Roll Call 186

Grieving the loss of my dog. I spent most of yesterday at my sisters binge watching Marvel movies. It was the perfect way to spend the day under the circumstances. Got home a little before 10pm and went to bed about 10:30.
Today I'll go over to my folk's place early so I'm not alone for most of the day. I just feel so lonely and lost.

Sorry for your loss.

I feel like I’m absorbing the negativity of everyone around me...it’s making me super irritated. I’ve tried drawing etc. I’ve never found a cure for irritation tbh.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

(for me) venting to someone helps. just getting it all out. But I struggle with letting go of anger. It kinda just gets in a loop in my mind. take care of yourself

Yeah I think normally I would get everything out to my mom but there isn’t anyone I can vent to really now. Bf was super irritating....sometimes he’ll basically say no no no to me and then pretend he’s joking but he’s actually irritated by something like me chewing gum or something. I’ve told him I chew gum because my teeth are broken in the front so I don’t want to break more by clenching my jaw. Beyond my control really. It just super irritated me though. Like allow me to be human already.

Are you referring to the supreme French bread pizzas? I love those!

Thank you, I'll look into that

So So sorry for you. It's hard losing a loved one even if the loved one is a pet. I'm still grieving the loss of my Esther (cat) from May. HUGS HUGS HUGS Kit

HUGS SP, so sorry you are feeling irritated. I hate that feeling.

My Case Manager said she doesn't feel comfortable discharging me yet because of the frequency of my suicidal thoughts. I think I am doing better with them really. I have a lot more tools than I used to have. I'll have to tell her that next time. I don't think I am depressed as I was. I don't know. The depression hits out of nowhere. It's nice to have the Case Manager's support but it's really just support and not help. Can't wait to see T, Dr. K on the 19th. I feel like I need to talk through some stuff.

Disneyland was super fun y'all. And the Disneyland Hotel was really nice. So Cal has this promo going for Disneyland where you can get three days for $249 and you don't have to take the days consecutively! So I am going to go once in August and twice in September because you have to use it by September 30. I'm excited!

I like french bread pizza in general but it's not on my "lifestyle change" bleh.

So tired yesterday I slept for 16+ hours without zopiclone. My mom wanted to go hiking but I just want to relax today. I feel brain fog for some reason.

I have to prepare for the second moderna shot.

Yooo

So the Kindle Vella program is coming out next week! Who’s all checking out mah novella?!

It looks like all my cash is gone. And I'm afraid to go look for my jewelry because I may not have it anymore.

Can't find my headphones. My friend zipped over with a phone charger, and will order new headphones from Amazon.

Meanwhile, my new roommate seems very nice. She's been out of the room all day. I'll offer her a snack bag later if there's a chance.

SP, have you ever tried chamomile tea for irritation? It might help. It helps me.

HUGS Angelique

My head feels very wired. I hate moving, but I had to.

Thanks Kit!!!

Sorry to hear that

My goodness so sorry

Thank you newtus!!!!! I'm waiting for a moment I feel either bold or lucky to look for the jewelry. I have no idea what happened with some of my candy here. A 3 pound bag is gone.

Yes us benzo people like chamomile tea =]

Even the smell of it is nice. I used to make chamomile tea for my friend all the time when we were living together.

What I’d do is being alone for a bit. Unless you have people who are cheerful and positive at the moment. Make sure you cover your basic human needs too, get enough sleep, eat enough food, etc. I’d stay away from the bf for a bit because he seems to irritate you at the moment. Take a solo picnic at the park? Bring your food and your travel painting kit I hope you feel better soon