Roll Call 191

Good vibes your way my friend

Have to agree…when we grill it’s always thighs because they are so much easier….

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Delicious

Nothing beats chocolate and peanut butter!

For my 30 days no self harm, my Dad is bringing me some Ono Hawaiian Barbecue for lunch. Yum. I'm going to have barbeque beef, sticky rice, veggies, and macaroni salad! I can't wait. And a coworker got me a Dutch Bros coffee today!

The Lybalvi which is a mix of Olanzapine and samidorphan I started taking it yesterday. It makes me feel very dissociated. Is that the samidorphan? I didn't have this problem with Olanzapine. Olanzapine would make me feel calm but this is like out of my gourd.

I'm sorry to report, but it made me feel similar (the Lybalvi).

I regularly take olanzapine and was put on Lybalvi several months ago.

Unfortunately it made me feel similar.

I blame it on the samidorphan.

Then again, I would ask my doctor first before just outright stopping it.

Also I hate polypharmacy. Just saying. Why can't things be simpler!

Omg…stupid healthcare….hospital they assigned me to go to won’t take me for ultrasound….just probably going to wait for the ob/gyn next week because they do ultrasound all the time they must know where I can go. I mean I called the Insurance but the nearest one according them them is like an hour away in a not great area. Hopefully I don’t die but I guess I’m allowed to goto the er if things get bad. Sorry drama I know but sometimes….

Thank you WA!

HUGS SP!

Having a cup of that caramel black tea

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Must have gotten your delivery?

Sounds delicious!

I am eating some goldfish crackers.

Went for a walk and a small hike - Nice sunny Spring day.

Yup it's good

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I wish psychiatric meds were easier. I decided to cold-turkey the Klonopin and Just go on some Xanax I had. I feel better so far. Going to suggest the idea to my doctor tomorrow.

It's actually the Xanax XR. I just feel like I know so much more than the doctors about meds and stuff because I've had to live it. It's kind of ridiculous. I am a good advocate for myself only when I am feeling better. Otherwise it's the doctors' prerogative to get me well. And I cannot trust doctors' opinions 100%.

So it's always this give and take relationship. It gets uncomfortable sometimes. That's why I switched doctors recently.

Also, I feel like no one is 100% perfect.

And lastly, I feel like since I know myself best, I have to advocate wholeheartedly for what I want. It is my life and I will take control over it. It's like the Stoics say, kind of. The judgments that are your own, you must own.

Anyway, that is all for now.

I feel like I could write a novel detailing my experiences with the psychiatric system. Just saying...

Thank you, Blue_Bird! I'm just catching up with some of the posts I missed. I'm not sure what's up with me lately. I'm expecting spring so it's weird to go outside and have these wind blasts and cold air lol.

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I finished coloring one of the pictures for the coloring contest

I think we’ve got a winner

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The picture is beautiful. Are these with crayola color pencils? I have my Prismacolor pencils here. Keep meaning to start.

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Thank you, yes with Crayola, I used to have Prismacolor but don't have them anymore, those are really good colored pencils

I remember going into Manhattan to buy colored pencils, it was fun! I had maybe 6 Sharpies too, and I colored a deck of tarot cards with them. It was like a glossy cardboard finish and I couldn't use pencils on it at all. I really have to start coloring, it's so relaxing.

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emptiness...

I need to exercise more and ditch these antipsychotics (Maybe not the olanzepine). Damn it all.