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  #126  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:17 PM
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Who is door? Hugs for all who want them.

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  #127  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:17 PM
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iv been feeling low for 3 weeks now. i go from crippling suicidal to just feeling ok or maybe even just "meh"... then back down. i even increased my vybriid by 10mg on my own. nada nothing changes. i dont know whats happening to me... im holding on to hope that when my period comes ill find some relief. but i am barely hanging on
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  #128  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:19 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Had a girls day with my daughter. We went shopping at the mall and saw Ice Age. It was okay not as good as the 1st and 2nd ones. I made it through the whole day without a prn! Felt pretty good to just have fun with my daughter. And now I'm just awaiting the arrival of my take out. Damn good day. I hope it continues.

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  #129  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:22 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
iv been feeling low for 3 weeks now. i go from crippling suicidal to just feeling ok or maybe even just "meh"... then back down. i even increased my vybriid by 10mg on my own. nada nothing changes. i dont know whats happening to me... im holding on to hope that when my period comes ill find some relief. but i am barely hanging on

I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. I've got my fingers crossed that you'll feel better soon. I know that crippling feeling all too well.

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  #130  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:24 PM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by 88Butterfly88 View Post
Who is door? Hugs for all who want them.

Door is a poster here. She doesn't post much anymore because...life.

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  #131  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:44 PM
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Oh okay, thanks for the info valley.

I took my anti-psychotic late (by mistake) and didn't go crazy. Felt like people were behind me but no voices. I'm not saying don't take meds, meds are important. Had I gone much longer without it I would have probably had a problem. Thank goodness I remembered.
  #132  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:54 PM
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Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
iv been feeling low for 3 weeks now. i go from crippling suicidal to just feeling ok or maybe even just "meh"... then back down. i even increased my vybriid by 10mg on my own. nada nothing changes. i dont know whats happening to me... im holding on to hope that when my period comes ill find some relief. but i am barely hanging on
I hope it will get better asap.
Thanks for this!
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  #133  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 05:58 PM
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thanks ofthevalley and angelique. i havent felt this bad in years so i am at a loss on how to manage it
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  #134  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 06:14 PM
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thanks ofthevalley and angelique. i havent felt this bad in years so i am at a loss on how to manage it
Have you had any other med changes? Sounds like no, except for the vibriid. Is that an antidepressant? Maybe they should give you a new one?

It sounds also like your feelings about your t are changing? He upset you with the texting, I know that. Maybe all this is a mixture of that with meds no longer providing stability. Can you tell your pdoc/provider that you think you may need an antidepressant started or changed also.
  #135  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 06:18 PM
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I really want to get away from where I live. There's nothing for me here.

My grandmother in Victoria Island said I could live with her and go to Victoria University. I could also visit my brother, aunt, uncle whenever and they said that they would help.

The disability benefit is less than half but my dad said that he would pay.

I want to be able to support myself.

Also I could get a drivers license and there's jobs there now that I'm mostly stable.

Edit: By October, the disability benefits are supposed to be 1200 over there which is good.

Last edited by Anonymous37841; Jul 30, 2016 at 06:49 PM.
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  #136  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Angelique67 View Post
Have you had any other med changes? Sounds like no, except for the vibriid. Is that an antidepressant? Maybe they should give you a new one?

It sounds also like your feelings about your t are changing? He upset you with the texting, I know that. Maybe all this is a mixture of that with meds no longer providing stability. Can you tell your pdoc/provider that you think you may need an antidepressant started or changed also.
no, my meds have been the same for a long time. i see my NP on aug 23. i might ask her if its not resolved by then

yes, my T upset me but we've discussed it. he still lets me text him and he responds. i just cant go nuts over it. he told me its understandable because i am struggling so much. but, my depression started before that happened..

edit: yes vybriid is an antidepressant
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  #137  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
no, my meds have been the same for a long time. i see my NP on aug 23. i might ask her if its not resolved by then

yes, my T upset me but we've discussed it. he still lets me text him and he responds. i just cant go nuts over it. he told me its understandable because i am struggling so much. but, my depression started before that happened..

edit: yes vybriid is an antidepressant
OK. If it isn't working anymore, maybe they will change it. It seems like maybe you're still upset with him, or therapy. It should be said often that there's no right or wrong when it comes to feelings.
  #138  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 09:14 PM
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I really want to get away from where I live. There's nothing for me here.

My grandmother in Victoria Island said I could live with her and go to Victoria University. I could also visit my brother, aunt, uncle whenever and they said that they would help.

The disability benefit is less than half but my dad said that he would pay.

I want to be able to support myself.

Also I could get a drivers license and there's jobs there now that I'm mostly stable.

Edit: By October, the disability benefits are supposed to be 1200 over there which is good.

I would go if things are really that good there!

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  #139  
Old Jul 30, 2016, 10:13 PM
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I'm trying my best not to freak out but there are some really strange noises going on outside right now
It sounds like explosions but they are constant like footsteps one right after the other and it sounds like it'd close yet far away
I can't tell if someone is stomping around on my deck or if someone is setting off bombs across the field
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  #140  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 01:17 AM
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Had my Grandpas memorial service yesterday, it went well a lot of people showed up, and my Aunt and Uncle that I was paranoid about didn't do anything stupid or start any fights. I broke down crying during the Eulogy I tried giving, my sister had to talk for me. My other uncle.took the sword my Grandpa made since it was.willed to him, I really miss that thing already, there's now just a cross shaped spot on the wall. Been hearing some voices, but they're not loud luckly, still a little paranoid now that I heard something that sounded like a loud gunshot outside. And I'm just really missing my Grandpa right now...
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  #141  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 04:00 AM
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Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
no, my meds have been the same for a long time. i see my NP on aug 23. i might ask her if its not resolved by then

yes, my T upset me but we've discussed it. he still lets me text him and he responds. i just cant go nuts over it. he told me its understandable because i am struggling so much. but, my depression started before that happened..

edit: yes vybriid is an antidepressant
You have nothing much in the way of psychosis though?
Depression only?
  #142  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 04:09 AM
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no. she still posts on forums about gangstalkers. sorry to say.
Ok thanks. She's fairly unique, Sz for myself and most others usually means, take meds of one kind or other, or its hospital, or take meds or its a meeting with law enforcement, etc, etc, she operates with no deterrent from her illness, that's why she is still sick. Because her illness does not physically grind her to a standstill. If it did she would take her meds. Even if she is taking meds, her illness does not seem to compel her to search through a long list of options until something has effect. I have taken about 7 different APs , the driving force was relief from my illness, because if I didnt get relief it would kill me. Her form of SZ is just odd, that is all, its like she can remain psychotic indefinetly, wheras with most , they absolutely need relief. Anyway I gave up talking to her...

Last edited by Anonymous52334; Jul 31, 2016 at 04:24 AM.
  #143  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 07:40 AM
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You have nothing much in the way of psychosis though?
Depression only?
I was hearing voices a week ago but it only lasted for 2 days

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  #144  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 08:39 AM
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I was hearing voices a week ago but it only lasted for 2 days

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Oh ok, hopefully it will get better. Non sz folk are even susceptible to depression, so if your drug combo is working on the Sz, at least that something, I know though you cant live with depression either..
  #145  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 09:12 AM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose View Post
Had my Grandpas memorial service yesterday, it went well a lot of people showed up, and my Aunt and Uncle that I was paranoid about didn't do anything stupid or start any fights. I broke down crying during the Eulogy I tried giving, my sister had to talk for me. My other uncle.took the sword my Grandpa made since it was.willed to him, I really miss that thing already, there's now just a cross shaped spot on the wall. Been hearing some voices, but they're not loud luckly, still a little paranoid now that I heard something that sounded like a loud gunshot outside. And I'm just really missing my Grandpa right now...

I'm glad things went well

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  #146  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 09:35 AM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Good morning.
Woke up with a banging headache probably because I slept like ****. Nothing at all going on here today. It's muggy and ****** out. So nothing outside to do. Maybe just walking the dogs.
What's everyone else up to?

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  #147  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Materly View Post
Oh ok, hopefully it will get better. Non sz folk are even susceptible to depression, so if your drug combo is working on the Sz, at least that something, I know though you cant live with depression either..
Honestly I think I would rather be psychotic than in a suicidal depressiib

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  #148  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
no, my meds have been the same for a long time. i see my NP on aug 23. i might ask her if its not resolved by then

yes, my T upset me but we've discussed it. he still lets me text him and he responds. i just cant go nuts over it. he told me its understandable because i am struggling so much. but, my depression started before that happened..

edit: yes vybriid is an antidepressant
I think you should try to get an earlier appointment. Feel better!
  #149  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 10:28 AM
ofthevalley ofthevalley is offline
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Honestly I think I would rather be psychotic than in a suicidal depressiib

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  #150  
Old Jul 31, 2016, 11:39 AM
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All day

sleep

All night

sleep
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