Roll Call 151

The tension In the apartment is so thick.

The sad tension. The fear. I can feel fiances aura. The sadness of his aura is coming off in thick waves.

I've always been able to feel peoples emotions and vibes. I'm an empath. Everything right now can be sliced with a butter knife, everything that's in the air. It's like a thick smog of depression and melancholy.

I dont know how to describe it.

The thick smog of melancholy in this apartment is radiating so much into me, I feel nauseous and anxious.

....

Dustin just left and I could feel the melancholy slowly wade out of existence in this apartment. Not that it isnt here anymore but it felt like the main source of it separated from between us, because it was like connected. Now I'm only here alone in my own mixed vibes, alone.

That sounds mildly psychotic tbh unless you’re being poetic.....please find out when you can increase your med dose.....

I've never been able to describe that stuff in such fashion.

In my past like when I was sick I could feel vibes, but when I recovered I couldn't feel them as much anymore. For Some reason I can right now. Idk why.

Theres been times in my life since I was like 12 I felt that maybe I had like some sort of psychic thing going on in me. I remember when I was 12 I had a feeling my sister was not going to be alright. She was going to the mall one day. I told my dad and he didnt believe me. Then she didnt come home for longer than expected and it had turned out her car died coming back home.

I've always been like this. Which is normally why I always separate myself from people who carry negative energy like manipulative and evil energy for whatever reason.

All I know is I feel a little lighter right now with him gone.

Well Its possible I'm sick. But those words just came to me. It's possible I could be getting worse.

I dont feel sick. I'm not noticing anything sick about me. All I know is I'm very depressed.

Idk maybe it's more than that.

Its hard to explain because I dont honestly think I'm sick. I really dont.

I think this death and with fiance being so fckin depressed is wearing on me.

Idk maybe im wrong.

I would call the pharmacy and find out about my meds......that’s all I’m saying.....the last think you need right now is full blown psychosis.....

Yea I just called them but they said the fastest the could get my extra meds to me would be monday.

Do you have enough to take the increased dose until then?

Not really. I cant open up the individual packets for morning. Cuz then I wont have the morning doses later in the month.

I dont think I'm delusional. Even mildly.

It's just that being around the fiance during this time is really hard for me. It already has been this past week but its just worse now.

I mean theres nothing I could say or do that will help him and that's hard. And I'm just holding back everything and letting things slide that he normally does.

I havent seen him laugh or even smile for like 2 weeks. Or maybe 1. Idk. But things are just so depressing right now.

The small brief breakup 2 days ago and now this, mainly. But other things too.

Keep waking up later than usual, didn't get up till 10:30 today. Feeling good though

Sorry about everything that's going on Newtus, I hope things improve with time

I'm craving McDonalds french fries like crazy

Super excited.
CrateJoy is offering 20% off Wellness and Self-Care subscription boxes.
I’ve been eyeing them forever but never pulled the plug. 20% off is a great incentive on top of the fact that I’m feeling slightly “blue” today...I ordered
I got the Sanctuary Shower Box
https://www.cratejoy.com/subscriptio...-blessing-box/

Awesome!

Yea I saw those too a long time ago. They are good.

Thank you BB

Time feels that it’s running very slow these two days..

@newtus so sorry for your loss and everything you are going through. Good luck with the interview today. HUGS Kit

Hi all,

Sorry it’s been so long. Guess I just needed a hiatus from PC. Happens sometimes.

I’ve just been busy and focusing on RL stuff quite a lot. Mostly just ups and downs of seeing someone and cutting down on alcohol. Both are going well. Shall be off alcohol in just over a week.

I suspect I won’t be around for a while longer. Not really sure when I’ll come back properly but shall try check in from time to time.

I have been thinking of you all even if I’ve not been around. Hope you are all well.

Finished winter scene

Perspective is a bit off but I'm still learning

Great that the alcohol and seeing someone are going well nice to see an update

Woke up at 7am from my alarm. Didn't get out of bed until 1pm. ****.