Roll Call 61

Blue_Bird · Aug 26, 2015 at 01:24 PM

Watching old Friday the 13th movies

junkDNA · Aug 26, 2015 at 01:49 PM

home from my moms. had a hard night there. some weird stuff happened. which caused me to feel suicidal. havent felt that way in a while. it was different though... i didnt feel like i wanted to kill myself right then. but i was making plans like setting a date to do it. and i felt really calm about it. i woke up this morning and was a little scared about that. T said we can talk about overwhelm and how to manage it.

today my plan is to complete my homework. i have a lot of hours at work again. i go back tomorrow 9 -4 manning self checkout. they are low on front end employees and are in the process of interviewing cashiers/baggers. so that is why i am getting a lot of hours. also the teens went back to school so they dont have a lot of ppl to work the day shift. i am supposed to not work over 20 hours in a week, but i have 26 this week. the paycheck is nice, but it takes a toll on me.

Loial · Aug 26, 2015 at 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Somehow I was under the impression that you were still having symptoms...is it mostly voices? If so are you just going to be OK with a certain amount of symptoms?

Yes I still hear voices but that is it pretty much... they don't bother me very much anymore since they are very quiet. I feel it's something I can live with.

A18793715 · Aug 26, 2015 at 02:22 PM

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junkDNA · Aug 26, 2015 at 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

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how are u doing?

falcon09 · Aug 26, 2015 at 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

Just had some macaroni cheese for dinner.

What's everyone up to today? I'm just re-watching the X-Files... forgotten how much I enjoyed it.

I love mac n cheese, I literally eat it almost every single day. Is it healthy? No, but better than when I used to barely eat at all.

A18793715 · 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

how are u doing?

I'm okay. Just thinking a lot. How are you doing?

[-- possible trigger --]

Possible trigger:

The other night, I went to a bar with my boyfriend. There was 3 guys by the pool tables and we sat by them since it was less crowded. After one drink, he went to get another one. Everything was fine. Then he went to get change for the pool tables so me and him could play pool. That's when the 3 guys automatically swarmed towards me and my boyfriend said it look like they were trying to walk around to get me to pay attention to one while the others were behind me. (That makes me paranoid just thinking about it.) When I drink, my cup never leaves my hand. But you couldn't set drinks on the pool tables, so I had to leave it on the table. I would take a drink in between turns but by like turn 3, I couldn't hit any balls. I was too shaky. That's basically the last thing I remember. My boyfriend said I was completely messed up that he literally had to carry me home basically. He said he turned to a bush to pick a flower for me and it wasn't even 3 seconds and he turned around and my finger was bleeding badly. He couldn't figure out what cut my finger. So I went and got a tetanus shot the next day. My arm still feels like someone punched me extremely hard. It makes my stomach turn to think what could have happened if I was alone. Last night, I basically lived it out in my dream. Now I'm terrified to leave my boyfriends side.

[-- end possible trigger --]

On a brighter note, I went to my MHMR meeting and my doctors appointment isn't until my birthday. Nov 6. The lady said in one year, I'll be living independently and they'll help with all furnishings. And to start classes at school. I have very high doubts but we'll see. The lady said they'll cover all of my medication costs. So maybe I can get back on the antidepressant that did the best for me but cost almost $100 with my dads federal insurance that's really good. So, we'll see.

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junkDNA · 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

I'm okay. Just thinking a lot. How are you doing?

[-- possible trigger --]

Possible trigger:

The other night, I went to a bar with my boyfriend. There was 3 guys by the pool tables and we sat by them since it was less crowded. After one drink, he went to get another one. Everything was fine. Then he went to get change for the pool tables so me and him could play pool. That's when the 3 guys automatically swarmed towards me and my boyfriend said it look like they were trying to walk around to get me to pay attention to one while the others were behind me. (That makes me paranoid just thinking about it.) When I drink, my cup never leaves my hand. But you couldn't set drinks on the pool tables, so I had to leave it on the table. I would take a drink in between turns but by like turn 3, I couldn't hit any balls. I was too shaky. That's basically the last thing I remember. My boyfriend said I was completely messed up that he literally had to carry me home basically. He said he turned to a bush to pick a flower for me and it wasn't even 3 seconds and he turned around and my finger was bleeding badly. He couldn't figure out what cut my finger. So I went and got a tetanus shot the next day. My arm still feels like someone punched me extremely hard. It makes my stomach turn to think what could have happened if I was alone. Last night, I basically lived it out in my dream. Now I'm terrified to leave my boyfriends side.

[-- end possible trigger --]

On a brighter note, I went to my MHMR meeting and my doctors appointment isn't until my birthday. Nov 6. The lady said in one year, I'll be living independently and they'll help with all furnishings. And to start classes at school. I have very high doubts but we'll see. The lady said they'll cover all of my medication costs. So maybe I can get back on the antidepressant that did the best for me but cost almost $100 with my dads federal insurance that's really good. So, we'll see.

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wow, that is really scary. i am glad your boyfriend was there. the MHMR sounds nice. those are good goals to have. i hope it all works out and you are able to find some relief.

i am doing ok today. i bought a decal of a fox wearing glasses and i put it in my bedroom. it looks cool.

A18793715 · Aug 26, 2015 at 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

wow, that is really scary. i am glad your boyfriend was there. the MHMR sounds nice. those are good goals to have. i hope it all works out and you are able to find some relief.

i am doing ok today. i bought a decal of a fox wearing glasses and i put it in my bedroom. it looks cool.

Thank you. And oooo. If I ever have my own place, it'll be Harry Potter themed.

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Sometimes psychotic · Aug 26, 2015 at 07:58 PM

How a Computer Predicts Schizophrenia and Psychosis - The Atlantic

Check this out, apparently computers can now determine with a high degree of accuracy whether you will develop psychosis just by analyzing the way you talk. Kind of creepy actually....

Blue_Bird · Aug 26, 2015 at 08:11 PM

I got that damn song stuck in my head the bass part lol I saw the oak ridge boys at the state fair

Alone_and_Afraid · Aug 27, 2015 at 02:00 AM

I want to stop taking my medicine because I feel better, but I have to remind myself that it's the medicine making me better...

Crescent Moon · Aug 27, 2015 at 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alone_and_Afraid

I want to stop taking my medicine because I feel better, but I have to remind myself that it's the medicine making me better...

People with Schizophrenia and Bipolar are famous for going off meds when they feel better (because of the meds), and then having little insight when they sink into psychosis or mania.

Right now my daughter is doing that and it is breaking my heart to watch it. She is convinced at the moment that she can control her bipolar with diet and exercise alone. She can't even see how manic she is. I'm so worried about where this will lead. So please, for the sake of yourself and all who love you, don't go off your meds because you feel good.

A18793715 · Aug 27, 2015 at 04:59 AM

**** everything. I'm so exhausted. I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I'm only 23. This is the rest of my life. Hallucinations, depressed and suicidal. What kind of life is that?

I'm so so tired of dealing with everything. I give up. Whatever happens, happens.

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Angelique67 · Aug 27, 2015 at 05:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A18793715

**** everything. I'm so exhausted. I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I'm only 23. This is the rest of my life. Hallucinations, depressed and suicidal. What kind of life is that?

I'm so so tired of dealing with everything. I give up. Whatever happens, happens.

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What do you mean? Are you going to do something you shouldn't?

A18793715 · Aug 27, 2015 at 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

What do you mean? Are you going to do something you shouldn't?

No. I'm just so ****ing tired of everything. It never ends. Anything that helps is illegal and says it causes my diagnosis to begin with. Big pharma and tobacco and alcohol would never let a plant be legal because they're not making direct profit off of them. They want us blind so they see what they're really going to see inside when they finally escape us and release into him. The one who contradicts us. They're coming.

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Loial · Aug 27, 2015 at 06:13 AM

If I'm not mistaken... Happy Birthday newtus!!

Angelique67 · Aug 27, 2015 at 06:18 AM

Yes! Happy birthday Newtus! Have a great year!

junkDNA · Aug 27, 2015 at 06:21 AM

happy bday newt!

junkDNA · Aug 27, 2015 at 06:21 AM

getting ready to head off to work

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Roll Call 61

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,833 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Aug 26, 2015 at 01:24 PM #41 Watching old Friday the 13th movies __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

A18793715 Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2014 Location: Texas Posts: 1,631 9 7 hugs given	Aug 26, 2015 at 02:22 PM #44 Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sometimes psychotic Legendary Wise Elder Member Since May 2013 Location: Chicago Posts: 26,411 (SuperPoster!) 11 22.8k hugs given	Aug 26, 2015 at 07:58 PM #50 How a Computer Predicts Schizophrenia and Psychosis - The Atlantic Check this out, apparently computers can now determine with a high degree of accuracy whether you will develop psychosis just by analyzing the way you talk. Kind of creepy actually.... __________________ Hugs!

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,833 (SuperPoster!) 11 14.4k hugs given	Aug 26, 2015 at 08:11 PM #51 I got that damn song stuck in my head the bass part lol I saw the oak ridge boys at the state fair __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Alone_and_Afraid Member Member Since Apr 2015 Location: TX Posts: 398 9 185 hugs given	Aug 27, 2015 at 02:00 AM #52 I want to stop taking my medicine because I feel better, but I have to remind myself that it's the medicine making me better... __________________ DX: Depression, OCD, ADHD RX: Prozac (60mg) and Strattera (25mg)

A18793715 Grand Poohbah Member Since Aug 2014 Location: Texas Posts: 1,631 9 7 hugs given	Aug 27, 2015 at 04:59 AM #54 **** everything. I'm so exhausted. I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I'm only 23. This is the rest of my life. Hallucinations, depressed and suicidal. What kind of life is that? I'm so so tired of dealing with everything. I give up. Whatever happens, happens. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Loial El Psy Congroo Member Since Aug 2014 Location: UK Posts: 5,501 9 4,690 hugs given	Aug 27, 2015 at 06:13 AM #57 If I'm not mistaken... Happy Birthday newtus!! __________________ The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again... "To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive." Robert Louis Stevenson

Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,124 (SuperPoster!) 9	Aug 27, 2015 at 06:18 AM #58 Yes! Happy birthday Newtus! Have a great year!

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,303 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,151 hugs given	Aug 27, 2015 at 06:21 AM #59 happy bday newt! __________________

junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,303 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,151 hugs given	Aug 27, 2015 at 06:21 AM #60 getting ready to head off to work __________________