Roll Call 52

not wanting to go but suppose i should.
ill be 25 soon enough.
god im getting old.
i first came to these forums when i was 20 or 21....

I'd imagine the first one would be the worst and it would just be easier after that, like most things. If there's any history of cervical cancer in your family you should most definitely go. I don't know, I'd just be so embarrassed going, silly I know but... I don't know that's just me!

i went once and i had an abnormal pap smear result and i had to go back and they burned part of my cervix out and i was traumatized and cried and i was supposed to have a follow up but i never went back. that was in 2008. so yeah i understand not wanting to go.

hmmm that wasnt meant to scare u. but yeah..it was awful for me. sorry. im not trying to scare u

No not at all, you're not scaring anybody. You're just being real. People should be educated about the potential outcome so they can prepare themselves for that and that alone should convince more girls to go get it done so it doesn't have to go that far. My mum had the same experience as you Junk and she was 1 stage away from full on cancer. That papsmear saved my mums life and probably yours too Junk! Thanks for sharing!

They are mostly checking for cancer which is caused by a virus called hpv which is an std.....if you don't have sex you don't need to go.....

I can't take these crashes anymore. I really can't.

I'm going to ask for either an increase to 3 instead of 2 pills or I'm stopping it.

I had enough. This feeling is dangerous for me I can't keep trying to deal with such an unnatural depression.

Don't have the motivation to write anymore. It's painful like I'm being hurt physically.

And you know what?? I'm not erasing this this time. This is how I legitimately feel. I feel like complete ****.

These feelings are getting to me making my mind go out of control so now I'm convinced I have cancer. I'm telling my psychiatrist tomorrow because I'm not urinating properly. I'm only 18 so it better be the meds. I'm scared and want to numb myself.

COCAINE STOPPED MY PARANOIA AND CALMED ME DOWN. CAN YOU HEAR ME WORLD??? CAN YOU HEAR ME??? NOOOOOOOOO YOU EGOTISTICAL mf's

Positive paula can feck right off.

Been really battling these last few weeks and see my pdoc on thrurusday. Going to ask to be admitted. Things are very bad and just had my 12 sutures removed, I didn;t find anything but I bought lidocaine to go further with it again. There's a chip thats ruining my lifeand I have to get inon top of all this

I don't think there is a chip...I'm glad you're going to ask to be admitted.....hopefully it helps and they can get you stable again....

Since my last depot my psychosis has gone away. It's finally started working after the two loading doses. My motivation has come back too. I've started running to get fit and lose weight and I'm eating healthy again. My anxiety has gone and so has my depression. Things are going well hope your all well.
Sorry about how your feeling chicken I hope they admit you and that it helps. Please don't try to remove any chips you could seriously hurt yourself

If you are the type to do so, please keep my little one in your thoughts. Today is his cardiology check up.

everyone around me in real life is telling me i should go regardless of not having sex. i dont talk about sex openly with my family but ive talked to my dad about once BECAUSE my parents are divorced. i dont live with my mom. so my moms not around. he doesnt have much to say. but my mom said i should go although ive never talked to her about it before. and then obvs yesterday i talked to my doctor and he said i shoud go regardless.

i think im just gonna go just to be safe. cancer in general doesnt run in my family but i personally ddont take good care of myself so idk...

i had the scariest...most insightful dream...

i had a dream that my dad wanted me to do something different that ive never wanted to do. he wanted me to go fishing for frogs in a river. and i got bit by a snake on my middle finger and it just kept holding onto my finger and wouldnt let go and i was so afraid. i thought i was gonna die afterwards but then i had an uncle who was asian apparently in the dream who gave me this seemingly ancient chinese elixir that cured up a snake bite within minutes.

i need to go back but i would prob have to take a xanax beforehand or i would just freak out.

plus the dr that did the procedure was a man and was friends with the T that sexually abused me

gotta work today......ugggg. meh. bluh. poop.

I have a big test today, didnt hear about it, am very nervous.

Gonna fail all my classes at this rate and have to live with my parents the rest of my life

I wish i knew why I could sleep all day but can't seem to sleep at night.

I will keep you all in my prayers

I got things mostly straightened up with my college I'm going to be doing double the amount of work in half the amount of time, it will be really difficult but I will do my best

i hope it works out!

I know right? I joined this forum right after I turned 20. Heh.

Story of my ****ing life.

Good luck to you, you've been doing so well with things as is that I think you can do it.

Got here 1 & 1\2 early. Going to be a long day

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My mother in law bought me a Halo charger and it actually works really well.

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Sitting here waiting to be seen brings me back to the first time we came. It was shortly before my first hospitalization. It's a lot to handle.

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