Safe Place 2

A place to post struggles... to get hugs and support... a safe place

Thanks JunkDNA....

I'm having terrible fears of losing my best/only friend. I'm so afraid for him, particularly if he should be harmed ever visiting me. I'm so scared. I'm worried that the neighbors will escalate again.

I'm worried about him every minute, including where he lives. Or that the train will derail. Just everything that could possibly happen.

I had so much intrusive thoughts in the hospital. And I still do. I had mostly gotten past that, but I actually haven't. The panic at the stairs is still scaring me too. Will I or won't I be able to deal with the stairs next week, when I have to.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you can overcome these problems

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Thank you, unsure.

Bf will call in about 10 minutes, will have a deep conversation about our relationship. He said I am not the same person he used to know.. Sigh.. Those days when illness becomes the reason of a broken relationship. This love thing got me headache, maybe being in a relationship doesn't suit me #foreveralone

I am just gonna go with anything he wants, I am too tired to give any explanations.

I hope things work out for the best...

I didn't mean to thank that. I meant to quote. I hope things work out alright.

I'm sorry

We broke up

FML. Screw this. Screw that. Screw anything that can be screwed.

Hugs

My boyfriend broke up with me last week too

I'm sorry

I am sorry too, SP.

Sorry guys...

Voices are louder, come from the walls.. My mania wants me to text him "thank god I feel relieved now that you left" while my depression says "I am sorry for everything, you deserve better".

I'm sorry, that is such sad news. Did they say why, or ignore if that's too personal.

If anything happened to ruin my friendship with my friend I'd be a basket case. Even though we're not technically bf/gf. That's what my charming neighbors got me to believe, the week before I was committed to the hospital.

We had different definitions of trust....he felt I didn't trust him enough, I disagree. He also felt I wasn't a giving enough person, I also disagree. Neither of us can change these core beliefs and values.

I forgot what the exact reason but all I know it happened because we both suffer with MI. This is not the first time we broke up because of it though. In 6 years we had broken up for like 3-4 times. The longest was for 6 months, and 2 weeks for the shortest. Idk how long this one is gonna be, maybe it's temporary maybe it's forever. But no matter how many times it had happened it's always hurt.

I'm sorry I hate to hear that.

Oh, I'm really sorry about that. At least you didn't break up over superficial stuff. But it doesn't matter why to your soul, it hurts just the same. (In my experience.)

Yes, I know that's sadly too true. It doesn't matter why, it hurts all the same.

I was switched from Abilify to Invega, and now I have RLS every night. I like the invega but despite having Cogentin I either need more Cogentin or a different ap. One of the docs there really didn't like me. I got switched two times, and I also feel like they took me someplace the first few nights and did ECT on me. I remember some weird things from the first few days/nights. It felt like my memory had gone from fair/poor to poor/poor overnight. I have a memory of being loaded onto a gurney and taken someplace and brought back.

My memory has been getting worse and worse and I'm seriously concerned that I have the beginnings of dementia. This is the only place I've said so, now, besides to myself.

While I was still in the God-knows-where wing the first night and day, they did something where you are a target and they hose you off with benzo "gas" to calm you down. On the afternoon of the first day, they did that and while I was looking at the light on the ceiling, all sorts of weird things I saw. Like my fingerprints and all my collected medical data were being stamped on my head. I saw some of it, and it took several days to get over it.

I'm still not sure about everything that happened but I became very aware that hospitals conceal a ton of stuff from us.

Angelique

how frightening