Roll Call 142!

It’s snowing dammit.
Guess there’s no denying winter is here.
I’m going to try to nap. I took my meds for the first time in a while yesterday and I think they knocked me. I’m so tired.
Still freaking hungry too . I feel like I did when I tried losing weight by counting calories and meal planning years ago. All I thought about was stuffing my face. I’m right back there. Searching for stuff to devour.

Hi Everybody. Just working today. Have a migraine but not as bad as yesterdays. Probably a rebound headache. Oh fun. I keep hearing like a buzzing/humming noise that is really annoying and I'm not sure where it's coming from (inside my head, outside my head). Bleh. I'm super hungry today too. I thought I was over this side effect from the Rexulti but I guess not. HUGS to everybody who wants one! Kit

My dad came over and bought us some groceries and the bf some medicine. Hes so sweet!

Ive been snapping at the bf lately.

Idk whats wrong with me.

The voices and hallucinations are tormenting me. That's as far as I can say...

Such a cold, windy day. I might make some decaf coffee because I want a hot drink but am trying to only drink up to 2 regular coffees a day which I had in the morning

Exhausted and have a headache

Blue_Bird I hope you feel better soon. Kit

If I tell my therapist that God spoke to me do you think she's just going to tell me it was a hallucination? Kit

Thanks Kit!

I'm not sure what your therapist would say but I hope it goes well

I kind of panicked for a bit because I wasn't sure what was real and I thought my face was not my own.

I know thats weird

Feeling better now though

Ew...starting therapy again next Thursday. I hope it’s only required once a month.
I have to come up with stuff to talk about ugh...so much work. This is going to suck. It’s just 45 minutes right lol. Fml.
I really don’t think it’s fair to require therapy for maintenance care. I have zero issues...nothing at all to talk about. I cut out all the toxicity when I came home from the hospital. I have a good little bubble going on.
Not looking forward to someone trying to shrink me.

Made it onto the deans list at my college I'm proud of myself

How long do you have to go to therapy for? I hope it goes good for you. Sometimes I have trouble coming up with stuff to talk about too. I'm sure there's stuff just I don't want to talk about it. HUGS Kit

Well done Blue_Bird! Great job!

At this new place I HAVE to see a therapist in order to see my pnp. So lifelong I guess
I do not share with people. I use anonymous forums for that. I speak only to my husband and bestest.
Even me and the pnp don’t discuss my life. Just how I’m feeling med and symptom wise. She can tell my moods by looking at me...there’s no need to chat.
The only time I’ve ever discussed my life with someone IRL was when my son went missing. It was a real life nightmare and I happened to have therapy the next day.
I cried and spilled my guts...immediately regretted it I do not cry. She was shocked and then things got weird.
Never again. It was a lapse in judgement. I prefer to talk to someone I know and can trust. That’s why it’s just my husband and bestest. They are the only 2 people that I trust (aside from my kids but obviously I don’t lean on them lol). My family doesn’t even know what or if I’m dx’d with anything. I don’t let anyone in my bubble...ever.

I think i know part of the reason why i havent worked in almost a week or two. Aside from a few days working.

I think im partially burnt out cuz i went so hard. And im just getting depressed again. Which probably partly brought on the episode last night with alcohol idk

Im just tired. I want to get married. Im ready for the next step and the bf isnt ready.

I know

I know

I know. I just. I hate redundancy.

Try not to race too fast through life, it’s definitely the journey not a destination...

Thank you. I have a BAD habit of racing through life. As you can see im already burnt out and depressed about it. Plus i did this in the past with college too...

Went to the NAMI meeting today.

It went well, there were several other people there with sz/sza.

I’m so discouraged. I feel like I’m falling apart. Started with my head, my stomach, my back, my knee, and now this stupid cyst. Whatever I did ****ed it up. It’s turned a kind of blue/purple and it’s even more swollen. And the pain! Ugh...wtf?
Dont get old folks

Oh I went shopping for some food.
Got gross *** almond milk, coconut milk which I haven’t tried yet, coconut oil, steel oats, granola and chia seeds, more fruit, coconut yogurt gagworthy, chocolate covered almonds , and some Dave’s killer bread lol. Haven’t tried the bread yet.
Cost me $6 for that loaf of bread

I'm so sick of this headache , it seriously needs to go away.

That looks painful valley, I hope something helps you feel better

Hope you feel better. You’ve been suffering a couple days now haven’t you?