Roll Call 60

As someone who is very sensitive to meds (e.g. 0.5mg of risperidone made me a total zombie) and ALWAYS gets withdrawal effects, even tapering, I would definitely taper. The only downside to tapering that I can see is that it takes longer. Where as the downside to stopping even 2mg abruptly is withdrawal effects, which could feel awful but, even worse, convince you or others that your psychotic symptoms are re-emerging and you need APs for longer/permanently, battering your confidence that med-free is even possible for you. I think that is especially important if they are unsure whether your psychosis is drug-related or not i.e. if psychotic symptoms re-emerge due to rapid withdrawal, you and your pdoc might falsely conclude you have sz for example and keep you on APs unnecessarily. (Does that make sense? I'm not sure how clear I'm being.)

I really think that a taper would give you the best chance of success at staying off APs, because a lot of people confuse withdrawal effects with psychosis returning.

Also giving up smoking at the same time might increase your stress levels, making med free harder - you might have to prioritise one over the other for the time being to ensure success. Attempting med free is generally best when there are no other stresses going on.

I wish you the best of luck with it though. As someone who has been AP free for almost 2 years, distress tolerance skills are key: everything passes, so the unpleasantness just has to be endured until then. You can do it!

All the best,

*Willow*

I know deep down that a taper is always the safest course of action but I somewhat just want to get off medication as soon as I can. I've wanted to go medication-free now since the start of the Summer but had to wait until my next p-doc appointment which was today. That almost makes me a bit impatient really.

I've researched risperidone withdrawal a bit this morning & from what I can find it varies a lot depending on the individual. Some people seem to stop abruptly from high doses without any adverse affects whilst others have trouble even gradually tapering. As far as I can tell I've not been overly sensitive to risperidone & have only been on it for 6 months both of which give me hope that I'll have little withdrawal effects. I also trust my psychiatrist as he seems very well informed so if he thinks it's likely to be ok then I trust his judgement.

As for the stopping smoking it's largely going nowhere at the moment... so I don't think that'll be causing too much extra anxiety.

Thanks for the well-thought out response, it's all very good advice...

I can understand your impatience to be med-free, but I've observed a lot of people on PC in general (not just S&P), and IRL, who rush it and then can't make med-free stick, and obviously I want it to work out for you as it's what you want. IMO tapering may take longer, but it's the best way to STAY med-free. As long as you keep in mind that withdrawal effects can mimic your original symptoms, and that going back on does not preclude a future taper, then I wish you the very best of luck

*Willow*

Good luck coming off your meds, Loial.

That's awesome! Good Luck!

good luck loial!

morning.

about to have my coffee.

my stomach is growling

Hope everyone is well.

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It's Friday
My new corsets arrived this week, the voices haven't been too crazy noisy last night
I think this might be a good end of the week.

Go for it loial! its like a prison breakout!

Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak This is my anthem for going med-free...

I'm going to the state fair this Sunday with my friend from group. I have never been, am a little nervous about being around a bunch of people but it should be a fun experience!

My anxiety and paranoia is so high and I'm home alone and I can't sit still so I'm cleaning the entire house. My boyfriend got a consideration for a 2nd interview? Is that good?

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Yeah that's probably good news

Good. I'm happy for him. It starts off at $15/hr. It has something to do with building medical laser stuff. He's really excited about it. He's currently unemployed.

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hey guys today started out REALLY rough. i basically convinced myself that T had died. i still went to work but felt like CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to cry so bad. i kept trying to figure out how i could go home. i was gonna tell them i threw up in the bathroom and that i was sick. T texted me back and then i knew he was alive. i felt SO relieved. omg. its like thinking someone is dead for real, like for real gone forever. i feel grief and sadness and fear!!! i told T i had a vision last night that he died in a car wreck. T said i am not psychic and i dont control reality with my thoughts. then he put a sad face. i REALLY need help with that. its like this intense paranoia/ocd/strange thought problem. i asked T if he will help me let go of it and he said yes. it causes me so much pain. it happens every day to varying degrees and about practically anything. i am ready to get over this and stop it!!!

so anyway with all that said the rest of my day was ok. it was busier in the store so i was occupied.

i look back on this morning and feel like WTF???? why did i think T was dead? it started last night and i slept and it just continued this morning.

does anyone else think that the way they think can control universal reality?? any tips?? any suggestions? i really want to work on this and get rid of it!!!!

whats everyone up to tonight?

i need to get off the ecigarettes for good. they are costing too much money and just no good for my body. plus im afraid my ecigs gonna catch fire cuz it gets too hot. plus im sick of carrying it around.

Just watching a Tyler Perry play

What is it doing to your health?

im sitting on my bed rubbing my ears. ive done that since i was little. its like a self soothing thing. but its kinda weird i admit. ive caught myself doing it at work when i feel nervous. im not doing anything tonight.

blue bird: how is the tapering off depakote going?

Hey junk I'm sorry you're not feeling good

The tapering off Depakote is going well, today is my 3rd day, I have about a week and a half until it gets lowered again. The first night I only slept for a few hours and thought I was going hypomanic but I eventually got some sleep

thanks.. ill be ok. ive been thru worse things i guess

i hope it goes well for you. im a little worried that it wont bc of last time... but i understand your desire.

That's a good way to think about it
There was a quote from my favorite musician Joanna Newsom, in one of her songs she said,
"But though I get so sad
I could swear the night makes a motion to claim me
Around that second verse, I reckon I've felt worse
And still held fast"

That's what I thought of when you said that