Roll Call 75

Good morning.
I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I'm sleepy.
Hope everyone has a great day.

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Morning everyone!

Just back from a walk. Looks like I timed it just right because I can see specks on my windows now!

Hope everyone has a good day.

Oh, I just made a thread in other mental health discussion... might as well ask here too...

Does anyone here have problems with their interests constantly changing? Like really getting into something for a while & then suddenly losing interest in that to take something else up?

morning.

i prayed and prayed last night and didnt have any nightmares last night and slept almost all through the night! just woke up at 6am.

i do sometimes but it only happens maybe every 6 months to a year.

I might have replied to your other thread.

I have this problem. It's a cognitive distortion (for me it's all-or-nothing thinking), and I make list of evidence for (my obsession) and evidence against. This usually helps me find the gray area.

That has happened to me in the past. That's actually what kept me from starting college after high school, and once I did go, as soon as I finished my associates, I felt that that subject, accounting, wasn't what I wanted to do. I switched to elementary education and did that for a semester, then lost interest. I've worked at the airport, in offices, doing customer service, reception. I've wanted to be a limo driver, a stenographer, an antique re-upholsterer, a sign language interpreter (I took a whole class on that). Each thing I was very interested in and went through searches to find out how to do them, only to lose interest.

I got stuck in the monotony of receptionisting for so many years, just because I knew how to do it. It's only recently that my passion for cooking has come out. When I was younger, I'm the one that mixed up the cup instead of the teaspoon when adding cream of tartar. I'm also infamous for my first try at cooking for in laws, and making a meatloaf that turned into soup. We called out for Chinese.

Omg my dog is just walking around the house barking. He's making me crazy (er). I don't know what his problem is but I've had enough. All the dogs are acting weird. Must be the spring like weather.

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Yes just since my psychosis though.....now I have books I haven't read etc, that would have never happened before.....

...

That made my day. Not sure how that fits into the principle of "Optimum Trajectory", but I suppose you got there in the end.

Maybe that's what I should do... just try a few different things until something seems to click. Job wise...

Do you think some of that could be due to motivation? I know for me meds tended to have an impact in that regards...

Yeah my motivation is garbage right now but I think it's depression rather than meds at the moment.....but normally I would go right back to the same interests they wouldn't switch up once I became motivated again....now I've got a stack of art books, gre prep, and career choice books that are just sitting around.

You have done therapy in the past, no? Was any of that stuff you can use for improving your mood?

I'm just trying activity scheduling at the moment... even though I'm not massively depressed, I think it'll help me have more productive days & get more enjoyment out of other things.

Yeah the one I always remember is to do stuff you love all together which is why I busted out the self care box. I want to get more stuff that's fun to play with but literally nothing is interesting right now----I actually see my T tomorrow so I'm hoping she has some ideas.......

im debating whether i should goto the womens group meeting in 15 minutes

I say yes, why not....

Look what I found...was in a list of subtle signs of bipolar....do you know if you have mood changes in addition to the psychosis?

Inability to complete tasks - 10 Subtle Signs of Bipolar Disorder - Health.com

Soooo tired but melted a Concerta under my tongue.

There is 30mg pills of Abilify. They are as expensive as the injection but maybe my mom can witness me take it every morning instead of having the injection because there's ups and downs with it I think.

Sometimes it releases too much and sometimes too little. With a pill it would be the same everyday I think.

I saw that homeless guy again today. This time, I gave him a few dollars. He didn't seem to recognize me.

But I recognized him. I've seen him at my work a few times.

Hopefully he hasn't been stalking me. One night about a month ago, I left work after dark and was waiting for the bus to come. At the bus stop, I saw a man walking closer and closer to me. I started walking towards a restaurant that was open to be safe from him. He followed me to the door. When I asked him where he was going, he said that he was going to the food pick-up door...That guy looked quite similar to the homeless man I just encountered.

I'm actually not too worried. But I'm wondering if I'm having hallucinations because what are the chances that that guy has been following me?

Are you sure that its the medicine changing and not your symptoms? Also you have a tendency to want to umm tweak your medications----this might not be the best, I think it's really easy to become destabilized.

I know my symptoms change but it's just idk if it's the Abilify making me so tired or not. If I didn't have the Concerta, I'd be a vegetable. I don't tweak the medications very much like I used to such as stop taking them for months or overdosing. I'm a lot more med compliant than I used to be. I get what you're saying though.

I think the problem is your mom can't force you to take it---sure if you're OK and med compliant then everything is good but what if you get destabilized and don't want to take it anymore----still it's between you and your doc and your mom whether you give it a shot or not.....I can certainly see many reasons not to be on the injection but it took months to stabilize you originally, if I was your doc I would be really hesitant....

*cries*..

But neh you're right injection will stay.

So I put on the yoga dvd since I have a brick, mat, and strap now. I couldn't really do any of the poses yet because I'm not limber at all, maybe some day I'll be able to do it.

Got the whole first season of Game of Thrones on DVD, not going to watch it though until I finish the first book

Sorry