Roll Call 59

I used to be on Klonopin which I rarely used, I would use it maybe a few times a month when it was really necessary, now management changed at the clinic I go to and they won't prescribe benzos anymore. Funny how the people who really need it get screwed over and the ones like my neighbor who is simply an alcoholic and ate klonopin like candy to get high had no problem getting bottle after bottle

I used to take 20mg for sleep every night. I was on it a few years until my doctor told me I couldn't be on two benzo anymore. Which confused me, because she's the one who prescribed them and I never asked for anything.

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Thank you. I'm exhausted of my entire family. The first thing my 5 year old nephew said to me when I walked out of my room? "Auntie. You need to move out. Mommy needs her room."

It was my room to begin with..

----------- *TRIGGER* -----------

I had a flashback nightmare last night. I can still feel hands on me. I wish I could peel off my skin.

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Yeah I asked my pdoc for a benzo to help me with acute anxiety I've been having and he acted like I was a druggie looking for a fix. Went on about how he couldn't prescribe benzo's even though they had me on ativan for about a month when I first started seeing them. I got diazepam off my GP, if they knew that they wouldn't be too happy.

I don't understand. Doctors are so scared of the dea and saving their own asses now that they refuse to prescribe meds that ACTUALLY help. Pain medication is way harder to get. After almost 6 years, I finally got a referral to a pain specialist.

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Yes, they were a lot more lenient before the benzos started getting classified Controlled substances. Even for a long time after that doctors were used to writing scrips for them and they weren't hard to get. Now it's gotten/getting very different.

well i weighed myself a week before my period and stuff so this was before. this has been leading up to my before a month before. but your right in a way.

I was I could gain weight. I've been eating more and purposely eating entire packs of junk food and candy and I'm still losing weight. I had the gastric sleeve surgery in February 2014 and my surgeon said he made it "extra tight". Now I'm down to 120lbs. I told my mom yesterday and of course her response was "get off all those drugs". I'm terrified I'll end up having to get a feeding tube, regardless of me eating more than i used to. Sure I can eat big amounts at once, but I can eat every 30 minutes. I don't get why I'm still losing weight. it scares me. I used to weigh 265lbs. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I looked at myself fully in the mirror only once sense surgery. I instantly fell to my knees and almost into a panic attack because I was disgusted at how I look now and how deformed I look. I've never looked in the mirror sense. I'll look at parts of me but now myself fully.

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I can understand prescribing benzo's for like a month to help acute anxiety but blanket bans on them is a bit ridiculous, especially when it takes a long time for anti anxiety medication to work.

i have extreme anxiety. its pretty bad. it doesnt help that the meds im on increase my anxiety. which im getting off them. but my anxiety by itself is really bad. it affects my entire day everyday. even my sleep. even when i use the bathroom.

this is my birthday month. i thought id die before id turn this age but im alive.

Same here. :/ that's why I'm on apparently an extremely high dose of Xanax and probably why my secondary diagnosis is panic disorder.

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happy early birthday!

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thanks. i thought id die before id turn 18 by suicide and i almost did but im still here.

Yes, thank God! Happy early birthday... You'll let us know when it is I hope.

I'm glad you're still here. I'll be 24 in November. I've attempted more times than I can count. I'm surprised I'm still alive as well.

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Ah. Well weight is always fluctuating throughout the day so you have to weight yourself under similar circumstances every time. But even if you did gain 10 back that's not that bad.

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And we are happy that you are still alive.

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i suppose. i just got tested for diabetes and they said if i hadnt lost the weight i couldve become prediabetic so i need to keep my weight down. hopefully it goes down.

what is everyone doing today?
im not doing anything.
im bored and lonely today.
it sucks.
today is my stepdads birthday...
not close to him but gave him a gift anyway

We have a Keurig now, it's awesome

SometimesP - I want to hear more about that date! As far as kissing goes - it kinda depends on what type of kissing and how I feel about them.

Tell us more!

glad you like it! i love mine!

I gave into my stress and bought a pack of cigarettes. If you lived closer and I had my own transportation, I would say we could hang out sometime. It was nice of you to give your stepdad a gift.

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My mom went on a fishing trip with my step dad and took the coffee filter holder so...

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