Roll Call 186

Deep breaths and some good music. I hope you'll feel better soon.

I have a compulsion where I focus on one deep in-breath 1-3 times whenever I think about depersonalization/derealization to prevent panic. I do it a few times a day. I also do it whenever I have psychosis-seeding thought. It works =]

Thanks guys, I listened to a podcast and played Pokémon for awhile so now I’m feeling better.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m sorry about everything going on where you live Angelique

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m craving a big juicy burger with fries. Not from McDonalds. But from a restaurant. That would be so good right now.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I think I'm pretty normal now

My little dog died over the weekend, sometime Saturday night or Sunday morning. I'm devastated. (I'd have put a trigger warning but I don't know how.)

Back home from vacation. Was good.

Soooo fckn tired tho. 8 hr drive. 16 hrs total back and forth.

My new thing is drinking and drawing.

At pizza
Gonna have a few drinks and draw and goto bed

Not preg again. Period came yesterday unfortunately.

I'm so sorry for you're loss

So sorry

Sorry for your loss.......

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Sorry for your loss.

I'm gonna try making banana bread sometime this month. I bought a 5-speed KitchenAid hand mixer so I can finally do it

I feel stupid for contacting my psychiatrist today and telling him that I need more Klonopin. I only take 1.5 mg. I mean it's not a ridiculously high amount or anything. He prescribed it. I feel like I just get so incredibly anxious without it that it's not worth the pain. For clarification's sake I don't take more than he prescribed. I am proposing I stay on 1.5 mg of Klonopin and he wants me to go down on it. I don't know how he'll react. I'm scared he'll get mad. I also contacted other psychiatrists today. I feel ridiculously stupid for that. Also I know that people lose their patience with me pretty easily. I feel like my psychiatrist and I aren't a good fit. What a thing to realize after 7 years of working together! I feel like I wasted those years. My anxiety has been so bad in the past. And we did nothing about it! I just was so anxious. And nothing got me through it except gritting my teeth. Now I feel like with the Klonopin I can at least be myself. Is this wrong to think?

Could you change psychiatrists?

I was looking at chamomile extract and pills but there doesn't seem to be much reviews on Amazon.

Chamomile tea is great. My mom used to make it for me when my heart was beating too fast.. + A lorazepam. I took a 0.25mg clonazepam because my mind felt cooked with a little objective psychosis about the world/conspiracies but it made me tired so I lied down for a while.

I think chamomile tea really helps with dissociation. I think cuz the main chemical in it is "apigenin" - "Apigenin-treated mice showed improved memory, learning, and activity of the brain cell-birth BDNF pathway"

What I need to do I think is increase BDNF in my brain.. I might look at nootropics for that. I feel like my mind is in decay. I feel much more spiritually inclined when I research about herbal plants etc..

Chamomile tea feels like I'm in a meditative state - The cup being hot to the touch (And cold feelings) can help with dissociation because it focuses your awareness -

Banana bread is so easy and uses up all those leftover bananas so well....wait until the bananas are spotty.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

My mom telling me she hears voices oh lord

I feel like shyt. On my period sorry tmi. Blegh feel like crap

If you’re one of those people that can keep these dose at 1.5 you’re probably OK. Problem with Benzos is tolerance.....for most people eventually 1.5 won’t be enough they’ll feel terrible anxious on 1.5.....they’ll need more and a reduction is a nightmare.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Thank you, Blue_Bird. I'm moving tomorrow and I can't wait. I'm worried though that they're going to dump all my drawers into trash bags. I hope they won't. I hope they'll just move my furniture with all the drawers full.

I'm really glad you got over the panic attack last night. Are you going shopping or for a walk today? Hugs!

I'm very sorry. It's very hard to lose a furry member of the family.

One more week then I'll start getting my full paychecks weekly and I can pay people back for helping me thru the rough times.

I ended up getting another deposit on my EBT so I had like $400+ dollars. I visited my mom and sister for the 4th and mom and me went to this pricey grocery store and I let mom buy a bunch of stuff. I can't spend all that money by myself.

Now I have a lot of food in my kitchen and its making me anxious because I don't want it to waste. But lately I've been eating very little and eating 1x a day mainly in the evening

I don't know if it's stress or what

I've been a little preoccupied with my weight which isn't good so I need to nip that in the bud. I've been in remission from my eating disorder for years

I hope everything will go well with my move. It's tomorrow! I hope everything will be all right with the new roommate.

I hope everyone is ok. It's been very nice out all this summer so far.