Roll Call 186

Form is form
Emptiness is emptiness
If you cut off all thinking
Your mind is clear like space

was supposed to hear from the clinic monday but didn't....

gonna call early tomorrow

The past few years have felt like one long day..

I cried for 5 or so minutes these things happen sometime

My cat has come to comfort me. I love my cat..

I am now taking 0.75 mg of clonazepam. I hope that is enough where it helps me some with anxiety but doesn't make me so foggy.

FYI amazon is giving away 200 free tokens to read Novellas on Kindle vella right now. My episodes are 6 tokens a piece. The first 3 episodes of any novella are always free tho!

This is the best post I’ve read in a while. hope you’re well.

Wtf is going on with them? That’s wild.

I wanna write a cyberpunk dystopian story lol I do

I just got my 200 free tokens. I read the first episode. I liked it! I am thinking about writing my own now. It's like a more accessible format than a novel, I feel like. I'm not sure though.

Still feeling fragile and vulnerable ugh.

NY bosses are coming over for dinner tonight. I am letting my social anxiety get the better of me! It will be fine. It will be fine. It will be fine.

Still having trouble reconciling my sister's situation. It is making me feel fragile. I see so many minefields for her with this new relationship she is in. But it is my job to be supportive. But I'm having trouble doing so because what she is doing is going against my religious beliefs. (She's still married and is dating--seriously dating another guy. She's only been separated, not legally, since the Wednesday before Easter). My brother-in-law's birthday is coming up. I'm not sure whether to send a card. Send money and a card. Do nothing. Not sure what the etiquette is. My gut says just do what I have normally done which is send money and a card. I had dreams about my sister and the boyfriend. Not good ones either. Very difficult. I feel like I could fall apart.

Thanks! You should definitely write your own! It’s even kind of fun to read on a short form basis. Ables myself to pay attention more.

It’s your sister’s life she can do what she wants with it. You shouldn’t worry so much but just be there if ever she needed help.

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Also I really appreciate you reading one of my episodes that means a lot to me!

I little anxious this morning but I journaled some and am feeling better.

My family is pushing me to go ahead and get another dog, or at least shop for one now. I'm not feeling ready for that though. But I may never feel ready as I will always miss Lily.

It's Wednesday and our usual family get together. I may go over early again like I've been doing lately. It's soothing as I get lonely here (with Lily gone).

Hope everyone has a peaceful day.

I am going to use the treadmill today to run. I haven't done that in a few days and I want to.

I admire you. I hate running.

I feel like crap, y'all.

What's wrong?

Ditto SK......ditto.....

The more I think about it and try to get into dating apps the more I think I’m not attracted to men.

Like some kind of non-binary lesbian lmao.

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HUGS SP, Hugs.

I don't know.....life in general!