Roll Call 52

I really needed that cause I was starting to want to bust up random passers by.

I made this earlier when we were waiting for all the appointments to show up.

Slacking off has it's therapeutic moments.

Wow. I don't want to go back....wish me luck!

And good luck to you Tweaky, remember, just say no to morphine!

Good luck! I know how bad work can get and I regret leaving. I would have like 20k right now but I was untreated for psychosis and suicidal, not medicated properly.

im kinda used to it but im kinda not. it sucks. its like im used to being alone everyday but on holidays it sucks.

My mom is coming home Monday, I can't wait

That's fantastic!

I spent the day with my dad. It was great fun. Though at one point my dad turned around and said to me. "That's a sign of OCD." Great. Now he's trying to stick a label on me. I've got a psychiatrist for that. I mean I already have the label psychosis. I don't need a second label.

im going to try to goto my doctor next week and get a checkup for diabetes because even though ive lost weight ive been having weird symptoms and my sisters been telling me things that have been freaking me out about diabetes. ever since i was told i was borderline diabetic a few years ago ive been freaking out every few months and every time i have to take these antipsychotics.

thats why i try so hard to lose weight. thats mainly why i try so hard to lose weight and eat right. im so afriad to get diabetes ever since what i was told by this doctor. and it runs so heavily in my family. like im deathly afraid. like honest to god. i just wanna cry.i almost cried on the phone making the appt. my voice was shaky.

idk...
like ive been getting tingling in my hands and arms. but ive had that before. and i keep thinking its like somewhat carpel tunnel-ish but idk. like you never know. especially since ive already been borderline diabetic ...i fear diabetic neuropathy. im just so scared...
plus some other symptoms.

i meant to say tingling in my hands and fingers. they get cold too. both hands. usually in my fingers.

Happy birthday Junk!

Diabetes runs in my family too, so I understand your concern. You're doing a good job by getting you're blood checked every so often. That will help to keep track of your susceptibleness. I always wonder if it's around the corner for me too.

I've had Juvenile (Type I) Diabetes since I was a teen. It's a whole different mechanism from Type II diabetes. Some anti-psychotics can definitely make you vulnerable, but I don't think Haldol is one of them.

The tingling you feel could be a lot of things, and I don't think you could have had it long enough for it to be diabetic neuropathy. One of the classic symptoms that is truly remarkable in Type I but will be there to a lesser degree with Type II is being excessively thirsty - and wanting water especially, and abnormally frequent urination.

Also - more than tingling, neuropathy feels like pins sticking in you, and burning. And if you feet (or feet and hands) are cold - it's probably because blood is not effectively getting to them. I think it's not uncommon in the thin. My oldest daughter is very thin, and she's always cold - not enough fat!

I think it's smart to go to the doctor - it's a very quick test to find out that day. In the meantime, it's not useful to 'freak out' about it until you actually have something to freak out about. So I'd just save my energy until you find out something.

Happy birthday Junk! Hope it's a good'n!

Quiet in here tonight.

thanks.
thats another thing too. ive been peeing more than ive been taking in fluid seems like. thats another symptom ive been worried about. but yea im gonna try not to worry about it.
im not that thin tho. im actually prob average weight now compared to where i was last month. which i was overweight.

OMG happy birthday junk lov bean

i wish my anxiety and panic attacks would just stop. they are like hell on earth. anyone that knows me closely knows my anxiety is SO bad. i can go from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds with my panic attacks.

i keep wondering how am i gonna go beyond an associates degree with this much anxiety and stress even right now? because online school doesnt require being around people but getting credits beyond two years does. i so badly want that. from a good name school too.

had a GREAT day with the fam saw my beautiful nephew and niece <3333333

omg im about 2 cry my ex and i's song is on and i REALLY miss him :'(

Here's something that may cheer some of you up!

now im crying :'(

Judging by your profile picture you are beautiful and your ex was lucky to have you. Sometimes it's hard. I'm still trying to get over mine and my exs brake up. Lol and it's been over a year.

same 4 me and he was a special guy and will always b in my heart

Me and my ex are still friends. Was it a bad brake up?