prvate practice than here. thats no doubt.

I don't think a nurse would be able to change your meds, would they? Maybe they see you as more stable and think you don't need to see a psychiatrist. I've been seeing the consultants only and the community nurse every three weeks (sometimes more) for the past two years and only now they're relaxing that to seeing them every 6 weeks and letting me see the nurse every three weeks, because I'm more stable.

i dont think thats what happening to me.
ever since ive been here ive only seen a pdoc every 3 months.
and they said my pdoc is not seeing adults anymore. only children. it wouldnt be that bad if this wasnt the second time in less than a year this has happened again. i mean as long as ive been here a psychiatrist was always essential. a nurse was only for giving depots. i can understand them changing it but its just happening too many times in too little a time. its too much too fast.

they said the NP can do anything the pdoc can do but i was told they couldnt when i first came to this clinic. i was under the impression that they couldnt.

Do you have any plan to control me to be on a certain med and then lure me to slowly figuring out that you're going to take my concerta away?

That's what I'm going to say to my psychiatrist

God the paranoia always comes with me

That's there's on as to why I didn't go to any group activities yet. I feel like the more episodes I get, the worse it gets because previous thoughts were about..

I've noticed that I lose my thought a lot in mid sentence like 80% of the time. I don't listen to myself when I talk they just tell me to slow down because ...

Lost my thought again

#Case no.736 to study. Answer questions 1-8 in studying this like the Trauman show. Make sure he suffers and actually does go insane

Soz Idk why im so talkative right now

My last prescriber was a NP. She wrote all my scripts.

Chicken enchiladas for dinner tonight!



I see a psych Nurse Practitioner, they can prescribe meds just like a doctor can, they're different than a regular RN.

I don't have a pdoc either here, just nurse practitioners who change every few months.

well thank you for letting me know i suppose. thank you too junkdna.
i really dont know much about NPs but idk i was told they couldnt do that. i guess they lied to me to get me into seeing someone i didnt want to when i first got there.

Haha that made me laugh. but yeah, he should have went insane.

i would be pretty upset if that happened.
every few months is just so much.

I think it's pretty common in the UK too, unheard of over here though. Nurses can't do s__t

hm. i guess i honestly dont know what a NP is. i might have to google it. i am under the impression im getting a regular nurse.

I don't like it but I live in a poor area and that's all there is here. I hope to look farther afield and hopefully find a doctor again.

I feel a mess...not sure why. I'm anxious for the kids to get to bed so I can take my meds and go to bed.

How are you keeping Angelique? Are you starting to reap the benefits of springtime yet? Has the weather gotten any milder?

i do too. :/

sorry talking too much.

how are you angelique and chickenfoot?

wow stressful day.
my chest is just like hurting. like im having a heart attack.

i honestly just want to take my haldol right now. lol.
or goto sleep. idk.

i feel like i cant breathe. like ive breahthed all the air thats available.

You're not talking too much, I enjoy reading your posts, hoping you get a good nurse, you might be able to see her more frequently.

I feel like pieces of my brain are melting away like a wet cake. The best reference to describe how I'm feeling.