Roll Call 65

I'm so tired. Went to bed at 3am but I got 6 hours of sleep.

I'm almost ready to slowly stop the Prozac in January. I have to do it slow because of extreme heart palpitations. Surely OCD wont be as bad and that it was just withdrawal last time and not severe panic disorder and I just get a small bit of anxiety for a buzz while skiing =]

i found someone in my area who does psych evaluations And takes my insurance! my t said that wasn't likely to be a thing and i would probably pay out of pocket! i think i tried to get an appointment with her once and she said she was too booked up, but maybe if i have my t as an advocate i'll be able to sneak in. :0c

New video up on my video blog:

Slept most of the afternoon. Feeling a bit better.
My son got his braces today. Poor bugger is hurting.

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I hope the therapy helps

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my mom backed out when she heard my dad was coming. so its not going to happen. my parents are separated so yea...

That's not fair. I'm so sorry

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she beraided me with a bunch of questions like "why cant you fix your loneliness yourself?". so i was just like "whatever dont come." after she heard my dad was coming

Because loneliness can be fixed when your alone *shakes head.* I hope she comes around.

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I want to take Cogentin but I don't like what it does to my eyesight..

both my parents have now backed out of family therapy...

Wow, I was just wondering why I have double vision all of a sudden. I started taking Cogentin last week! This sucks.

Well that sucks. Seriously sucks

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i did what my therapist told me and took 5mg of haldol at night and 5 in the morning. i slept til 11am...

its like nobody gets it and then people think i should work. taking haldol is like taking ambien that someone has put something else in it like a roofie. im ****ing too tired to do anything. does no one get it?!

omg i thought i ran out of nicotine eliquid for my vape and then i found some. it tastes like cinnamon. its called kool flame.

this young girl that used to work at the store i work at is going to be a big role in a clint eastwood movie. wow, lol... strange!!!

whatever was in my eye came out thank ****

i did some bookkeeping things today, slowly training and learning new things. i find it kinda fun, sooo much different than when i had major anxiety attacks about accepting the promotion. thanks guyys for supporting me during that. luvs ya

I take 4 in the morning and 4 at night. I am a wreck by 1130 in the morning. Most days I have to nap to sleep it off. Don't know many employers that allow naps.

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I feel rotten today mentally. I'm so tired. I don't want to feel like this. It was almost all quiet today. I'm very depressed.

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I'm not having a great night. I think someone is bugging my bathroom again. I thought this was over

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I wish I could self medicate since my doctor supplied meds are obviously not working.

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my whole family is convinced im not well. i got sad/angry at my mom for not spending more time with me today. then my sister asked me if i was feeling well because she says im so focused on what the bible says about women cutting their hair because i want my hair short again. and then because i dropped out of the rest of my classes my dad thinks im not well.

well no im not well. im depressed. maybe its because i havent been taking my full ap's but i doubt it.

Why is no one posting? This is all I have going on tonight lol

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Do you take antidepressants?

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no. they dont work on me. because im not typically sad. depression is more than just sadness. its loss of motivation and lethargy and lots of other stuff. last AD i took gave me severe panic attacks. but i really cant tell if im depressed or if its the haldol. because the haldol does all that too.