Roll Call 190

Good Morning Everyone

I meditated for 30 minutes last night and it helped my anxiety and also helped me fall asleep, I'm going to start doing that and yoga regularly again

I wish I could talk with my therapist. I think I'm falling into depression. He's booked up though, and its my fault bc i didn't answer his call in December. Now it's February and still haven't talked. Haven't seen him in person in 2 years. I've been working with him for 12 years. I hope he's not ghosting me =[

Could you find another T?

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Major rain storm coming in this afternoon followed by freezing rain and then snow tomorrow. Decided just to instacart before the storm rather than braving it tonight when bf is off work.

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Fastest instacart ever….less than 30 min, usually it takes a couple of hours ….

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I just can't tolerate the withdrawals from Klonopin. It's as if I give up super quickly. I made it most of the day yesterday, then I gave in.

Nvm, I can handle it. I am doing it today. No ifs ands or buts.

It's supposed to snow here, too. Hopefully not too much. I have a job interview tomorrow.

no. its very hard for me to find a new therapist because of beings sexually exploited and abused by my former one. i dont want to find a new T

if he ghosts me like this after 12 years i swear to god ill set his house on fire

Have you ever considered a straight female T? Just until you can see old T?

JunkDNA are you sure you didn’t ghost him….do you have an appointment set up?

i did ghost him but now hes ghosting me back in retaliation , i just know it. what if i die and he just never will know. like is he ok with that??????????? guess so.

no cuz honestly theres so much backstory to have to go thru to explain current things and situations. i just wish hed find time to call me

i cant get an appt cuz his "caseload is full"

Hugs JDNA….I know you have a special relationship with your T.

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I'm introverted



I no.1 thing would love to make a podcast.. But I must build objective knowledge first.. + More life experience.. By reading books, listening to more podcasts, etc.

I will likely write books in my 30's/40's.. That's my plan.. I'm just 1Mx better at writing than I am at talking - Although it's getting better =]

Give or take a few years and I'll be more stable/less disorganized thoughts (Cuz of brain plasticity). My brain decayed in high school from isolation = Schiz. Need to bring it back..

Looking up foods that help improve mood.

Something interesting I found:
"A study in 72 people found that both caffeinated and decaffeinated coffee significantly improved mood compared with a placebo beverage, suggesting that coffee contains other compounds that influence mood"
It's strange to hear that decaffeinated can have the same effect with improving mood as caffeinated

Dark chocolate, whole grains (oatmeal, brown rice..) , fruit (especially bananas and berries), vegetables (dark leafy greens especially), nuts/seeds, fermented foods (kefir, yogurt, kimchi, etc), beans, green tea, turkey, eggs, sweet potatoes, fish (such as salmon) etc

Going to try to make my diet consist of most of that stuff

Went skiing today - Probably one of my best skiing days ever! I'm getting really good at it ^-

Only 1/2g of phenibut

I was reading on my tablet-phone in the car on the way up the hill and on the way down.. My focus is like a laser.. (Compared to how it used to be).

All meds be good etc.. No psychosis symptoms from prolonging the Invega shot. No dissociation.

So far so good..

BB!!

This is very good to read (Will take 10+ minutes) but it helped me too;

12 (Stoic) Rules For Life: An Ancient Guide to the Good Life

It's an article about Stoic philosophy. Great for anxiety.

Thank you! I really enjoyed that. I have the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius on my Kindle. I still need to get around to reading it

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I feel kinda like I should go off all my meds. I think it's a decent desire to have. And I would be okay.

Man organic berry gummies from aldi are excellent.

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I think given the choice none of us would be on meds and yet we are….in my case I have a great fear I would do something irreversible while psychotic…for example when I was I thought someone else was the devil and wanted to frame them with the police in order to save the world and yet they were not the devil

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