Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #851  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 03:40 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
Watched a documentary on Yosemite Valley, so beautiful
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, Sometimes psychotic

advertisement
  #852  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 03:55 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
It's so windy out right now
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster, Sometimes psychotic
  #853  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 04:32 PM
Atypical_Disaster's Avatar
Atypical_Disaster Atypical_Disaster is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Nowhere noteworthy.
Posts: 7,145
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
It's so windy out right now
Here as well. I enjoy windy weather and always have. Unless it is a tornado and it is actually coming towards my house, however. **** that. Lol.
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird
  #854  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 05:24 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster View Post
You, in a very unique way, truly grasp how dangerous this whole situation has wound up being for me. This really does sum up the nature of and gravity of the problem. The effects this has had on me and my life have been catastrophic at this point.

The bias for or against a certain diagnosis is a very real problem that goes unacknowledged and I am glad you mentioned that. Too many of these people over the years have had a nasty habit of ironically seeing what they wanted to see to confirm their bias towards a certain diagnosis (in my case it most frequently bipolar which is just as laughable now as it was a few years ago ... followed by PTSD, ADHD, and some other BS that I no longer remember) as opposed to what was actually present.

What was "interesting" according to them about you? For me it was my "intelligence". I was consistently, to the point of it being a source of never ending irritation, told I was "unusually, highly, exceptionally, and brilliantly intelligent" (quotes used, because these are their words, I would never speak of myself in this way) as a way to imply that I was therefore "too smart to have schizophrenia". While my IQ has been tested and is indeed above average, I caught on immediately to them trying to say I could not be schizophrenic due to my intelligence ... and I always pointed out that an IQ under a certain threshold was notably absent as a diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia and not a deciding factor for the diagnosis regardless. What utter and complete nonsense.

(Anecdotally, I have yet to meet another person with schizophrenia that is truly "stupid". Though, that is a different discussion.)

I also did not appreciate and still to this day find myself vastly unappreciative of the academic shade of intellectual arrogance that litters much of the institution of psychiatry as a whole. They believe they are oh so above it all, when the truth is that as a collective we still know next to nothing about the human brain and the mind. What we know does not translate into true understanding. Knowledge alone is not a virtue. Apologies for the mini rant, this kind of thing is such a pet peeve of mine.
For me it was also about people saying that I'm intelligent just by talking to me. My analytical IQ is tested as higher than 85% of the population (Which is why I was so good at math) and my comprehension IQ was lower (Which is why I struggled with English) but it developed over time after I got psychosis but I'm modest and don't think about it like I'm higher than anyone else like doctors and psychiatrists do with their God complex and ego. Empathy is important and "good qualities" of being a person. People with "bad qualities" are often looked up to as well which is why I'm putting these in quotes. Good can be bad and bad can be good.

It would be cool to have an IQ of 140 like Edward Snowden and be a computer geek to dismantle the US government empire then flee to Russia but what matters to me is quality of life.

With schizophrenia, fluid intelligence drops because of frontal lobe damage and grey matter loss in the brain from the meds or the illness itself. Crystalized intelligence stays intact (All of the things that we know of and can talk about) but with lower fluid intelligence, you can't build as well on your crystalized intelligence. That's why I want to decrease my Invega injection but stay on a low dose to prevent psychosis in the future.

But there's ways to increase intelligence by doing things such as reading and other ways of exercising the mind, physical exercise and spiritual growth or generally having a good life, being confident, etc.. (Because people that are intelligent often have a trait where they have a lot of patience because they trust their abilities - But that doesn't mean that it's proof of that. A lot of intelligent people have no patience). What I've noticed is that there's no real "thing" in reality that you can grasp to be certain of. We're all here on this planet together to agree and disagree on things yet people kill for what they believe in and force it on others.. There's no love..

After I had my first psychosis, I was always told that I'm extremely insightful and it wasn't until I took the overdose of clonazepam by accident as a disinhibited suicide attempt that I went completely full blown psychotic for months. I never knew that it would cause psychosis because no one told me (Maybe it doesn't.. but I'm sure that it did now that the pieces are all coming together - Yet I was told that I should stay on the injection because I always stopped my meds and developed mild psychosis.. Do you see how I was screwed over here?).

Stimulants don't decrease intelligence while you're on them - Yet if you take too much, anyone can go psychotic. They change certain parts of the brain (As does everything in this reality) so long term exposure can cause permanent psychosis unless you stop taking it before it's too late to give the brain time to come out of that crystalized psychosis. So psychosis really has nothing to do with intelligence. "Psychosis" is losing touch with reality and if what scientists say is right (That there's no objective reality), I'm God?. But I don't believe that. There's objective and subjective reality which are both the same at the same time and all. I think that's why religious people think of the holy trinity? Idk I'm just guessing - I never researched into that. But yeah it's just my opinion because not many regular people have had an intense ego death 100 times in one night and no one wants to either.

I believe science finds evidence and it can change based on new evidence. People don't have to agree but in society as a social construct, stupidity is to disagree with "science" and it's true. People are more likely "stupid" when they do. Smart people can do stupid things and stupid people can do smart things and what matters is the opinion that someone has on another or vice versa, what people have on themselves and how people fit into society.

The things that happened to us are not our fault. Some are. Others will have the opinion that the things that are, aren't and the ones that aren't, are. Look at the past.. Nothing we can do about that.. We are destined for a destiny (Unless time travel is possible in our lifetimes - But even then, there's still no free will. In our imagination, we're here in time and space so it exists as an idea).

Is this post psychotic.. I hope not. Don't mind me I'm just talking shite lol (That's how I justify what I say). I'm stupid anyways (It's good to say I'm stupid every once and a while but it's hard... Y'know why? Because all my life, people have called me intelligent.. Even my narcissistic step dad that always put me down.. I admit that he did have a high IQ though which is why he was able to manipulate the crap out of everyone).

And when the IQ is very low, it's like tripping.. to a higher consciousness. Autism could be like tripping in a way with high IQ too.. so yeah..
Hugs from:
Sometimes psychotic
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster, Sometimes psychotic
  #855  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 05:41 PM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
[QUOTE=Desoxyn;6693901
It would be cool to have an IQ of 140 like Edward Snowden and be a computer geek to dismantle the US government empire then flee to Russia but what matters to me is quality of life.

[/QUOTE]
I just saw on the news last night about a 9 year old who is graduating college somewhere in Europe. It took him a year to get through high school and nine months to get through college. And next he is going to medical school. Holy crap! That's smart!
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Thanks for this!
Desoxyn, Sometimes psychotic
  #856  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 05:45 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
We will be shamans
Thanks for this!
SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
  #857  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 05:46 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I just saw on the news last night about a 9 year old who is graduating college somewhere in Europe. It took him a year to get through high school and nine months to get through college. And next he is going to medical school. Holy crap! That's smart!
He must have been a doctor from the future that implanted his brain into a 9 year old
Thanks for this!
SlumberKitty
  #858  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 06:09 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
I'm doing well with the phenibut. Never been so addicted to something before.

GABA!
Hugs from:
Sometimes psychotic
  #859  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 07:11 PM
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
So ready for the weekend to start. 20 more minutes of work. Not that I am actually working.....but y'know. Still have to be here, in my office, in case someone does need me, or I do need to do some work....
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird
  #860  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 07:30 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
Studying Italian again. I have many textbooks and stuff related to the language. I enjoyed taking it in college , I'd like to learn more. I have an Italian copy of Harry Potter and the sorcerers stone, my goal is to be able to read it
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, Sometimes psychotic
  #861  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 08:27 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
I've been eating a lot of vegetables lately
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Sometimes psychotic
  #862  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 08:49 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
Most horrific heartburn I've ever had from my night med

Okay, taking the thorazine on a nearly empty stomach was the stupidest thing I've done in awhile.. it felt like fire was clawing through my chest for about 25 minutes
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type

Last edited by Blue_Bird; Nov 22, 2019 at 09:01 PM.
Hugs from:
Desoxyn, SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
  #863  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 09:00 PM
newtus's Avatar
newtus newtus is offline
The Dopamine Flux
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
I'm having an issue with my cat.

She keeps taking my work keys. I doubt she knows they are for work, but regardless, they are keys and she keeps taking them. If I have them upstairs she takes them downstairs and vice versa. Doesnt matter where they are. She takes them. Almost like shes bringing them to me.

Idk why she does that.
__________________
"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com


Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
  #864  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 09:04 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
I'm having an issue with my cat.

She keeps taking my work keys. I doubt she knows they are for work, but regardless, they are keys and she keeps taking them. If I have them upstairs she takes them downstairs and vice versa. Doesnt matter where they are. She takes them. Almost like shes bringing them to me.

Idk why she does that.
XD.........
  #865  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 09:06 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
I'm thinking of just letting go for a while and just go crazy and do whatever

But the last time I did that I got into dozens of different drugs and almost died. Before that, I was having e-sex with people online.

But I'll try something different this time

Then I'll go back to being serious
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird
  #866  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 09:12 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
It's cuz I have a lot of pain in my mind
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
  #867  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 09:26 PM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
Having a panic attack. Trying to get through it without klonopin.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Desoxyn, SlumberKitty
  #868  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 09:43 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Having a panic attack. Trying to get through it without klonopin.
It will go away no worries =] You'll get through it without taking a klonopin and you'll say "Woo! I did it!"
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, Blue_Bird
  #869  
Old Nov 22, 2019, 09:50 PM
Desoxyn's Avatar
Desoxyn Desoxyn is offline
Metaphysic
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,037
@ Atypical disaster

Roll Call 156
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
  #870  
Old Nov 23, 2019, 01:58 AM
Findingreason's Avatar
Findingreason Findingreason is offline
Resident Queer Girl
Chat Moderator
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Finland
Posts: 3,190
I’m in the psych ward against my will. Meh.
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, falcon09, SlumberKitty
  #871  
Old Nov 23, 2019, 09:28 AM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingreason View Post
I’m in the psych ward against my will. Meh.
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Findingreason, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Findingreason
  #872  
Old Nov 23, 2019, 09:34 AM
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
Violinist
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,912
I made it through the panic attack last night without taking a klonopin
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
Hugs from:
Anonymous40796, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67, Findingreason, newtus, Sometimes psychotic
  #873  
Old Nov 23, 2019, 09:37 AM
newtus's Avatar
newtus newtus is offline
The Dopamine Flux
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
I barely slept at all. Maybe 2 hours. But I needed to come up to the car dealership to get my oil changed. They opened at 7:30am and its 8:30am and the guy said it's already an hour wait and 10 people are ahead of me. Ugh. Maybe because its Saturday and everyone is off from work. But I'm not waiting til next week and they arent open tomorrow. I thought I could wait til 8am in order to get even an hour of sleep.

Oh well. And its freezing cold out. Like in the 30s. I'm exhausted and have black bags under my eyes. It looks really bad. And I still have stuff to do when I get home but I may skirt everything for a few hours to rest. Stuff that shouldn't be skirted, but I'm dead exhausted.

I started my new haldol last night. I suspect me not sleeping might've been cuz my current obsession with my nintendo switch. I was googling "obscure Nintendo switch games" til 4am.

Oh well.
__________________
"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com


Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, SlumberKitty
Thanks for this!
Angelique67
  #874  
Old Nov 23, 2019, 10:25 AM
Sometimes psychotic's Avatar
Sometimes psychotic Sometimes psychotic is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,427
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
I barely slept at all. Maybe 2 hours. But I needed to come up to the car dealership to get my oil changed. They opened at 7:30am and its 8:30am and the guy said it's already an hour wait and 10 people are ahead of me. Ugh. Maybe because its Saturday and everyone is off from work. But I'm not waiting til next week and they arent open tomorrow. I thought I could wait til 8am in order to get even an hour of sleep.

Oh well. And its freezing cold out. Like in the 30s. I'm exhausted and have black bags under my eyes. It looks really bad. And I still have stuff to do when I get home but I may skirt everything for a few hours to rest. Stuff that shouldn't be skirted, but I'm dead exhausted.

I started my new haldol last night. I suspect me not sleeping might've been cuz my current obsession with my nintendo switch. I was googling "obscure Nintendo switch games" til 4am.

Oh well.


Typically the bf makes appointments for oil changes on weekends, they tell him the best time that way.
__________________
Hugs!
Hugs from:
SlumberKitty
  #875  
Old Nov 23, 2019, 10:27 AM
newtus's Avatar
newtus newtus is offline
The Dopamine Flux
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic View Post
Typically the bf makes appointments for oil changes on weekends, they tell him the best time that way.
Yea I did that for 10 years and realized I'm still waiting the same amount of time to get it changed as I was not making an appointment. I always made appointments and I still ended up waiting up to 2 hours at the dealership near where my dad lives. It was a nightmare. So I dont make appts anymore.
__________________
"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com


Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Hugs from:
SlumberKitty, Sometimes psychotic
Reply
Views: 29862

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:21 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.