Roll Call 152

Sorry to hear....maybe show us the shoes 👠 you bought..?

That's a good idea, I hope something works for you too.

I have these printed out at home and look at them when I'm trying to come up with ideas for things to do to cope with stuff


http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Jou...lls-Poster.pdf

50 Ways To Take A Break (INFOGRAPHIC) | The Best Stuff Online

I'm bored.

I'm hardly ever alone with my thoughts anymore. So I find it hard to be now.

I'm either at work, or on the phone with someone, or on social media, or of course asleep.

I still haven't found a book to read on kindle. Idk if I want to. I just idk...I dont want to spend the money.

I'll never forget the time when I saw a new psychiatrist at my old clinic. She was asking me questions because I was new to her. But it wasnt an intake.

And she asked me how often do I cum.

Lol! Weird!

Fck. I gotta goto work tomorrow.

It's not that I dont enjoy it. I'm just so exhausted lately now. I didnt get to sleep in on my bday. I had to wake up at 6:30am. Honestly tho, the training I'm doing now is a bit boring. A lot of reading manuals. I'm ready to actually work.

I have a 4 day weekend tho so that's good. I'm off on govt holidays.

I feel like when I'm depressed, I feel more stupid in a way where I'm not creative than smarter in another way because I'm realistic and logical (Thinking more about reality - Also because depression makes me feel worthless and stupid anyways). When I'm happy, I feel smart in a way where I'm more creative (More than stupid in my perspective of what I believe other people think because I'm losing touch with reality - Also because being happy is a quasi-delusional state where I have more self esteem so I’d obviously have more faith that I’m smarter).

Then with my thoughts about how other people see me when I'm depressed, I feel like they think that I'm smarter because I talk less and think more realistically and logically than they do but inferior because I'm less creative (Also that people are concerned for me. People see the opposite in themselves which breaks their own delusion because it’s just faith that is holding onto something that isn’t real. You’d need to be manic for it to be real - Which is a full blown delusion). Also that they think that when I'm happy, I'm stupid to people that are egotistical because I'm annoying. That's why people with no empathy (Sociopaths) to feel what another person feels AND can't see the mirror effect (Psychopaths) and put people down to make themselves feel better (And they never get psychosis).

Does this explain why people in mania become psychotic?

Training can be so boring I know! At this job I was stuck in a classroom setting with eight other people for more than two months before I even got to sit at my desk lol.

I'm feeling a smidge better today but I'm worried the sui thoughts will come back. I have a plan though. If I start to notice the thoughts, I'm going to try to stop them and then focus on something positive. If I don't have a lot to do at work today (which it's not looking like it) then I will have a lot of time with my thoughts and be able to ruminate which is bad. So I gotta keep my mind on happy things. My friend gave me a deserved lecture last night on not down playing things to my PDOC. I deserved that.

Finally started drawing again. Drew a charmander but I plan on coloring it in the scheme of Mega Charizard X

Going to lunch tomorrow with my friend

I think I'm finally getting used to this zyprexa dose. I'm up and alert in the afternoon.

I climbed a mountain yesterday then took the tram down. Took 5 hours. Been doing a lot of exercise lately to the point where I'm sweating. Gonna go mountain biking tomorrow =]

Went furniture shopping for our new apt.

We are going from 550 sq ft. TO 1100 sq. ft.

1 word...ikea....

Yea theres no IKEA here. Wed have to goto the next nearest one which is 2 hours away. I think we are gonna just get furni from big lots. It's like low price furniture. Big lots is like a thrift grocery store but they also sell furniture and patio etc stuff like that.

Either that or goto Oklahoma for IKEA. But I dont think we can do that. That would be 5 hours away because ikea would be in a big town not these border towns.

I love Big Lots. Used to go to them a lot when I lived in Virginia.

My friend asked me to come over and do some work with her tonight for about an hour and she'd pay me $50. I told her she didn't have to pay me but she is insisting so it looks like I'm going to get $50 tonight. Yeah! Almost makes up for my $90 shoe spree yesterday.

We don't have an IKEA either but we do have a Big Lots.

Hey guys!!!

*ATTENTION ALL ARTISTS*

Theres an art project out of Brooklyn, NY. They send you a sketchbook and you draw or paint or whatever, in it. Send it back. And not only does it goto the Brooklyn Art Library, they also take it with them in popups and art exhibitions around north america.

You can also get your sketchbook digitized. And they will send you an email or a text message when your art is viewed. And you can track the location of it.

Google Brooklyn Art Library

My ankle hurts. Idk if I did something to it or not. I'm in a lot of pain.