Roll Call 62

Blue_Bird · Sep 14, 2015, 06:48 PM

I got a Halloween coloring book today, it's really detailed and looks fun!

daisymazed · Sep 14, 2015, 07:41 PM

Hi Hyper,
Just wanted to say hi and hang in there.
Hope-ing and praying your meds will get levelled out.
And you will start feeling weller real soon!

daisymazed · Sep 14, 2015, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hyperagitate

Good morning ^^

I'll try to get through a few days without Concerta. I haven't eaten much in 4 days and didn't notice. Now I'm skinny everyone says again because it's constant ups and downs with my sleeping. I was hypomanic now I hate everything I want to go back I hate this. I knew that I would abuse it eventually because of the crash I get from just two in the morning and I need one in the afternoon as well to stop that. It's not a big deal. "But it's still a stimulant". Uhhh it's an ADHD approved stimulant that they give to children as young as 6 years old. I can take over 600mg and be chill. I have completely unknown brain chemistry because people can't even take 150mg.

People need to be open minded. My inpatient psychiatrist was the best and did his job extremely well and they worked as a team giving me 90mg a day but I chose Vyvanse and my current psychiatrist says it's like crack cocaine which is good because I don't have the Adderall euphoria gene that apparently increases the chance of developing schizophrenia, ADHD and bipolar.

Now I have to prove everything. So much research on the things this shouldn't happen right now. What the hell...

I really want to take as prescribed but at the moment I'm completely numb. No more buzz. Can't even drink. No more cigarettes but why omg like I better not get ah you know what.. Maybe I'll give it back to my mom. I guess I'm not able to use it properly but then I would buy more coke.

No one understands my opinions and the truth because it's ridiculous. I'm about to just abandon the Concerta until I'm out of this state from experience..

I was annoyed because caffeine gives me no focus.

I have different brain chemistry but they won't listen and thinks that one extra will make me psychotic. Aaahhhh

Now I'm off to school and I'm late.. Like usual when sick but I'm not just anhedonic induced from taking too much and the damn English course from being hospitalized I feel like it's all my fault but I know it's not don't worry.

Meh... IR has kicked in. I feel fine now within a few minutes.

Mostly I do this to focus in the evening.

They are in power so I'll just drift through life once again

I don't like to communicate anymore like my dad. He came to visit though! But atm I need to focus ok bye

Bbl

I have been symptomatic since that feeling of content died.

Sgrughdhdhbdvvdd dhdgdvd d

Hi hyper,
I posted a reply in the wrong place. I was wanting to say I hope and pray everything turns out good for you.,and you will realize all your hopes,dreams and aspirations!

Door2015 · 05:52 AM

Good morning folks, I woke up at 5, having slept on the couch. I figured since I woke up it would be a good time catch up. I have a cold that might be the flu. Hard to tell.

Work has been ok. Yesterday I had to be there 2 hours early because it was the first day of the new menu, and we had to switch everything up and get acquainted with making the new items that are a bit unusual. I made our new desert, while all the chefs watched. It was a strawberry shortcake that is in a margarita glass. It turned out ok, but based on that trial it was decided to make it with canned whipped cream rather than bag, squeezy whipped cream. I also found out that egg slicers are good for slicing strawberries. I really like doing prep. The executive chef was there, which was nerve wracking, and after I made one of the new salads with seared tuna, he came and told me how he would like it to be. All the chefs were there watching him comment on my salad. I felt like a fish in a bowl. But I fixed it and he said it looked perfect. So that was an amazing compliment from him.

Aside from feeling like embodied nastiness, yesterday went well. I was really afraid it would suck. I had all the new stuff printed out the night before and studied them till I fell asleep. Now I have two days to get over this, whatever it is.

I hope today brings some happiness to everyone, in whatever form that may be.

Angelique67 · Sep 15, 2015, 06:00 AM

I hope you feel better soon, Door.

I didn't sleep too well at all but I hope everyone's day will be good.

Loial · Sep 15, 2015, 06:41 AM

Get better soon Door!

newtus · Sep 15, 2015, 08:06 AM

morning.

felt like there was a spider crawling on my arm at 3am so i slept the rest of the night on the couch in the living room.

ive been waking up more since ive been taking 10mg haldol instead of 15. been getting less sleep. actually i think was just the night at my moms. idk.

i bought a new keurig. gonna make some coffee.

my therapist never called me back about phoning in to do therapy.

Angelique67 · Sep 15, 2015, 08:34 AM

I dreamed I was smoking a cigarette and felt really depressed and sad about it.

newtus · Sep 15, 2015, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I dreamed I was smoking a cigarette and felt really depressed and sad about it.

ive had those dreams before. many times. i think its real. in the dream it feels so good to smoke the cigarette but then when i wake up im so mad at myself.

Angelique67 · Sep 15, 2015, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

ive had those dreams before. many times. i think its real. in the dream it feels so good to smoke the cigarette but then when i wake up im so mad at myself.

Yeah, I still felt depressed when I woke up. I had bad dreams last night. I woke up with my heart pounding earlier in the night and I don't remember that dream.

Loial · Sep 15, 2015, 09:12 AM

When I was trying to give up smoking, usually within a few days of switching to NRT I'd get dreams where I smoked. It always seemed so appealing in the dream, then I'd wake up buy a pack of cigarettes & the reality wouldn't be as good. I'm sure there's a moral in that story!

I've also had dreams with anxiety over running out of cigarettes. Thinking I had some left only to open the packet & find butts in it frantically searching for a whole cigarette.

Angelique67 · Sep 15, 2015, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loial

When I was trying to give up smoking, usually within a few days of switching to NRT I'd get dreams where I smoked. It always seemed so appealing in the dream, then I'd wake up buy a pack of cigarettes & the reality wouldn't be as good. I'm sure there's a moral in that story!

I've also had dreams with anxiety over running out of cigarettes. Thinking I had some left only to open the packet & find butts in it frantically searching for a whole cigarette.

When I first started vaping but hadn't yet smoked my last cigarette, I had a wonderful dream that I had quit smoking. It seemed so miraculous then! And j can always walk and everything in my dreams (except for the nightmares I don't remember, I guess). But I'm always younger in my dreams.

ofthevalley · Sep 15, 2015, 09:42 AM

Hey everyone! Haven't been around much things have been hectic. I hope everyone is doing well. Things seem to have stabilized with my med cocktail. I'm taking 300 Mgs of Effexor now and I think it's helping. Now if I could get rid of the haldol, zyprexa, ambien hangover things would be perfect. I spend my whole morning dozing off.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

newtus · Sep 15, 2015, 11:16 AM

my therapist called me back this morning. left a message saying she doesnt do over the phone therapy or anything like that. ill just drive there.

Blue_Bird · Sep 15, 2015, 12:35 PM

Hey valley it's good to see you!

faerie_moon_x · Sep 15, 2015, 12:39 PM

Hey guys, I wanted to say hi.

I'm posting on the Bipolar forum a bit. I got started on lithium and I'm feeling much better. I was doing really badly. I went to the ER a few weeks ago and they turned me away because I "wasn't established in the system." They sent me away with a paper and I called 8 different clinics trying to find a pdoc. Couldn't find one. So, on the advice of my friend I set up with a new primary doctor until we can find a pdoc for me.

So yeah. I hope you're all doing okay.

Blue_Bird · Sep 15, 2015, 02:01 PM

Exhausted, can't seem to wake up today. Had several cups of coffee but they haven't helped.

falcon09 · Sep 15, 2015, 03:07 PM

I need to stop smoking, ugh.

Heard voices again last night

Sep 15, 2015, 03:12 PM

I've had anxiety for the entire day. I even took an extra Klonopin. I told my psychiatrist. she said to take the Geodon right when I wake up with some food, and with my anti depressant. She said it will take an hour but has been known to work. Maybe I should go back on lithium, my anxiety/panic attacks weren't nearly as bad then. I took the Geodon with food hours ago and didn't make a dent. Wellbutrin ducked me up I can't believe it did this to me. It's a horror story.

Loial · Sep 15, 2015, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

I need to stop smoking, ugh.

I know the feeling. I've pretty much been trying on & off for most of this year with no luck. After my last failed attempt a few weeks ago I've just resigned to keep smoking for a while... it's mentally draining constantly trying & failing so I figured I'd wait until I was really ready. I'm not sure how long that'll be though, hopefully not too long...

I feel your pain with the voices too. They are my only real symptom now, hearing them whenever I'm not distracted. Thankfully they are quiet & don't really bother me even if they are always around.

newtus · Sep 15, 2015, 04:06 PM

i went to therapy. felt a bit of anxiety there and driving but im ok. im glad i went. i almost cancelled. my therapist said she was concerned for me.

she also told me im the most intelligent client she has because i challenge her too and other things and thats good she says.

Sep 15, 2015, 04:52 PM

Great. My insurance has collapsed and I now have to pay over $300 a month to be stabilized.

I can't get on the Obamacare plan because I'm an independent contractor, not an employee. Which ducks me. My friend just said to go on disability. I already live in poverty at my mothers home.

I wonder what partial disability is. The United States healthcare system is greedy. Now I'm penalized for not HAVING health insurance. Way to kick a person when they are down "affordable health care act". I don't know what to do. I don't have $350 dollars hanging around. I MIGHT KILL MYSELF IF I DON"T GET MY MEDS!

And if I do sign up for Obamacare when they reopen in November, I Still have to wait until January when it kicks in. What A TERRIBLE SYSTEM!

newtus · Sep 15, 2015, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0dysseus

Great. My insurance has collapsed and I now have to pay over $300 a month to be stabilized.

I can't get on the Obamacare plan because I'm an independent contractor, not an employee. Which ducks me. My friend just said to go on disability. I already live in poverty at my mothers home.

I wonder what partial disability is. The United States healthcare system is greedy. Now I'm penalized for not HAVING health insurance. Way to kick a person when they are down "affordable health care act". I don't know what to do. I don't have $350 dollars hanging around. I MIGHT KILL MYSELF IF I DON"T GET MY MEDS!

And if I do sign up for Obamacare when they reopen in November, I Still have to wait until January when it kicks in. What A TERRIBLE SYSTEM!

i didnt have obamacare when i was on a private insurance years ago and i had to wait til january for it to kick in so i dont think its obamacare specifically.

well correct me if im wrong but that was my experience.

maybe you should go on disability? idk

newtus · Sep 15, 2015, 05:58 PM

i got $1100 a month on disability before my medicare kicked in. it kicks in 18 or 24 months after you get SSDI. when it did kick in i still get over 1000 plus medicare.

if your on SSI medicaid kicks in the first day your approved or around there but you get half the money. SSI is considered welfare so theres a set amount of money you get.

SSDI is disability. its based on how long youve worked so its in varying amounts you might get.

i hope all this is correct. i know most of what i said is.

Sep 15, 2015, 06:04 PM

I'm starting the schizophrenia group next week
I'm nervous, not as excited as I thought I'd be. Funny how I start doing better just as a spot opened for me in the schizophrenia group therapy

Menu

Roll Call 62

My Support Forums