Roll Call 65

ok..soo.. just read an article that said the police arrested the murdered mans neighbor. duuuuudeee.. he lives here??!!! this makes it even more freaky... at least they got him

well im up. cant sleep cuz no ambien.

Must make coffee. Up late today but I slept OK for the most part.

Oh I had plenty of dates and countless money spend on said dates. The one's I liked didn't feel the chemistry, and then there were the one's where I couldn't feel the chemistry.

Dating can be expensive for guys. I'll probably start doing it again in a year when I have my shirt together.

im so stressed out. my chest hurts and i feel a hole in my heart. i have a stress headache. i just need someone to talk to.

im having very bad chest pains. can anyone pm or talk to me. please

Good morning!

Hope you feel better newtus

I sent you a pm.

thank you. im just so stressed out about my mom. its taking a physical toll on me.

goood morning, i lurked this morning but i'm here for real now. i actually ended up sending a mental illness podcast a full explanation of the things happening with me right now, as a sort of practice run for telling my t next week. made me late for work but it was worth it i think. i copy-pasted everything i wrote about AM into a onenote page so if he makes me shred what i write physically i'll just use the digital copy.

unless he makes me erase the file.

fvck me then.

I'm very depressed lately. Ruminating on all of my mistakes and there have been over 50 years of mistakes. I wish I'd never been born.

Ephedrine works really really well..

Guess what!!!? My financial aid appeal got APPROVED!

Which means I can pay off the 200 I owe the school on the 1st of January and then I'm set to start classes for the spring!

congrats blue bird!!!!!!!!!

thats awesome! im starting fresh in the spring. i did terribly by dropping these classes. my dad thinks i dropped them because of my mom but i didnt. but i felt pretty unmotivated to do school and sad.

Awesome!

Well, I've uploaded the clips of last nights fireworks to youtube... I tried to merge them into one clip but apparently as they have third party content i.e. music, I can't do that. I made a playlist instead.

Anyway, here they are:

Fireworks 2015

^ There's a bit of rumbling from the music on the first one, the iPhone microphone doesn't really handle loud bassy stuff that well.... Also, I was quite close to the fireworks, had I been further back it'd have probably made a better video but me having a prime spot was more important than that...

That's brilliant Blue_Bird, delighted for you!

I'm sure it does, it's a fairly potent stimulant... moreso than caffeine. It's worse for you than those caffeine pills which you are replacing mind...

i feel like im gonna have a heart attack

Those are cool, love the last one

Has your T given you breathing exercises for panic attacks? It's really important to breathe in through your stomach.

christ i don't know what i did but my shoulder hurts so bad. probably strained it the other day when i worked out. think i'm gonna lay off the weights this weekend and just run a lot while the weather's nice.

it's funny how people always go on about how if you're mentally ill You Just Gotta Exercise And Get Healthy Sweetie uvu, but my *** is at the gym 5 days a week still wanting to die.

current mood

no she hasnt. she tells me to read a book when i have anxiety