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  #26  
Old Jul 03, 2021, 02:00 PM
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I went for donuts and smoothies this morning. And I've been studying. Rereading material. Sort of got distracted though in the last hour or so.
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  #27  
Old Jul 03, 2021, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
I got 8 hours of sleep!! Roll Call 186Roll Call 186

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I'm so glad!!!!! Hugs!!!!! Roll Call 186
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  #28  
Old Jul 03, 2021, 04:57 PM
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I'm moving on Wednesday unless some horrible thing happens. It's perfect for me, a view of the back yard, the window bed, only one roommate, it's going to be wonderful.

I'll be very glad to lose the Roll Call 186. And I'm leaving the other person who never met a boundary she respected. She, upped her game into setting up a con game to scam me out of whatever she decides she deserves. I'm hoping she'll drop it. Hope for the best and expect the worst.
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  #29  
Old Jul 03, 2021, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
If I mention schizophrenia negative symptoms to my treatment team, I don't think they offer much help because people think that it's hopeless. So I instead say "ADHD symptoms" and people have all the answers..
A lot of times negative symptoms can almost mirror autism
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  #30  
Old Jul 03, 2021, 05:43 PM
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So they said I had something else, not ptsd but it was similar but milder....and it was from the psychosis itself.

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Some of my psychotic episodes (mainly the one that lasted all year in 2012 and ended up with me getting handcuffed and ankle cuffed taken to a psych ward against my will) have been traumatizing
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  #31  
Old Jul 03, 2021, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
What is everyone up to today? I am just listening to music, drinking coffee, talking to a friend later, and going to a support group.
Gonna go to the store and get some food to cook for dinner
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  #32  
Old Jul 03, 2021, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
What is everyone up to today? I am just listening to music, drinking coffee, talking to a friend later, and going to a support group.
Had to work.......just got home and ate........pizza yum! And tiramisu!
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  #33  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 09:19 AM
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Happy 4th of July! Roll Call 186

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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #34  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 09:32 AM
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Happy 4th of July! Roll Call 186

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Happy fourth...hope everyone can sleep ok with the fireworks 🧨
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  #35  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 02:42 PM
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Got my coconut bubble tea with mango popping boba 🧋Roll Call 186

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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #36  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
A lot of times negative symptoms can almost mirror autism
Well, it's decided. I have now diagnosed myself with autism.

No jk idk
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  #37  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Got my coconut bubble tea with mango popping boba 🧋Roll Call 186

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Yeah, I got boba the other night. It was soo good. I love that stuff.
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  #38  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 07:17 PM
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I plummed the depth of my story a bit too much today. Feeling a bit down to be honest. Listening to soothing music, downloading a light-hearted game. Watched Loki again. Tried to talk to my friend today but I think she's watching fireworks with the fam.

Im making interesting additions to my story... Making it more well-rounded and strange. My ptsd effort helps a bit as well with the story.

I'll never get my emotions back if I keep trying to write like this I bet. I need to bring more love into my stories, friendship too. Happy memories. Its just that it starts out at a place so dark that I have to explore that fully I feel. I did add a new vision of a charact, like the personification of the greek night sky, that has a myriad eyes, looking at my character at the bottom of the well, as he drifts towards it.
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  #39  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 08:51 PM
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I bought some indica so I can start things.

Am I going about this the wrong way? lol..
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  #40  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 08:59 PM
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I think I have an addiction to my cell phone.
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  #41  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 09:01 PM
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Medical causes – unrelenting exhaustion may be a sign of an underlying illness, such as a thyroid disorder, heart disease or diabetes. Lifestyle-related causes – alcohol or drugs or lack of regular exercise can lead to feelings of fatigue. Workplace-related causes – workplace stress can lead to feelings of fatigue.

Symptoms: Irritability
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  #42  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 09:20 PM
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I have very low motivation. I don't know if it's related to the fact that I burned myself out in college or what.
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  #43  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
I have very low motivation. I don't know if it's related to the fact that I burned myself out in college or what.

Eh, nevermind. I am using the pomodoro method to do schoolwork and it's going ok.
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  #44  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 10:07 PM
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Making tofu stir fry with general Tso sauce.

I need to go to the dentist. I’m dreading it though.

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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #45  
Old Jul 04, 2021, 11:15 PM
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I need to keep tryinnggg and be grateful etc
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  #46  
Old Jul 05, 2021, 01:28 PM
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Tried to play a video game but with no mental emotion it's so boring. I downloaded another game called Observation that is suppose to be phenomenal, sci fi. We'll see if it pulls me...
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  #47  
Old Jul 05, 2021, 03:40 PM
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I feel good today. Much better than yesterday ^-; I have more energy.

That night I took a KLONOPIN, ... I woke up exhausted. Benzos suck. Just use for panic..
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  #48  
Old Jul 05, 2021, 03:52 PM
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Having a panic attack
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
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Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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  #49  
Old Jul 05, 2021, 03:52 PM
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I feel good today. Much better than yesterday ^-; I have more energy.

That night I took a KLONOPIN, ... I woke up exhausted. Benzos suck. Just use for panic..
I went my night without a benzo and I woke up a bit early but not groggy at all. So from here on out I'm going to try and stay off benzos (I alreadyy cut my dosage in half, hopefully no withdrawal.)
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  #50  
Old Jul 05, 2021, 03:54 PM
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I'm having a horrible time here. The con artist in my room started a new con a few days ago.

She said I had ordered her candy and gave me money for it. Neither is true. She has a half assed "receipt" in her notebook. She is still coming at me with these circumstances. It's turning my stomach. It also involves her terrible memory, so she keeps calling me Cathy. The memory is ******** too.

Anyway, if she decides she wants to pursue this con, it won't end with my move.

I'm so depressed and agitated I feel sick. But every minute brings me closer to moving which I am really anxious for.

Why do I always seem to get the freaks and their abuse everywhere I go? Do this many people in the world just suck?
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