Roll Call 75

morning.

i had a nightmare i was in state hospital

im at my moms house. i feel like im gonna die here or die an hour back on the road home.

Good morning all.

I hope everyone has a good day.

Please don't drive if you are not sure whether you can drive safely or not

thank you. im already home though. i felt better once i called my dad. i was gonna leave when it was still dark but i waited til the sun rose.

Good morning everyone. I keep spacing out today. Just an hour ago I went to the grocery, then the worker there asked me whether I need a help to find something, apparently he asked that because I had been talking with orange juice bottles for idk how long. I said thanks but i don't need help. Then I spaced out again, fortunately this time I realized that I was spaced out, but unfortunately I screamed when I realized this. So the point is I made a scene at the grocery. Now maybe I should find a new grocery store out of shame. I am sorry if my words don't make any sense idk what I am saying. Hope everyone has a way better day than me.

Sorry that happened 12pm.

So my predictions were well wrong and my boy lost, devastated! Good night all the same and Conor is still the champ so...

Not long after my recovery there was a guy talking to himself in the grocery....he was a short guy and could not reach the top shelf so he was starting to climb the shelves. I just walked over and grabbed the bottle and handed it to him. He never spoke to me he only said to himself see she did exactly what we wanted and continued in his own world. I'm not sure if he still shops there as I've never seen him again but when I see people who may need help I ask them just like the worker asked you.....nothing to be embarrased of and I can't even tell you what the guy looked like any more so people forget. You'll be ok.

how are you sp?

12PM,

There's nothing to be ashamed about. I talk out loud (to myself) all the time. So when I go to the supermarket sometimes people come up to me and ask me if I'm okay. I say yes. Thank you.

Keep going to the same grocery store. You have every right to be in that grocery store as anyone else.

Thanks SP, this makes me feel better. Yes you are right people might just forget about that.

i used to talk out loud to myself all the time. when i was majorly psychotic. now its just sometimes when i get paranoid or see a visual in public. or something.

remember when i flipped out because roll call? ahh good times. that was scary.

Thanks Kindness, I believe now that I'll be okay. To be honest idk whether I can go to another grocery store which is further. I am scare with the traffic when I am walking and not going out with car. There is no sidewalk here in my area. So I'll keep going to the same grocery store.

I'm sure no one will remember. They deal with all sorts of people. I hope you feel better soon

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Good morning! I hope everyone has a great day.
I think I have to go grocery shopping today. We are out of junk food lol.

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how are you Valley?

I'm doing alright. Couple irritating voices but otherwise I'm good.
How are you?

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had a nightmare i was in state hospital. doing college in state hospital. im just glad its daytime right now but im afraid to take a nap. i just want these nightmares to be over. they are spilling into the daytime and its starting to get into paranoia for me. i cant tell if ive been having delusions. no one bounces off me. like tells me if i am. no one threatens me with hospital. im glad but at least id know if something is wrong.

idk if anything is wrong.
all i know is my dad asked me if i needed to goto the hospital. so maybe thats my clue.

i just feel like the devil is inside of me. i keep praying amd praying and praying and burning incense. i have thoughts of cutting myself to release the demons.

im not sad though.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Please don't harm yourself. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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thank you. ill try not to do anything. i just want the demons out. its really bothering me but im afraid to tell anybody like my parents. i think they will tell me to just pray. i told them already about my rapture nightmare and they said pray. so they will only say pray again. my family is very religious based. before i got diagnosed with schizoaffective and schizophrenia they thought it was because i didnt pray enough. and demons and ghosts.

i think it is too but i still believe i have schiz.

i just want the demons out

thank you

does anyone else hears voices of their loved ones and obey the voices? thats what im hearing right now.

I hear voices of my family members talking to me. But i just reality check with the person the voice sounds like. My voices tend to be really random so I'm not actually bothered that much about them although sometimes they can be really loud. As for doing what they say I'm not sure because it's hard for me to differentiate between the voices and my actual family members. But i just listen to music if I'm on my own and the voices start acting up.

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thanks for your advice unsure!