Roll Call 186

Feeling really hurt and lonely without my little dog. I'm going to go over to my sister's today to watch movies so I won't be alone.

No benzo last night, I couldn't fall asleep, had to take a remeron. I'll try going to bed early tonight to give myself more down time.

Other than that I'm more stable than ever before. If I can get off that benzo then that would be a solid long term cocktail for years to come.

Finished that Ptsd book. Learned a lot but I need to unpack more of my trauma. Maybe I need to write a tree chart of logic and lived experience.

I'm moving tomorrow!!!!! I confirmed it with the SW. I'm not sure about the time, it depends on when the person in there is going home. And I forgot to ask the new room number.

I'll have only one roommate there. Hopefully she'll let me close my curtains. The won't let me touch the curtain in here. So glad I'm going!!! The SW said I should organize my stuff. I don't have anywhere to pack it though. Hopefully they'll move my furniture.

I can't wait!! I have walnuts I can use in it too!!

That's great! Hopefully they'll move your stuff the way you want

I didn't shop or walk today, we had thunderstorms, but tomorrow I'm going grocery shopping and then walking to the library

Sorry, hope you feel better I'm having pms right now and have a major headache.

I’m starting to feel better! Thank you. Stomach still upset a bit.

My seltzer water came today, well 30 cans of it. I still have 60 more cans on the way. They're slim/small, 8.45oz each, that's the perfect size for me. Hopefully this helps get me to drink more water and less sugary drinks. I don't drink soda, hardly ever, it's just the frappes and sugary coffees that are the problem.

My KitchenAide mixer and 2 loaf pans came today as well. I need to wash the loaf pans then dry them. I'll probably make the banana bread sometime early next month because I already plan on making cookies this Friday.

My sister is coming over this weekend. I'm giving her cookies. And we're just gonna hang out in my apartment and she'll help me hang up my curtains in the living room since they fell down (they're on tension rods)

I'm excited about the new Nintendo Switch OLED version coming out, I'm probably gonna try to save money for it since I need to upgrade my current Switch.

Tonight I'm just gonna listen to my favorite Animal Crossing podcast since a new episode came out today, while playing ACNH.

That sounds great!

Lol I always used tension rods for my curtains too, except I actually nailed curtains to the window frames once. That was a very long time ago haha.

You have a lot of great plans, enjoy them all!

I think even going to bed 1-2 hours early messes me up but if the downtime before bed works for you, let me know ^-;

I need to max out my wakefulness for as long as possible before I sleep. I've been getting by now on half of a zopiclone (3.75mg) for 5 days.

Zopiclone isn't a prescription medication in your country but there is Lunesta (Eszopiclone) - It's the more active isomer of zopiclone.

I’m craving BBQ chips, or any salty food really.

Im having annoying pms related mood swings.

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Making a frozen supreme pizza

I think next month for my monthly takeout treat I'll get some fried chicken from that place I get my bubble tea from. Apparently their food is really good, I haven't tried it yet though

I don't have the tools to properly navigate this space ship. I just need to focus.. Focus on the stars.. Get thoughts from other galaxies.. Dexedrines wore off..

What I need to do is read.. Absorb information efficiently.. But I have no concentration mann.. I'm borderline nihilistic and hypomanic.

Audiobooks help......

I finished my first book in 10 years. I can say I’m a reader again now

In bed by 10pm, woke up at 130am, stayed in bed, rolled around a lot, but finally got out of bed and got a coffee and im feeling pretty good, no remeron to help me sleep.

The earlier I go to bed the easier it is for me to sleep. Strange, right? My brain wants to kick into second gear as soon as it can, and it revs up once it hits 11pm, and gets hypo at 12, its a mess as it goes on. I could read so many books at night if I didn't have work in the mornings lol

25 mgs of doxepin and 20 mgs of geodon really help me sleep = )

omg stouffers makes the best supreme pizza, its in their frozen food section, not where the rest of the frozen pizzas are but with their frozen dinner section. My friend calls it pizza toast hahahaha.

Maybe you just need a great book that speaks to you? I went my whole childhood without enjoying reading. A sin! Then I found Enders Game and boom read 5 books in the series and started my journey = )

Some else that helped me are audio lectures on great books' collections. Rufus Fears and Michael Sugrue have excellent audio lectures on excellent books. You can get their lectures for a steal on audible. Their courses use to go for $200 but on there, you can ge a course for 1 credit. You can buy 3 credits for $34 dollars. = ) I grew up listening to their stuff on The teaching company (it became the great courses.) Its nice to hear a 30 minute lecture about a book to see if I'd like it before I invest days in it.

Omg I was prescribed lunesta when I was like 18 and I would get so high off of it

I've read some studies about ginger helping with PMS symptoms esp mood related ones

I grew up reading a LOT which is when I amassed my book collection. But as I got older (and sicker with psychosis) I completely stopped reading altogether. Now with the heavy duty meds it seems impossible