Roll call 81

Who is door? Hugs for all who want them.

iv been feeling low for 3 weeks now. i go from crippling suicidal to just feeling ok or maybe even just "meh"... then back down. i even increased my vybriid by 10mg on my own. nada nothing changes. i dont know whats happening to me... im holding on to hope that when my period comes ill find some relief. but i am barely hanging on

Had a girls day with my daughter. We went shopping at the mall and saw Ice Age. It was okay not as good as the 1st and 2nd ones. I made it through the whole day without a prn! Felt pretty good to just have fun with my daughter. And now I'm just awaiting the arrival of my take out. Damn good day. I hope it continues.

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I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. I've got my fingers crossed that you'll feel better soon. I know that crippling feeling all too well.

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Door is a poster here. She doesn't post much anymore because...life.

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Oh okay, thanks for the info valley.

I took my anti-psychotic late (by mistake) and didn't go crazy. Felt like people were behind me but no voices. I'm not saying don't take meds, meds are important. Had I gone much longer without it I would have probably had a problem. Thank goodness I remembered.

I hope it will get better asap.

thanks ofthevalley and angelique. i havent felt this bad in years so i am at a loss on how to manage it

Have you had any other med changes? Sounds like no, except for the vibriid. Is that an antidepressant? Maybe they should give you a new one?

It sounds also like your feelings about your t are changing? He upset you with the texting, I know that. Maybe all this is a mixture of that with meds no longer providing stability. Can you tell your pdoc/provider that you think you may need an antidepressant started or changed also.

I really want to get away from where I live. There's nothing for me here.

My grandmother in Victoria Island said I could live with her and go to Victoria University. I could also visit my brother, aunt, uncle whenever and they said that they would help.

The disability benefit is less than half but my dad said that he would pay.

I want to be able to support myself.

Also I could get a drivers license and there's jobs there now that I'm mostly stable.

Edit: By October, the disability benefits are supposed to be 1200 over there which is good.

no, my meds have been the same for a long time. i see my NP on aug 23. i might ask her if its not resolved by then

yes, my T upset me but we've discussed it. he still lets me text him and he responds. i just cant go nuts over it. he told me its understandable because i am struggling so much. but, my depression started before that happened..

edit: yes vybriid is an antidepressant

OK. If it isn't working anymore, maybe they will change it. It seems like maybe you're still upset with him, or therapy. It should be said often that there's no right or wrong when it comes to feelings.

I would go if things are really that good there!

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I'm trying my best not to freak out but there are some really strange noises going on outside right now
It sounds like explosions but they are constant like footsteps one right after the other and it sounds like it'd close yet far away
I can't tell if someone is stomping around on my deck or if someone is setting off bombs across the field

Had my Grandpas memorial service yesterday, it went well a lot of people showed up, and my Aunt and Uncle that I was paranoid about didn't do anything stupid or start any fights. I broke down crying during the Eulogy I tried giving, my sister had to talk for me. My other uncle.took the sword my Grandpa made since it was.willed to him, I really miss that thing already, there's now just a cross shaped spot on the wall. Been hearing some voices, but they're not loud luckly, still a little paranoid now that I heard something that sounded like a loud gunshot outside. And I'm just really missing my Grandpa right now...

You have nothing much in the way of psychosis though?
Depression only?

Ok thanks. She's fairly unique, Sz for myself and most others usually means, take meds of one kind or other, or its hospital, or take meds or its a meeting with law enforcement, etc, etc, she operates with no deterrent from her illness, that's why she is still sick. Because her illness does not physically grind her to a standstill. If it did she would take her meds. Even if she is taking meds, her illness does not seem to compel her to search through a long list of options until something has effect. I have taken about 7 different APs , the driving force was relief from my illness, because if I didnt get relief it would kill me. Her form of SZ is just odd, that is all, its like she can remain psychotic indefinetly, wheras with most , they absolutely need relief. Anyway I gave up talking to her...

I was hearing voices a week ago but it only lasted for 2 days

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Oh ok, hopefully it will get better. Non sz folk are even susceptible to depression, so if your drug combo is working on the Sz, at least that something, I know though you cant live with depression either..

I'm glad things went well

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Good morning.
Woke up with a banging headache probably because I slept like ****. Nothing at all going on here today. It's muggy and ****** out. So nothing outside to do. Maybe just walking the dogs.
What's everyone else up to?

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Honestly I think I would rather be psychotic than in a suicidal depressiib

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I think you should try to get an earlier appointment. Feel better!

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All day

sleep

All night

sleep