Roll call 94?

Just got done eating dinner, it looks like no sleeping meds tonight. Had a hard time getting a hold of pdoc today then the pharmacy closed right after she sent the script over. :/

Didn't mean to thank this.
Why do you think you're relapsing? What's going on?

Oh no. That stinks. Hope you get your script soon.

Thanks, I should hopefully have it tomorrow.

Hearing voices everyday now. Seeing demons. I rarely see stuff. Its not common for me. My paranoia is so bad, im not even sure whats real or not. Which means i cant tell if im in a delusion or not. Lots of depression and anxiety. Panic attacks.

I wake up feeling exhausted and tired more than usual. Ive been sleeping during the day.

Just lots of stuff. Barely been eating. I get angry easy.

It all started with some voices at night. But escalated slowly. All the way til now.

This is...never what i wanted. I feel awful every single day. And i hate complaining here because i want to talk about fun things but...i cant. My mind is so dark right now.

Its like i know, (i think), that im hearing voices but deep down i think they are real.

The paranoia? Idk if its real or not. It keeps getting more and more everyday.

I'm sorry you are having so many symptoms. You shouldn't worry about expressing it. This is a support board and we are here to support you. Whether it's fun or not.
Can you talk to your therapist or PSS? I would think that they would have some insight. Or even your dad. He probably knows you best.

I tried talking to my dad when he was not so busy today but he just basically told me to make a log book of my symptoms. Im wondering if i should.

I wont see my therapist for another few weeks and the Wednesday group is canceled. So ill be seeing the pss on Thursday in group. But i know she will tell me how much of my fault it was to stop my meds. I realize that. But i still even wonder if i even need them. Idk how i ended up in this thinking. Its like its not supposed to make sense to think that right? But for some reason i think that.

I appreciate you valley.

I wish my husband was home. I feel so sick. Now I can't keep anything down.

I appreciate everyone here, who listens to my ranting and raving and venting. And still replies to me.

Are you all alone???

Maybe a log would be a good thing. You could track your symptoms and see if they are getting worse.
Without your meds your symptoms seem to flare up. That's just what I see from you posting here. I think you need them. Maybe a new med would help. It sounds like the haldol isn't doing it's job.

No. My son is in his room.

I should listen to everyone here and just take my meds. But at least im feeling something other than regular heartbreak and loneliness. Thats all ive been feeling since march. Since January tho...man...its been horrible.

The haldol does its job. I just figured i didnt need it. I still think i dont. But im getting too far down the deep end.

I believe I can fly like the birdies in the sky.

I know things have been rough for you for a while.

Im ready to goto bed

Im not even tired

I'm not tired either. Ambien should solve that if I can keep it down.
My daughter just called to say goodnight. She's at a sleep over party.

Thats neat.

Its a pain for me to sleep at night. Ever since i been off ambien and xanax i cant ever get to bed the same way. Its awful.

I hate stomach bugs the worst. I hope you'll feel better soon. Ginger ale has been a stomach soother for a long time but Coke is good too. Anything ginger should help though, like ginger tea.

I don't have anything ginger here

Im gonna need to eat something to get to sleep. Carbs. Bread and pasta.

I can't sleep without my ambien. I dread the day she takes me off of it.

I dreaded that same day. But i lived. But life is in def not the same without it