Roll Call 151

I don't miss voices but I'm interested in the fact that I had them.

There's a psychedelic drug called Diisopropyltryptamine which makes you hear voices constantly for 3-6 hours.

There's also another drug that can make you hear voices for two weeks.

But I'd never try them. I already had that experience without drugs.

I used to miss them but I’m past that now....now I’m more shocked and afraid when I do get voices

Same here!

Before, being an atheist and really logical, I was puzzled as to how people could believe in supernatural things related to psychosis.

The deeper I went, I've lost that innocence to the possibilities of what reality really can be. So when people are struggling, I say "These things aren't real".. Yknow.. the obscure things that are hard to tell..

Spirits, ghosts, demons, God, angels, dead people talking to you, NOPE EEHH not real!

I try to make sense of all things in reality. But I'm too disorganized of thought.

Shamans exist in all cultures of the world. If a teenager in some weird place in the world is hallucinating, the community says "You have a gift" and the teenager goes on to become a shaman.

Imagine that..

They all use different ways to induce the "trance". I learned that in my anthropology class.

Aw **** SP. This is the first I've heard of this. That sounds terrible, especially because you love nature so much.

Withdrawal from certain meds can create awful nightmares. I remember going 2 days without Geodon and it was non stop nightmare, then wake up, and then go back to bed, and then nightmare, ad infinitum. My memory is foggy because of the Seroquel. You're in the middle of a med change right?

Agoraphobia is a fear. Fears are broken by facing the fear. The mind doesn't want to do things that cause harm.

People do things out of fear more than they do them for pleasure. That's why a drug is more addictive based on how severe the withdrawal is.

When I dated a psychologist at UofM she would do cognitive therapy. There was one young girl who was horrified of water. So she would gradually interduce her to something wet, then washing hands, then ect… until she had the courage to dunk her head into water. I forgot the specific treatment name though... does anybody know the name of this type of therapy?

Exposure therapy?

Oh it’s ok now, I mostly conquered it....I almost cried in the car going on vacation but I realized it would only continue to get worse if I didn’t face it, sometimes you’ve gotta push through.....

My psychosis manifested as shamanism, I still sometimes practice it.....

Desoxy that's probably it. It was too many years ago for me, and my memory is foggy.

My cellphone an android S8 has been difficult to charge lately so I got a toothpick and got out all the lent from the usb C port, then brushed it with a tooth brush with xylene on it. It works much better now. Honestly, I feel like they design these ports to only last a couple years so that you're forced to buy phone.

I see my pdoc next Friday and I need a plan to get good sleep for the next couple months. I'm going to up the Trileptal to at least 1200mgs, and I need another med for back up. The thing is though, I don't want another central nervous system depressant like a benzo, or gabapentin. I build tolerance up to fast. The Seroquel is not my cup of tea because it messes with a receptor that fogs my mind and it doesn't work well anymore, and I can't go any higher because I get heart palpitations. I don't want ambien either because I wont remember what I did during the night.

Last night went to bed at 11pm. I finally fell asleep at 5am, then woke up at 750am, went to work, and I had to take an hour nap to get me through the day. I felt awful until around lunch.

The problem is that U can't feel sleep hormones anymore. Sex releases chemicals that use to knock me out, but ever since I became emotionally flat I no longer feel it anymore whatsoever. I say anhedonia but this means I'm numb to more than just pleasure.

Anybody have any advice for me, or med recommendations?

This is the type of thing I'm talking about. I've been interested in abstract ideas ever since I developed positive symptoms.

I've become interested in types of art like drawings, paintings, music, poetry, stories, etc..

I've changed. And I want to make the most of everything interesting in the world. The spiritual and physical and what to do about all the information.

I'm awakened yet paralysed.

Thank you! I hope I am still.

I think you have an irrational fear of ambien because of what happened with your girlfriend.

It's possible for that to happen to people but unlikely to happen all the time.

Unless your brain chemistry reacts with it badly. It is known to do that sometimes if you purposefully stay awake before it kicks in. Just make sure you aren't near a stairs or a busy road, keep sharp objects hidden..

Well Idk maybe ambien is a screwed up med now that I think of it if something bad happened before.

Edit: You could try muscle relaxers like flexeril (Ofthevalley) or Tizanidine (Angelique)

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@Day Tripper have you tried Trazodone? It's an older anti-depressant that works well for sleep. Maybe ask your doctor about it. It has helped me.

You’re in a great position to do anything you want since financially you’re ok.....a lot of art has deeper meaning, I can see you expressing yourself that way....and if for some reason if you can’t do it yourself there is always art history.....I had a couple of fantastic art history courses, I think you would like it.

That's interesting because I'm naturally very creative. I play music, paint, write, etc.

When I got positive symptoms I started being interested in more concrete things like science and medical things. Philosophy too but it's not concrete.

I just keep going and going

I'm exhausted but I just washed the dishes and took out the trash.

I'm the kind of person that if I've already been busy for a bit I keep going. Idk why.

Some fcktard keeps throwing empty beer cans next to our door and it's really starting to piss me off. I think it's that racist guy. But he doesnt know I live here. So idk. I dont even know if its him doing it.

Is everything okay?

I’m convinced that the nondominant parts of the brain become more communicative during psychosis.....

I haven't taken my anti depressants for 4 days...