Roll Call 62

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.....

Loneliness is something that can be changed....group may not be the best for you, how about a club of some sort, or think ahead to going to classes irl instead of online....

thanks guys. the future scares me a lot. it terrifies me. im trying to figure things out but my habit is to just give up and bail out

The future is scary. I'm scared too. But you'll be OK. You're doing really well, as far as I can see. You are incredibly capable.

my T kept talking about the "next level" today and it scared me a lot. i am scared of changing things..!!!!!!!!!!!! he talked about me moving and getting a new job. those things are scary........ if i could skip the part of actually getting hired for a new job and settling in then i would do it. i just remember how long it took me to feel comfortable at my job now.. it took a long time and it sucked ***. T said that was the first time so it will probably be easier if i did it again. but i just dont know. i dont think i should think about it anymore tonight its overwhelming me and giving me anxiety and im not doing anything except thinking about it

i really dont want to be alive right now. i went out to the woods by my house today. thinking about my old ways of wanting to . i feel like crying but it wont come out.

what clubs in the rural?
id have to change schools to goto class in real life cause its an hour drive to this current school im going to.

Good morning! It's a little chilly out, fall is finally on it's way

Morning all!

Today is the first Sunday without my parents in a long time... I've decided to try and replicate the 'Sunday Roast' as best I can though. Got some chicken thighs & drumsticks & will do some sautéed potatoes instead of roast potatoes. Should be a good alternative.

I'm having trouble at the moment in that I can't get the fear of relapse out of my head. Even though I know in all likelihood it is just drug-induced psychosis & I therefore can't relapse there is still a nagging part of me that says I have some underlying condition & will. I think the thing that is fuelling this is a certain over-acuteness of my awareness... I'm always looking out for & noticing things although there isn't as of yet any paranoia or delusions associated with it. It's almost as if I'm expecting to see something out of place. I'm not sure whether this is related to anxiety or merely the remnants of my paranoia.

I'm doing my best to just try getting on with life & not worry but it's hard. I think the fact I hear voices most the time now unless I am distracted doesn't help. It's almost like a constant reminder of my problems even if I can largely ignore the content of them. Hopefully given time my concerns will just dissipate but sooner would be better than later...

I don't know in your region specifically but book clubs and knitting clubs are pretty widespread....there is probably 4H for agricultural....maybe you can meet someone else with chickens? Who knows you need to look into the possibilities....church bulletin board might have some activities along with village hall or whatever you have.

it's a pretty day outside

That's great! It's pretty nice out here today too, a bit of a breeze but it's sunny & not too cool.

The sky has some faint shadings of gray and it looks like more rain. I don't mind. Hope everyone is OK.

ok ill look on bulletin boards and stuff. thank you. sorry i just wasnt in the best of spirits yesterday.

morning.

had my coffee cause its 66 degrees out here where i live right now.

i been crying already this morning since i woke up. i feel so depressed. i wish this would go away.

same here except its a little cool. breezy and sunny

Really nice day here too! You can feel the chill of autumn coming in but its nice!

anything below 70F and I'm complaining. I need to make enough to get out of Michigan and move to California or some southern state that isn't a hurricane magnet.

What's everyone doing? Just had some Tequila, watching random stuff on Netflix

I just ordered in food and ate. Now I'm just waiting for it to settle. Might nap.

I'm just reading a bit before bed.

Installing chromecast....

Just chilling out with a can or two of cider then bed. Had a long day at the Cannonball Car run here where I live. So many awesome supercars it was deadly!

Anything good on netflix?

I'm just watching stupid stuff. Beavis and butthead the movie lol

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Haha I love that movie!!! Haven't seen it in years though, my favourite part is when they're tripping in the desert with all the crazy animation and the Rob Zombie tune!

Anyone here use Windows 10? Any good?