Roll call 94?

For awhile after my break i was posting extremely cool and positive stuff. For about 2 years. Then its like the beginning of this year just went downhill. Everything just went to hell.

Same. I rarely post, just use messenger to keep in touch with people.

Idk what it is about this year but this is such a bad year. Every month has been bad and it continues to grow worse as time goes on. With each month passing.

Last month starting out with me not taking my meds.

Thats why i said earlier idk how my life got like this.

I think we all wonder the same thing.
I do believe part of your issue comes from going on and off of your meds. It can't be good for you to switch back and forth like that.

Im sure it isnt. But the most im off them is for a day, maybe 2. So they are still in my system.

Ugh. Im so confused. I feel anger right now.

That cant be even part of my issues because i only been off and on my meds for a few weeks. What about january through march with depression? And drinking. Idk

I've been ****ed up mentally for most of this year so I can agree this year kind of sucks.

Roll call has moved fast this weekend! I hope everyone can do something nice today.
I feel fear. Im trying to put it away.
One of my dogs is asleep on my feet. That is nice.
I have to go to the store. (I think its ofthevalley's grocery day too, right?)

I forgot a lot of episodes, i Wonder if i ever had them

I feel shiny.

I'm watching murder shows and eating popcorn. Exciting Sunday.

My cat tore up an easter basket back in april. It had fake hay in it. Im still finding that **** everywhere.

I hate when people put suicide hotlines on facebook and talk about reaching out to them. Thats not possible. Do they not realize people will be put in psychiatric hospitals if they tell anyone? Its beyond me. Plus the judgement. Its ridiculous. I would never tell anyone i feel that way. Except maybe here. But its like never anyone i personally know.

I hate sitting through the feeling tho. When i get depressed it's different than not wanting to live anymore. The latter is a deeper feeling that eats away at me. Depression for me is just deep sadness but i know it's temporary.

I think im dealing with depression and anxiety right now. Its only temporary but i will have to sit through this. I have no meds for either.

Please excuse my venting in advance.

I'm paranoid that they're watching me...the hospital staff, if I say anything I will be kept longer. They're monitoring me. Maybe they're also mind controlling me.

Of course they're watching but they can't control your mind.......

I'm sorry. Who isn't hearing you in your life?

Should i take another dose of haldol?

They have told me they don't monitor me before...maybe they're lying then.

it just feels like my friends and family dont understand me

i dont know who to trust anymore because it feels like people dont hear me, this is including my new therapist

Maybe it's different over there but here at least one watches you if you're in the common areas and we had people posted in the hallways by the rooms to.

That's such a lost feeling. I felt that way all through my school years and beyond. But if I feel that way now, I know it will pass.

Your therapist just needs some time to get to know you. I think you should tell her or him this way you feel.

Hey Angelique, how was your visit?

I took a hydroxyzine. It makes me feel like crap but hopefully itll do something.

Im starting to feel paranoid and jumpy. Its never good when i feel paranoid.

I took another dose of haldol too

I hope the the hydroxyzine and haldol help.