Roll Call 193

Yesterday my stomach was bothering me a whole lot. I think, now, I was just constipated! I usually have the other problem, not that one, so it was weird. My stomach feels mostly better today though.

What's everyone up to today? I just had lunch with my coworkers for the May birthday's. We had catered sandwiches and chips. We will have dessert at 2 o'clock break. I'm kind of bored right now. I should have brought my voting stuff to look at or something. I haven't even cracked open the ballot! EEK.

My big bosses are coming next week and the week after. I hope I have more stuff to do then because my days have not been filled with much work stuff, let me tell you. It's hard to look busy for hours on end.

I gotta get a shower tonight. Wednesdays and Sundays are my shower days. I don't feel like it though but I know I will regret it if I don't do it tonight and make myself do it in the morning.

Got some homework done….got groceries delivered….it was supposed to be stormy but so far it’s farther north….

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I'm tired this morning. I don't know why. I got enough sleep. I had trouble waking up. Then I had to force myself to get a shower. I didn't get one last night so I really needed to get one this morning. That kind of helped. Then I ate breakfast and came to work. As usual, work looks like it is going to be boring today. I am waiting to pay bills. I have to forward the bills to our controller and then she says whether or not I can pay them, then I input them into Chase and then she approves them. So, that will be something anyway. I brought a book today and two letters that I need to respond to, so I should have something to do.

I have such a busy Saturday and Sunday with Church Activities, so I am so happy that I have Memorial Day off of work! I can at least kick back and relax then.

I hope everyone is doing well. It's been so quiet here the past few days!

I've been reading and researching lots of articles about how to live on half of your take home pay. My goal is to do this and to donate the other half of my take home pay. I live on about 64% of my take home pay now, but I would need to cut about $300 more from my monthly budget to get to 50% and then I still need to put some money into savings so I'm not sure how to do that and donate half of my take home pay. I figure I might be able to do this in 3 to 5 years if I am strict and disciplined enough to not take on any more debt and to pay off all credit cards, etc. Of course in three to five years I would be making more money, hopefully, so I wouldn't have to shave as much as $300 off. I hope. I've been reading this book called Giving is the Good Life: The Unexpected Path to Purpose and Joy by Randy Alcorn and it is inspiring me to try to get there, to the 50% mark. I know it sounds kind of crazy but I have a charity that I am passionate about and I donate quite a bit of my money to, and I would like to be able to do this. It's just going to take some work to get there.

The arthritis in my hands has been bothering me quite a bit today. I keep bending and stretching my fingers to try to find relief but nope, they still hurt. My shoulder is hurting too. It's the side that I sleep on so I might have slept funny. I am a side sleeper. I keep trying to stretch that as well but without a lot of success. I might take some Ibuprofen when I get home and see if that helps anything.

Good evening, people. I had been travelling for the past two weeks or so, that's why I wasn't on.

I saw my therapist today and she thinks I never had psychosis. Like what? That one kind of blindsided me.

To be fair though, I didn't describe it in much detail. Also I have never had hallucinations.

You're so kind @Kit + a genuine caring and loving person <3

I wish that most people were like this - And it makes me think.. It's not that greed would prevail but actually that greedy people wouldn't have power..

What criteria did you meet? It’s rare not to have hallucinations with sz….

I met the criteria of having delusions I guess. Because I thought people could read my mind. But the strange thing is that I had insight into the fact that something was wrong. I also think I had paranoia. My therapist was basically saying she can't be 100% sure (obviously, because who can) but she thinks I just have extreme social anxiety. I don't think she's trying to contradict my psychiatrist or anything like that. Regardless, I know the experience I had (and still have to some degree) is and was extremely distressing and I need treatment for it. So I'm not sure where that puts me in terms of what meds to take. Of course, I'm not going to change anything on my own, but I might bring up the idea that I may not have SZ with my psychiatrist. I am diagnosed schizoaffective anyway. But still. That requires psychosis as a diagnosis. And if I don't have psychosis, that means the treatment might be different (I am pretty sure). Anyway.

Yeah delusions is the other possibility but supposedly you can also have delusional disorder if the delusions could really happen. So being followed by the fbi is delusional disorder and telepathically speaking with another galaxy is sz. Either way you’re right it’s psychosis and treatable with the same meds.

Yeah, since I've had significant depressions (like really extreme depressions) I am pretty sure I am schizoaffective. This is a relatively new therapist as well. I might go back to my old therapist because of this.

Lovely to see you back, WA. You were missed!

Today we are firing someone at work. Well not really we, but management is. I prepared his final checks. I just feel bad for the guy. I don't work directly with him but he always seemed like a nice guy and I know he isn't going to have seen this coming. This company doesn't really do progressive discipline. It's like one day you are here and the next day you aren't. It does cause me some anxiety at times but I try not to worry about it. I've been here almost 6 years so far and I haven't been fired yet. I'm going to be anxious all day and it isn't even me that has to have the termination discussion with him.

It is going to be a very long day at work I think. They are all long days but this one is feeling especially long. Probably because of the long weekend coming up.

We did get to watch a video in our morning meeting of one of our machines in use. That's pretty cool. While we often get to see the final product we don't often to get see it being used for it's specific purpose. So that was nice. It was like a 14 minute video too!

Yikes, I got up before 2:30 am my time here today, and I feel fine so far, which is weird. But I'm going to get some quality sleep tonight I think.

Wow that is early! I got up at 3:30 AM but I usually get up at 4 AM. I go to bed early as well. My work starts at 7 AM.

Yeah I didn't intend on getting up that early but I think it's because I'm jet lagged.