Roll Call 186

Hugs SK......

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Thanks SP!

Ah, isn't medical bureaucracy fun! No, just kidding. Sorry that it's such a pain.

Ah yes

A nice strong coffee

It's so dang hot

Waiting for my sunflowers to come out a little more. Plus won this makeup bag in the claw machine game.

Very sick today. Nausea, throwing up and headache.

That is what I need about now. I have been working on a project literally all day.

I have the pre-inspection in my apartment Monday or Tuesday, then the actual code enforcement inspection is on Friday the 20th. Only like 8 random apartments are chosen for the code enforcement inspection. They didn't do mine last time so I'm wondering if I'll get it this time. There's like 50ish apartments in the building. I'm so stressed that I'm panicking and feel like crying and stress eating, I get so paranoid over this, I can't deal with it.

Maybe I should take one of my klonopin, It's been 13 days since I've taken one, so I don't know if that's too soon or not. Idk. Whatever. I seriously need to calm down

Kind of living in an existential nightmare right now. I definitely have trouble with existential thoughts. I don't like feeling this way.

I took a klonopin. I’m not drinking coffee for the next week until all this inspection stuff is over. I’ll drink decaf but that’s it. Then after Friday I’ll celebrate it being over with a cappuccino. Sorry I know all this sounds stupid.

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I’ve had a really bad cough the past 2 days.

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I fixed my existential nightmare. I used a coloring book. It seriously helps.

I have a bunch of coloring books. Coloring is very therapeutic.

I did some yoga then a 20 minute guided meditation for stress and anxiety/decluttering your mind, that plus the klonopin, plus the pumpkin patch scented wax I'm melting has helped a lot

From now on I think all I can post is horrors

No nvm but I'm severely lacking motivation. I don't get DP/DR anymore but the philosophy that nothing is real is still there. Like a glass wall between me and everything else.

I've been emotionally overeating/binge eating due to some stress lately. I'm trying to incorporate meditation/yoga/prayer into my life so I can learn to sit with my emotions and not try to make my self "feel better" with food." It's called urge surfing. I want to have a healthier body, even more than losing weight. I need to start taking better care of myself. Drinking more water, actually eating vegetables, less sugar and junk food, less caffeine (use it more strategically) , walking more/being more active. Like walking outside and also on the treadmill, and doing reps with weights, resistance band exercises. Taking care of my mental health by cutting down on screen time and spending more time on productive hobbies like practicing ukulele, reading and learning, exploring the outside world, getting dental checkups, physicals.

Oh yeah, forgot to add, hygiene and sleep (I can't sleep right now tonight because I'm coughing my head off)

I need to work on myself over the next year, a little at a time

I have a bad habit of restricting when I'm trying to lose weight due to my ED from the past. And it always backfires, either I end up sick/in the hospital or I end up bingeing.

I feel better after olanzepine.. the poison..

I have so much excitement. I can't contain =]

I walked to CVS to pick up my meds and get a bunch of groceries, the heat index is 90 degrees, I walked back home for a mile entirely up a very steep hill carrying all that stuff.. I felt like I was gonna die or have a heat stroke, I had to keep taking breaks, setting my bags down and standing there catching my breath. Glad to be home in the AC now

I plan on getting in much better shape.

Oh yeah, I'm off perphenazine now (with my doctor's permission), I still have it in case I need it but I stopped it last night. So we'll see how that goes. I'm doing pretty well on the abilify injections and thorazine so I feel like I probably will be okay off of it. Plus I don't want to be on 3 APs, for health reasons.

I woke up this morning at 6am, had some coffee, listened to my Bible study podcast, read a little of the yoga book I got for free for my Kindle, then read a little bit of another book. It was peaceful. Then I washed my face with a facial cleanser, put on a moisturizer/sunscreen combo, got dressed, then fell asleep for about 30-40 minutes. Then I did my CVS trip, since my insurance suddenly will no longer cover sending prescriptions in the mail like I was getting for the past year.

I'm so ecstatic that I'll be getting a cat soon. I miss having one so much, I miss my kitties. I've been looking at litterboxes, food/water dishes, cat toys, cat beds, scratching posts, etc online. I'll probably buy the essentials sometime next month

I opened my window blinds for like the first time since moving here. I'm always paranoid that people are watching me., (even though I'm on the 3rd floor) and I like staying in my safe little cave I've created for myself but I know natural light is good for you

Anyone ever had watermelon mixed with pineapple? It might have a name, I'm not sure. My coworker brought some back from San Jose, CA and gave me two sandwich size baggies of it. It's yellow like pineapple, but it tastes like watermelon. Mind boggling! It's good though! Now how to I count this on Noom....as watermelon or as pineapple?

I’m ready for this appt Monday. I’ve been so dang sick and throwing up etc. Blah