Roll Call 75

Mar 06, 2016, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

wasted? what mg?

1mg but I've zero tolerance.

junkDNA · Mar 06, 2016, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

ill try to help you with your homework junkdna if you need help

Lol thanks...it was a joke tho. I did the chapter Quiz and got a 93. Now i need to take the part exam

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newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Unfortunately you're just going to have to get over it. It's not your problem, as in it's not because of you. There's little you can do to change her opinions as you've demonstrated. You're going to have to come up with mechanisms to move on from it, maybe with your therapist. It sucks but just remember it's not you, it's her. She's the one with the problem. Believe me, I know what you're going through. My parents treat me very similarly to what you're describing. I'm not invalidating your feelings at all, it's feckin hard man. Personally I just got reminded of it all today in my own situation. Makes me feel so damn small. But there's nothing I can do. I just gotta move on and learn to accept it.

its so hard to when i have virtually no other for people for support other than them. my acquaintances wouldnt come to my aide. my virtual friends cant. (online friends). any other friend left is 1. maybe. they wouldnt.

idk why im so surprised
this happens every single time.

thank you

junkDNA · Mar 06, 2016, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

1mg but I've zero tolerance.

Xanax makes me sleepy but I can't sleep on it. I used to love mixing it with painkillers or heroin. I was a bad girl

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newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Lol thanks...it was a joke tho. I did the chapter Quiz and got a 93. Now i need to take the part exam

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wow youre burning through that schoolwork really well!

newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

1mg but I've zero tolerance.

wow yea thatll knock you out

newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Xanax makes me sleepy but I can't sleep on it. I used to love mixing it with painkillers or heroin. I was a bad girl

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that reminds me...
i took half a bottle of ambien from my mom today...

Mar 06, 2016, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Xanax makes me sleepy but I can't sleep on it. I used to love mixing it with painkillers or heroin. I was a bad girl

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I used to have a thing for painkillers. Teasing myself even thinking about it! I have to be careful with prescription drugs but luckily my docs won't prescribe mroe than two weeks at a time. Last time I got benzo's was a good while ago. Totally taking them to get wasted though. Though I generally don't feel anything off them unless I'm anxious. So I suppose technically I'm using them correctly

Mar 06, 2016, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

that reminds me...
i took half a bottle of ambien from my mom today...

Ah man I love ambien.

newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 05:58 PM

you know whats weird? my dad makes me text people for him and post fb posts for him. im so afraid someone is gonna find out its me...

newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Ah man I love ambien.

well she let me have as many as i want because my insurance almost didnt give me any last time i refilled it because of the mistake the pharmacy made.

i only take it at night when im supposed to. i always love nigttime. but i shouldnt be drinking on it. but i do anyway.

im not a druggie i just want some sleep.
i fear the nightmares.

Mar 06, 2016, 06:00 PM

Possible trigger:

I'm pretty depressed/hungover/miserable today I feel like taking the whole bottle I've got left. I won't... but I'd just love to get out of here, disappear and sleep. Just endless damn sleep. Don't worry I won't. Just the thoughts I'm having, man I never get like this and I'm not sure if it's a hangover as I slept that off. Never get depressed from alcohol.

Mar 06, 2016, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

well she let me have as many as i want because my insurance almost didnt give me any last time i refilled it because of the mistake the pharmacy made.

i only take it at night when im supposed to. i always love nigttime. but i shouldnt be drinking on it. but i do anyway.

im not a druggie i just want some sleep.
i fear the nightmares.

I am a druggie. I'm a drug addict who doesn't do that much drugs, like I take as prescribed but I know if I could get a load of drugs I'd be in trouble. But given the opportunity I'd go mental on them.

Drinking on ambien is no big deal from experience, I wouldn't compare it to drinking on benzo's. I'd never drink on benzo's just because I get too drunk and I don't like being really drunk.

newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

Possible trigger:

I'm pretty depressed/hungover/miserable today I feel like taking the whole bottle I've got left. I won't... but I'd just love to get out of here, disappear and sleep. Just endless damn sleep. Don't worry I won't. Just the thoughts I'm having, man I never get like this and I'm not sure if it's a hangover as I slept that off. Never get depressed from alcohol.

be careful.
please dont do that.

i dont ever take more than .5mg xanax at a time and and i usuallt try to wait til it wears off. usuallt the next day to take more.

id hate to see you be in a bad condition because you took a whole bottle. plus alcohol.

i dont condone anything i do myself.

newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 06:06 PM

i have a very high tolerance for meds too

ofthevalley · Mar 06, 2016, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

she said during my last sui attempt my dad didnt seem concerned for me but rather more concerned about my car getting towed away from the scene.

i donf believe that.

i definitely need some sort of confirmation as to why my sister and i get unequal treatment. yet my sister says why i should i be mad over my mom when my dad gives me all the attention and not her.

something just doesnt sit well with me.
and it hasnt for 20 years.

I wouldn't believe that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

thank you.
i try to be.
actually i just want to be loved and shown love.
i guess thats something i dont get much of and i cant see it when it happens.

It's natural to want love from our parents. They should be giving it unconditionally.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickenfoot

That's pretty normal thinking newtus. There's always one in the family who is the favourite. My mam and dad don't give a **** about anyone other than my brother, even though he's a wanker most of the time. It happens. Such is life and all that.

That's terrible. I look at my kids and can't imagine picking one over the other.

I did grow up with a sister. She was the favorite of our extended family and it hurt so much when my gram would pick her up and leave me behind.
When I had my second I made it clear that If anyone treated my kids unequally, it would be the last time they'd see them.

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Mar 06, 2016, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

be careful.
please dont do that.

i dont ever take more than .5mg xanax at a time and and i usuallt try to wait til it wears off. usuallt the next day to take more.

id hate to see you be in a bad condition because you took a whole bottle. plus alcohol.

i dont condone anything i do myself.

Don't worry, they're just thoughts I'm having. I'm pretty low today so I have all these thoughts running through my head. I won't act on them but it's just odd as I haven't thought about it in a long time.

Thanks for replying

ofthevalley · Mar 06, 2016, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeus123

Valley take a breather! Having company on a Sunday night is hard especially if it's your mother in law. My mother in law lives with us so you can imagine after being with my husband since high school all I had to put up with. It's gotten better but it wasn't easy. Good luck!

I can't imagine. Just can't imagine.

you're a strong woman

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junkDNA · Mar 06, 2016, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

wow youre burning through that schoolwork really well!

Thanks!! I just got a 96 on the exam..hurray! !!

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ofthevalley · Mar 06, 2016, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

i have a very high tolerance for meds too

I have a super high tolerance for meds. Ativan is a joke. I take them 2-4 at a time ( they are .5s) and they barely touch my anxiety. I take 10 Mgs of ambien and it just helps me sleep. I don't get a good feeling it just helps me fall asleep.

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newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

I have a super high tolerance for meds. Ativan is a joke. I take them 2-4 at a time ( they are .5s) and they barely touch my anxiety. I take 10 Mgs of ambien and it just helps me sleep. I don't get a good feeling it just helps me fall asleep.

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your kinda like me.
i take .5mgs of xanax it barely does anything

10mg of ambien barely helps me sleep. thats why i drink on it. i cant fall asleep without something knockinv me out. bad bad bad thing. but i cant. it doesnt help that ive been on ambien and xanax for many years with two other sleeping meds and antianxiety meds added on too. trazodone made me feel completely high like i was exactly on weed and i couldnt take it anymore.

falcon09 · Mar 06, 2016, 06:39 PM

Hugs to everyone having a bad day.

Speaking of xanax, .25mg knocks me out, can't imagine taking 1mg.

newtus · Mar 06, 2016, 06:42 PM

i really wanna take an ambien now. i just want to sleep. i dont want to go through this.

Blue_Bird · Mar 06, 2016, 06:46 PM

Having fun studying Italian and Japanese.

I don't think I'm gonna ask for my Depakote to be increased at my next appointment. I think stress from just moving and aggravation from my nephew triggered the mood swings I was having because now that I'm more settled in and since he left yesterday I have felt much better

Mar 06, 2016, 06:57 PM

Possible trigger:

Most Klonopin I took was 46mg. I took 3mg, fell asleep, ******* a few, then took the whole bottle for some reason. NEVER DO THAT. Ever. Idk how I lived I was stoned for a week. I went to school the next day and my sister had to walk me home.

Then the most I would take would be 6-10mg. Now I chug liquor for a quick benzo like hit which is probably dangerous. I'm more for stimulants and productivity etc.

Just keep me away from pain killers O.O'!!!

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