Roll Call 187

Prioritize quality of life over drops in intelligence quotients!

I didn't want to wake up today.. I didn't want to sleep either

I’ve been curled up in bed in a ball all day I’m like so nauseous

Security just came to check on everybody, my neighbor is setting off the smoke alarm yet again and has a bunch of smoke coming out of his apartment. He does this all the time, it's so annoying. A few times it triggered the actual fire alarm and we had to evacuate while waiting for the fire department to come and check things out/clear the smoke out of his apartment.

I'm gonna use coffee as my reward tomorrow to motivate me. I can't have a cup until I walk to CVS to pick up my meds, get on the treadmill for 30 minutes at least, and get some cleaning done.

I might be seeing my friend on Saturday, depending on what time he wakes up. Then my sister is coming over Sunday, so yay!!! I get some social interaction, I know I'll feel a lot better after that, it's been too long isolated in my bedroom alone

I thought of this.. Using reward chemicals.. Joe Rogan does it with weed. Most people just smoke all day and get nothing done - But he exercises etc does all of the things first.. Then weed is the reward.

My mom does this too but with alcohol. It's actually amazing how she does it.. She's so incredibly busy during the day and then relaxes with wine at the end of every day...

I hope I die as a good person who fulfilled her duty in this life..

Same here. I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately and I hope my life will have meant at least something

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I’m struggling right now. I’m massively addicted to sugar and am trying to cut way back. It’s hard. I’m laying here thinking about how bad I want something sugary right now.

I just have to push through it. It should get easier after awhile right??

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I do too. I been thinking about death a lot too since fiancé’s mom fell and had to get stitches and staples in her face and head.

I’m debating coming off Thorazine. I take 200mg to sleep but I don’t want to be on 3 APs, I feel like that’s a lot. But I always get weird side effects whenever I try to cut down/get off any of them

Is anyone else on 3 APs?? Any tips? Am I on too much medication? I’m not having side effects from what I’m on.

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Ugh I just had to eat something quickly because I felt weird. I keep going back and forth between not eating anywhere near enough then bingeing and back again.

I need to talk to my therapist about this when we talk next week. My ED is becoming a problem again.

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That's better than nothing! I'm okay, I guess.

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Happy birthday newtus!

Happy birthday Newtus!! Hope it will be a wonderful year!

My rancid candy isn't really bad at all. My friend came to drop off some stuff I needed on Tuesday and he actually came to my room while I was napping. A staff member woke me up to see him and I have only a faint memory of seeing my friend. It's like I dreamed it.

Happy Birthday newtus! I hope this year is awesome for you!

The IOP called me. They said they want me to do an in person (not virtual) IOP because of the hallucinations. But theirs is too far away. So their referral team is going to reach out to me in 24 to 48 hours to see what they find. I doubt they find anything close to me that will work. I live in a remote area. We have one hospital that is leaving us within the next couple of years (It isn't earthquake safe). And everything else is like an hour and a half away one way. So it looks like an IOP won't work. I'm kind of disappointed. I was hoping to have more care.

Happy birthday Newtus!

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It sucks that they want to discriminate and not provide virtual care because of your MI hallucinations...people are so biased against that.

Thanks so much guys!!!!!!!

That’s so horrible. I’m so sorry.

So I just missed a therapy appointment because I was painting....doh! I feel like an Idiot but I just don’t get my normal level of anxiety about online appointments so I forget entirely.

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Is that not therapy in itself?

It’s true and I’m doing super well right now so that contributed to it....like it’s one thing to have a desperate need and be awaiting it and another to just do it as a placeholder.

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