Roll Call 186

I talked with my mom and she put my sister on the phone. I feel much better.. I just needed to talk...

Work tomorrow..

I went for a walk around the block before sleep and listened to good songs.. Life is a beautiful thing but satan (Suicide) wants to kill me and take my soul. I can't let it =/

I got some sleep last night, 6 hours 50 minutes. But I had to take 2 klonopin to get it. So I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow and see if she can increase my thorazine back to 400mg so I don't have to rely on klonopin to sleep which I absolutely do not want to do

I don't want to jinx myself because I've only been up an hour and a half but I feel better physically, I'm not coughing today so far like I was all day the past few days. And my eyes are not glassy and bloodshot anymore

Edit: Spoke to soon, coughing again a lot

I have things I need to do and exercise but I'm exhausted even though I slept and coughing so much. It's interfering with my plans to be productive. I feel like I'm being lazy. I hope robitussin is safe to take with my meds

Have you been tested for covid?

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No I haven't, I just started getting sick Friday, my doctors office isn't open

I'll see if my sister can take me through a drive through testing site this coming week

Edit: The pharmacy is open at the cvs near her today even though it's sunday?? Which I thought the pharmacy/minute clinics was closed on sundays? Anyway, I sent her a message asking her to take me to get tested today if possible

Actually, nvm, there are no CVS minute clinics near me

Edit: There's a drive through testing site at a CVS, it's fairly close by car and if my sister can she'll take me

If my sister can't take me today then I'll ask my care manager tomorrow to help arrange some way for me to be tested, idk how this is going to work though, whoever drives me is going to be exposing themselves if my test comes back positive

I'm hoping once I'm in vocational rehabilitation I can get a part-time job stocking items somewhere. I've been thinking about it, It would keep me on my feet the whole time, I need more physical activity, and I wouldn't have a ton of interacting with people, there would be some of course, but not an overwhelming amount that I couldn't handle. I think that would be a good type of job for me

My sister said I don’t need to get tested since I’m vaccinated and it will just be mild if I even do have it so I’m just going to take some robitussin I guess and stay home. If it gets worse or doesn’t go away in another week I’ll talk to my doctor

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She dropped off some Nyquil, dayquil, mucinex, and a bottle of robitussin so I can take whichever one will help me most , I just took a dose of robitussin

Going in bright and early tomorrow to hear the baby’s heartbeat

Are you on abilify? I know NyQuil doesn’t mix with that but DayQuil is fine.....

Yeah I am on abilify, thanks, I won’t take the NyQuil then.

I feel much better today. I listened to podcasts throughout most of the time I was working this morning. Staying away from alcohol..

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I was super confused yesterday. Realized I shouldn't resist those emotions as it just makes them worse.

I also kinda feel bad because I asked for a higher rate in the middle of a translation project, the lady said no, and I was shaming myself for doing it.

I'm gonna try and meditate for a while before I read/listen to podcasts instead of smoking weed. I'm just not sure if I'm meditating properly. I keep having to research it.

Being in distress last night made me realize that I want to live. Maybe I drank the alcohol so I could feel like that on purpose because every time something bad happens to me emotionally or thought wise, I feel much better afterwards.

Crap I had deja vu again while I posted here. Idk if it happened before or if it's happening now.

God I'm so excited, anxious and paralyzed at the same time

My 3rd cousin I discovered through the 23andMe ancestry DNA test sent me a message. I have no clue who she is since we're so distantly related but she is trying to find information for her family tree. and was wondering how we were connected. I have no clue, I never met my grandparents on either side of my family. On my mom's side they died before I was born and I only know one of their names, on my father's side, well he wasn't in my life, left when I was a few months old. so I never actually spent any time with my grandparents on that side, though I have my grandmother from his side and him as friends on Facebook. I don't know my grandfather's name from that side. He died a long time ago I guess.

Anyway, I am glad I did the DNA test, the results were interesting, and it's also interesting getting notifications of new relatives discovered who just joined/did the test themselves.

We share a pair of great great Grandparents

My fall setup so far haha but I got sunflowers

Beautiful...I’m already setting up Halloween in acnh.......

I’m reading about climate change and how global crop failures are expected to happen in the next few years, billions dying in the next 20 , and earth being completely inhabitable by 2075. It’s making me anxious. I’d be in my early 80’s by then.

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Ugh I’m craving a cappuccino but I already had one earlier today. Too many calories. Or edible peanut butter cookie dough for one

The robitussin didn’t help my cough. So I guess I’ll take some DayQuil tomorrow and see how that goes

Edit/m: I had that edible peanut butter cookie dough. It was so good but now I feel guilty about eating it.

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