Safe Place

Sorry justme, I didn't mean for it to come out like that I was just irritable this morning too

I'm glad they sent the directions afterwards. And well done for being assertive. Sometimes with just text things tend to sound harsher than they might necessarily be meant. What's the event; anything nice?

I'm sorry that your support worker left without saying anything I'd probably be hurt by that too, and think the same, but maybe something bad happened and she couldn't explain it to you? Obviously I don't know, but I know that I just upped and left a voluntary placement when I was at Uni because I was freaking out about going and then I deferred and came home. I still feel bad for letting everyone down, but I just couldn't do it anymore and that was no reflection on the people I was working with, either staff or patients, but because of how I felt.









You really need to get some support with this Tweaky. I hope that you will admit to your new pdoc/T the full extent of your drug use and get some help

Mind games are the worst

I would guess that if you want support about negative symptoms, then post here, but if you want advice or to ask questions, then it might be better to make a separate thread. Just a guess though, ultimately it's your call.

Has anything happened recently? Med change or drug use or stress or something that could be causing this? I hope you don't jump and, if you do, that you'll be ok

*Willow*

thanks. ill create a seperate thread.

My cpn told me that impulsiveness is often a problem people with psychosis have. Are you feeling impulsive? I hope you don't jump you could break your legs

sorry your struggling

Finally someone else with a dog spying. I believe PETA is monitoring me through my dogs chips. I can't figure out why I just know they are. I adore my dogs despite their monitoring chips.

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I was just having thoughts going over and over in my head, maybe it's a bit of a delusion, I feel a bit unbreakable at the moment. I'll be ok, I haven't been taking my meds and my thoughts are going a bit wild. I've put on a bit of weight since I've started these new meds and I'm not happy about it. My doctor said he'd put me on these because they're less likely to cause weight gain than olanzapine or chlorpromazine. He was wrong there.

I'm sorry that you can relate.

I am regularly harassed by the TV about animal cruelty, and I don't really know why. I know I'm lazy and don't walk him as much as I really should, but I don't abuse him so I don't know why they keep hassling me.

I'm going on holiday in 2 weeks and they need to check his microchip to leave the country, but I'm worried that Dog won't have a chip, or if he does, it won't match Max's chip number and there'll be a huge issue with passport control. I don't understand what the aim of Dog is, cos they already have a tracker in me and surveillance and messing with my thoughts etc, and so I don't really know what Dog achieves. Unless they're waiting for me to love him as much as I did Max and then kill him too?? Idk. It's hard, but I know that it's not Dog's fault. He didn't ask for any of this.

*Willow*

My head is all messed up. I haven't been taking my meds and I'm starting to get weird thoughts again. I can also feel a lot of anxiety building up coinciding with the thoughts. Nothing has happened, no changes in my activities or anything. Maybe this week I might actually have something to talk about in therapy. I stopped taking my meds about two weeks ago and it all just hit me yesterday, that feeling that I'm losing my mind again. I can't take those meds. I can't get any bigger and ruin the work I put into losing all the weight I did lose these past few months. Does that make me a fool? Is that irrational?

Relating to the Dog thing I once believed my dog had been swapped with an animal made to spy on me, like he was an android or something. This eventually went away but I'm starting to think about it again. That's how these things start for me, as little suspicions and then they grow into full blown delusions. Like "Hey Chicken, stop what you're doing with your life and all that.... pour every ounce of your being into this crazy sh_t instead". I can feel it starting. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Thursday, hopefully we can go back to the meds that where working. Not sure why we changed in the first place.

My last dog was killed too. That set off a pretty scary chain of events for me and eventually landed me in the hospital. I'm extra vigilant with the dogs now.

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I hope you're able to get back on the meds that work for you.

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I'm sorry your dog was killed. It's so hard to lose a pet, as they are so loyal. They're like children.

Chicken, I miss talking to you. Fighting delusions is hard business I'm sure. Definitely will be praying that your doc will listen to your concerns and you can get your meds fixed. All of your hard work won't be in vain.

I don't know how many antipsychotics you've tried but it is likely that some of them will not increase your appetite or just slightly increase it. I am on Seroquel now, no weight gain for me, but on Zyprexa I gained a lot quickly. For most people Seroquel is just a little better than Zyprexa, but apparently it's very individual which meds cause weight gain for whom. And I don't think it's irrational, but I'm worried that quitting the meds could make things worse for you.

New outpatient psychiatrist on Thursday..

When the **** does this circle end??!!

They will get more money by keeping me there longer and say that they'll increase.

If not I'll ask the psychiatrist, pharmacist or doctor in the hospital. So I can get my Concerta back.

I feel fragmented my mind is reeling. Like a roll of film over and over. There's no sense it's nonsense but it makes perfect sense. I'm not scared of hospital anymore the inevitable comes down the same path. It's all external but also internal like organs but I'm also an organ donor it's the right thing to do. Seeing cpn tomorrow what will happen I don't know her line or if I've crossed it. I need to know.

I hope you get a great doc this time. You deserve one that will listen to you.

Justme, that was beautifully poetic. I'm sorry you're feeling that way though. I hope all goes well tomorrow.

Good luck tomorrow

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I jumped from not even two stories and couldn't walk for a few days. It was painful af and I dragged myself home.

I'm scared to ho for this CT scan. I don't know what they say it's for but I think it's to check the chip placements. Maybe I shouldn't go maybe the chips aren't working anymore and they want to replace them. **** I'm scared.

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Can you call them ahead of time or check with the doc that recommended it to find out what it's for? I'm sure going in for a procedure like that is scary enough by itself. I'd want to be reassured also.

They say it's to check my kidneys. I don't know anything about that. This is ****ing scary.

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My prayers will be with you. The good thing is I don't believe they put you under for anesthesia. So you might be able to have them explain everything they're doing.

Thank you. I talked to the tech and it was actually to check on a growth on my adrenal gland. Nothing about my kidneys but now I wonder if the growth is actually the chip

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I wrote, then rewrote how I felt. I deleted it because what's the point. This is the reality I live in, accept it, or finish it.