Roll Call 173

hi everyone,
hasn't the weather been nice lately, except we could use some rain here in Michigan its bone dry~!!

It's one of my top coping skills too. I always feel better after a walk

You are very kind, erti. I just hope to spread a relatability to people who are marginalized within the mental health system. And that’s usually people with psychosis and other related disorders.

How are you, @Erti

You went to the hospital right

Are you also with the "im not a monster, schizophrenia" facebook group as well? I added that a long time ago. But hey it's nice see someone do well for themselves and instead of being jealous I want to use it as a motivation on being able to do well for myself. It's hard because I've been hospitalized about 30 times since 2009. Im out and I'm lost. My friends kids were taking away. Almost dealt with homelessness when cps took the kids. I miss the kids... I love my friends I live with. We're family... they're my family. Just like I felt with the snapchat group before deleting it off my phones. I make mistakes... but I'm harder on myself than anyone else.

Yes, for like 9 days. I just got released.

I’m not on that group, no. I didn’t know that group was there. I will add it. Definitely use this as motivation to do or become healthier/better. Whichever is pertinent to you at this moment. I’ve been hospitalized 20 times since 2003. Since I was 13. So sorry to hear of all that crappy stuff happening. It hurts im sure. I wouldn’t know, but I can empathize on my part. Keep getting better and keep fighting the good fight.

Thanks chick-a-dee... I mean I try not to complain... my past of abuse, surrounded by drugs, violence I see between my uncles and my mom and beating the **** out of each other. My uncle getting doped out on crack and threatening me with knifes. My moms boyfriend molesting and rape me. My dad and stepmom locking me and my siblings up in bedrooms somtimes a week or so and dirty old food we ate laying around when they didnt feed us or let us out. I struggle with it. I'm afraid of being public with it though because I'm scared how my dad and them would react.... My rape and molestation at least I'm not around them to call me a liar. However last time I heard him he talked to my friend and told my friend "you can't prove it"... which in it's aspect i him admitting that he did.

meh..

My sister said my yoga set was finally delivered. So I'm happy about that. She'll bring it over along with the rest of my stuff Sunday. Looking forward to doing yoga again. It's super good at stress relieving.

Requested some manga from the library.

It's been getting a little cooler here in upstate NY, I'm enjoying it. Easier to take walks in. I can't wait till fall when it really cools off. Then winter and snow! Love cold weather.

Omg I’m so excited for fall!!!

Colored today

I wonder how much weight now. I was at 188 but I think I gained weight.

Where’s sp

W-e-N-t F-O-r a h-I-k-E!! Reached the top of the mountain... I was sweating and out of breath the whole way but I did it.. I ate chocolate before I went and I feel like that made me exhausted going up - But I felt really r-e-f-r-e-s-h-e-d going down... Nice cool August wind blowing..

I'm excited for fall as well. I love the frost in the morning. Fall is my worst time for panic though because the days get shorter - But I think I'll be ok.. It's all in the mind and I can control my mind..

I want a truth
Otherwise I'm gonna panic

I drink coffee literally like all day long. I don't know how to stop doing that. I know it's kind of a stupid thing to complain about. But it seems bad in some way.

I don't know, I guess it doesn't really matter because my night meds knock me out anyway.

I try to be healthy but I guess I'm not really all that healthy... Because of coffee all day long and whatever else I don't do. Zyprexa has already made me gain weight so that's not so cool. But it gets rid of my doubting, which is key.

If you can handle your coffee, drink ONE, - s-t-r-o-n-g cup of coffee in the morning. It will keep you going for the whole day.

The morning is when we're supposed to hunt and have adrenaline pumping.

The problem is, I drink coffee out of pure boredom. So I make many coffees in one day. I feel dysfunctional for doing that. But I'm often so bored that I'll just make a coffee and convince myself I need to have one to feel okay.

I know what you mean. I do the same thing with nicotine gum.

I am going to go write some fiction I think.

Sp has a final exam to work on......

cant sleep

Hugs, Erti.

I did for years, too. Finally switched to tea and just totally lost the desire for java.

anxiety...cant sleep