Roll Call 168 =)

Chutzpah!

Just had the deepest mind rest I've ever had.

My mind was hanging from a cliff and being nice and stretched. I stretched out my mind. I saved brain cells. All of around 3-4 of them. They rested instead of dying.

Edit: - Donald Trump

Dump Trump and his far right radical bs.

You have more than 4, Des. Way more.

Prepare for another civil war. I'll be chewing on ice cubes and drinking psychedelic plants with the natives.

Cannot wait to hear what he says about the empty seats.

Well, you're sounding like my friend I live with. Prepare for war on the front lawn. I had the mind set that trump isn't going to win like he did... now that I know better than to say "it can't get any worse" and not to tolerate the clown that's in office.

Idk hopefully whatever is best for stabilization. People from the past have made discrimination and such a thing - And then people like them enforced it after they died. It's like a trippy connection where it's no ones fault. Cuz I don't think of racists and such as humans - But like non-free will zombies.. Although they say that free will exists.. I think to myself, abortion.. If you chose to not abort, isn't that like claiming pride for nothing - compared to not? Then I think about people having kids.. Noooo.. Don't have kids.. Lets all perish together peacefully.. Then I think "Hey I wanna go to Mars and harness the energy from a star" - Then I realize that there will always be different types of people with variety..

Prepare, not for war, but love for peace.. Positivity, hope.. Optimism..

Thing is.. I am around people who will refuse to vote other than republican and have very closed minded and think minorities are below them. There's too many people out there that think he's doing a great job. What trump does is feed into middle to lower class white people feel like minorities like black and Hispanic are the reason they can't get ahead or get a job... or some reason don't deserve the same rights as other people in this country. I wouldn't be surprise if Trump had more turnouts than what people are believing.

Reading physics at 11:50pm instead of sleeping.

I don't see world peace happening here in our life time if at all.

As long as there are authoritarians in this world, there will be no world peace. This is why it is so important for the rest of us to speak up when we see evil. A free press and the exercise of free speech = freedom. Just my take. If we let the PRC, for example, take over the world, Islam will be outlawed and Christains will be imprisoned and tortured. Freedom is not free. It never has been.

God bless the free world. And God bless the men and women willing to give their lives to protect our ability to speak our hearts and minds.

Usually past 11pm, I think of just zoning out for the night.

There's something really wrong with me. I reward myself with laziness or something when I've either done nothing (Which I say, "Well I tried - My punishment is giving up and trying tomorrow"), or did something and I say, "REWARD..".

I'm a sleep

I believe in the mighty circle. It all goes round and round.

It doesn't matter what I do - I can drag along or something will force/inspire me to take action.

And I don't believe in anything. I don't think I matter against my own will.

And that's probably why people tell me things about life and I'm like "Yeah.. I agree.." and then forget what they've said. But that's why life is the way it is - All structured, making us go against each other or in with groups.

People like stories too. I just have a malfunctioning dopaminergic system.

sounds like disorganized schizophrenia to me?

Yeah too much dopamine. I'm full of everything - Food, sex, desire, moving.. idk

I'm just in a different state right now but one day I'll be better.

Not here to judge. You always have a friend in me.

I just think there's biologically, in society, .. society is benefited by having "warners".. The outsiders.. The looking glass people.. They don't function in society and heal people individually - While the sociopaths become leaders and control everything. How can the schizotype become leaders? Impossible. They don't have the manipulation skills. And the geniuses make inventions (Gates, Einstein, Tesla, Musk, Zuckerberg), the mass of people move towards things.. They're like waves.. We all drop pebbles into the ocean.. To me the ocean is vast and drains my energy deeply..

Just in the last hour, all the colors are too vivid and intense, the sounds too intense and loud. Everything is off, everything weird. Getting paranoid and irritable and a little psychotic--again!!! Just took more Trilafon. Maybe I won't hallucinate like I did yesterday. I hate visual hallucinations. Gonna try to distract with a bad car movie. Maybe that will help me or something.

I am so impulsive with money. I spend way too much on little stupid things. I wish I could get myself in line.

I can't figure out how to have a normal relationship with money....

I give all mine away. Problem solved.

This is sort of a med-related thing -- does clozapine replace all other meds, or can you use clozapine with other meds? I just looked it up and it seems like it interacts with a lot of other meds. I was looking to switch to clozapine because of my impulsive ****. And generally my pdoc has no consensus as to whether the meds I am on are helping.

Not an expert on it, just know my pdoc has considered it before for my stuff. I am pretty sure that, at the end of the day, it is just an atypical antipsychotic, but one that seems to work for many folks when the others do not. Or so I have been told.