Safe Place

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I'm in the hospital It sucks, especially because a lot of the other women have BPD with regular screaming outbursts, and the noise really bothers me. I'd be totally lost without my music and headphones. The staff are very nice to my face so far, though who knows what they're writing about me behind my back, like before. I met my solicitor yesterday and my tribunal will probably be towards the end of next week, if they don't let me out beforehand. They have agreed to let me have leave with my Mum though, which is great, and my Dad and sister have come up for the weekend because it's Mother's Day in the UK tomorrow, so it's good that I can go out with them.

to anyone who needs it.

*Willow*

im thinking of you willow, a lot. im struggling too.

They've gone back to "following me", from room to room, doing crap.

That's standard now, but they're doing other crap I won't mention.

every morning i fear ill have to goto the hospital. im hospital material right now but im scared

My stomach is sick and I'm shaking. I am sick to death. I'm surrounded by enemies. He turned the karaoke machine on loud. He's a real Prince. Great souls in these people. Not! They are devoid of souls. I would never do the sickening things they're doing.

That's really good that although you're invol they're allowing you accompanied leave. You wouldn't get that over here for sure. I wouldn't worry about the tribunal, if you're not Axis I in any way they won't be able to keep you, happened with loads of people I know. If you are, like me, then you could be there for a while longer, but think of it as a break. A loud, uncomfortable, miserable... break!

willow

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Now he's been forcing up cig smoke through the breaks in the wall I guess. They don't smoke.

I'm dying for a cig now which I suspect was at least 50% why he did it.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Thinking of you.

I'm sorry. I know how hard this is on you

Instead of ignoring them, I start answering the voices again. Damn.

Give up already Voices, we both know you can't win this game

My voices are loud suddenly. **** it I can ignore them. Just have to keep busy.

I hear them crying..

It hurts it hurts so much and I can't stop it

to all who need it right now.

Hang in there, things will get better.

why does my whole family tell me to pray all the time? nothing comes out of praying...for me anyway.

i think im dying both mentally and physically and spiritually

Sending good thoughts your way

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I'm freaking out about my dog. I want to so bad. She's my dog but the kids are going to be devestated if she doesn't come home. Ugh I'm a hot mess and I'm all over the place mentally.

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I'm praying it all goes really well and you find her safe and sound.

im sorry valley.

im hoping she goes home.
hug her and kiss her when you find her for me!