Roll Call 72

Hey I've been good. I leave tomorrow night and head back home. Then in a few weeks my sister will drive down and pick me up to move up here with them for a few months until I get my apartment in the spring. Really looking forward to it

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So glad to hear all that!

Wow, you went from having no friends to having a possible boyfriend, and other friends, really fast!

Congrats newtus!!!

I fortunately have a special someone who always listens to me.

Awesome how did you meet him?

i have to say, this past year has been really good. thats why i said before that 2015 will probably be one of the best years of my 20s because i made 2 friends. long lasting friendships. Sort OF. this one girl rarely talks to me but i know itll be a lasting friendship. and this guy i met at group...well he could possibly be my boyfriend now.

but those are the only two friends ive made. i felt my confidence skyrocket in 2015. its actually just stable right now. not going up anymore. but its at a good place.

anyway...i made the first move...hes a shy guy. virgin. like me. im not saying im giving up my virginity though. but im not sure if i fully like him or if im just desperate from the past 8 years.

hes from my group. that guy i talked about a few times that has schiz. the reason im not sure im into him is because hes just so shy. he talks poetically and sometimes disorganized. hes basically messed up like me. but i think hes more messed up than me...like with schiz. he has a job and all but its just...idk...i dont understand him and i just feel like hes not all there sometimes.

TMI
while we were making out he didnt know what to do. he kept talking about music afterwards. and to be honest it was only a bit of time into the making out and then he...ya know...some premature...issues...but hes got these beautiful green eyes. hes so sweet. although sometimes he can be a jerk.

i need some wine after all this. but ill just take a xanax. i just need to relax.

Trying to eat crackers, still hurts.

Doctor appointment on Friday,see how I am on these new meds.

Nightly depression. I upped the Effexor up to 75mg a few days ago. Lets see if this works.

Also, I'm watching better call saul which is great! Even better is that my mom and me can actually mutually like a show! Nurse Jackie

Terrible night at work. My coworker kept joking around telling me I'm a hood rat. Like 20 times she called me a hood rat. Them she said something about me being awkward. Then she said she loved me?? I am so confused by high schoolers. It was really bothering me but but I had to pretend not to care. I actually sent her home early lol... then a customer complained about me. And my brain and Thoughts felt all jumbled up. I just can't wait to get out of here u guys

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Your room is groovy hyper!
Nice kitty cat!
Is that a "black light"I see? Retro from the 60's.

Love your curly hair Newtus.
Wish I could have some curls.
I twrill and twrill but alas it goes straight agai.
(Keep the curls)

Huggie,huggie!

DNA
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you!
Hang in there!

i just woke up from a nightmare. im all sweating.

i had a nightmare that someone was in my house after my dad was gone and i ran out of the house and he chased me.

If you can make do without glasses, no problem. I have to wear them for driving and reading, so I don't have the option.
I have had countless pairs of glasses where the lenses were not 100% right for my eyes (astigmatism is a *****), and I have had to go back several times to get them nearer ideal. Admittedly my astigmatism is a lot stronger than yours.
So, in short, my take is don't bother with glasses until you need them.

i feel like im going to cry. something isnt right. i took my haldol just now

its 5:48am. my dad and i are going out to have breakfast so my morning starts now

Good morning all.

I hope everyone has a good day!

Good morning everyone. I'm ready for another good day. I planned on sleeping but my dogs are whining for me so I might just play with them for a while before I nap.
I hope everyone has a great day

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today will be a better day

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I have nightmares like that too. I know how scary they are

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thanks Valley.

i had a good breakfast. im back in bed now.

i need more coffee. whos with me!??!