Roll Call 62

What you up to this afternoon, anything exciting?

Has anyone here ever heard of Loving Kindness meditation? Apparently it's really effective for people with negative symptoms associated with schizophrenia. I heard about it from my T but he didn't really explain it very well and I couldn't get past the ridiculous name and the spiritual prayer like undertones. Trying to find out more about it from a scientific perspective as opposed to the hippy ****** perspective online, to no avail.

this all comes down to motivation i think.

pros: i wont be alone all day
cons: i have to drive an hour to get there

im still lying in bed thinking. ive been thinking whether i should go over or not for 2 hours.

im trying to think of what bluebird said. just do it basically and then youll have the motivation to do other things.

I think you should go, it'd be much better than being home on your own i think.

I don't remember the details and haven't heard about the neg symptom link but I remember a guy who was a psychologist did it thinking it would be bs and it worked great for him and he went on to promote it....

One of the things with sz is people often overestimate the effort involved in things, for example you didn't want to drive to see your T either but were better off having seen her.

I can't find anything on the negative symptom side of things, except an unreferenced mention on a blog which i'm not taking as fact. My T mentioned it to me but I think he was just trying to encourage me to try it. I don't really see the need for it myself, I already wish these basic concepts on people and myself as it is. I don't need to repeat a mantra aloud every day wishing love and compassion on people. Maybe I'm not understanding it properly, but I see no point in it personally.

that day wasnt about not wanting to drive. its that i couldnt drive from anxiety. i had a series of panic attacks while driving recently and i didnt want to have another while driving. its not that i didnt want to drive. i was scared to drive. i had a serious panic attack while driving and i had to pull over. but that day made it with just slight anxiety.

right now i dont have the motivation to drive an hour and sit in traffic. plus idk how my mom is feeling. we could have another argument idk. but last week went fine with her. shes just unpredictable.

I'm beginning to think I'm manic. I don't think it's a bad thing, just an interesting observation. Feck it, bipolar isn't the worst thing to have right?

i would think schizophrenia is worse to have

It's got the best prognosis of the chronic psychotic disorders....

I don't have schizophrenia but i can imagine it's much worse than manic episodes, though the depression element can be very dangerous. I think that would be worse than scz.

That's interesting. I'm going to talk to my doctor about it. Do you know how it's evaluated?

I know all your psychosis has to take place during a mood episode otherwise it's more likely schizoaffective.

Schizoaffective is mentioned quite a bit in my file. But no clear indication that they've diagnosed me with it. Any paperwork that asks for diagnosis just has psychosis not otherwise specified.

Yeah usually if your psychosis keeps happening they give you a new dx.....BP, sza or sz.....but some people just don't readily meet the standard criteria so they stick with psychosis for a while.....

Back from northern Virginia. It was great to see my mom, sister, and niece again, but I am always so overstimulated by that crowded area. It's so dense with people, everywhere you go is a nightmare to get to, not to mention park at. I am not a city girl but they are so I get stuck visiting there if I want to see them for more than just the afternoon.

I'm very glad to be home. I really needed to sleep in my own bed and I really missed my husband and cats (and Psych Central). I slept from 9:30 p.m. Friday til 2:45 p.m. Saturday and I'm still exhausted.

I'm so lonely. And my eyes are suddenly not focusing right. I'm so unhappy. I miss my old life.

im at my moms.

she doesnt want to spend time with me. i shouldve stayed at home.

It didn't take long for you to get there! That was pretty fast.

it took an hour.

my moms being mean to me. i think shes been drinking

Sorry to hear that. It's still pretty early, you could go somewhere to get some food and decide whether you want to go home or stay there the night.

i went to group and i didnt feel like talking and well... i got pushed to talk. so i said i dont feel like talking today and T said that was ok. at one point the lady on the couch beside me poked me and i did not like that at all. i felt pressured and trapped and everyone was staring at me...after that passed i could feel T staring at me so i looked at him and he touched his ear with a questiony look on his face (i think he was asking if i was hearing voices) so i shook my head no. after group T recognized that i didnt like the focus suddenly shifting to me in group. i felt invaded and when she poked me i just wanted to run away... if i could have dissolved into nothing at that point it would have been fine

http://www.amazon.com/Lovingkindness...oving+kindness

I read this book a couple years ago, before I had this book. I found it kinda blah. I found Marcus Aurelius' Meditations helpful. I'm more respondent towards the Western part of the world though:

Amazon.com: Meditations: with selected correspondence (Oxford World's Classics) (9780199573202): Marcus Aurelius, Robin Hard, Christopher Gill: Books

thanks ody, i'll check those out. might be able to get ebook versions online.

I have both. They both pretty much suck. There are many forms of schizophrenia though. I'm "lucky" i'm the paranoid type.