Roll Call 197

Also I have not been sleeping well down here. I don't know what it is. Maybe being off of the olanzapine?

I feel kind of bad tonight. Like really agitated and irritable

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That sounds really good

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Trigger for women’s health stuff in case anyone wants to skip reading this post



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Good day today =]

I'm not sure what I'm doing but it's okay =]

Reorientating my mind, life, soul, heart, etc

Things are very clear and feelings, intuition.

Intuition is updated... Every day, my subconscious tells me stuff... I follow the right things..

Ok, when I finish listening to a few more songs + done chewing 8mg of nicotine, I'll continue reading the book...

Have to stop music addiction.. But I likely never will.

My sister and I were doing dishes and we were talking about the next holiday and I was saying something and she didn’t believe me so she was googling and I’m like ‘let’s just do dishes’ and she insisted on googling to prove me wrong and then when she couldn’t find anything she accused me of having ‘a mad sound’ in my voice like I was mad. And I told her I wasn’t mad but she kept going on about it and I started to get annoyed of her accusing me of being mad and Jesus Christ I swear once a month she gets like this where she reads too much in my tone and accuses me of something and then suddenly I’M the bad guy so I walked away and went to bed and I could hear her and my mom arguing and my sister saying ‘she’ this and ‘she’ that like Jesus Christ I walked away just stop talking **** about me.

I’m just annoyed now because she’s always like that. I can’t ****ing stand it. Everyone is all the bad guy in her eyes. She’s NEVER at fault for anything. I told her not to read into my tone and tone policing me. Stop accusing me of being mad she doesn’t know how I feel. Instead of accusing me of being mad or have a ‘mad tone’ ****ing ask me.

I love her but ******* I hate this side of her.

And then my mom is like ‘that’s it no more alcohol in this house’ and Jesus Christ 90% of the time when my sister is like this she’s sober. She knows this.

I know they’re worried about my drinking but I’m controlling it I’m fine. I’m finding things to do I’m not drinking as much as I was.

Just stop all of it I’m ****ing struggling enough as it is.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I went back on aripiprazole and olanzapine. Just couldn't stand that the Latuda wasn't helping my depression. We will see what my psychiatrist says about this but I am strongly in favor of just going back to aripiprazole and olanzapine and leaving Latuda behind.

Never mind... Ha.

Reading a book called Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a long and happy life

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m glad I changed plans with my friend. It’s -7 degrees right now. I just took the trash out and the cold was so intense even just being outside for 2 minutes, so glad I have heat in my apartment.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Not minimizing what you said, but is there a such thing as music addiction? Maybe you just enjoy it.

I feel cursed and always misunderstood

It's cuz of the bad trip, and what happened. Even my own therapist ghosted me. There's no fixing this.

I don't even see the point of why I bother to continue living. But here I am, still breathing. And I hate myself.

It was a joke.

Read the instruction manual to my air fryer. Using it for the first time next week. Just to test it out, air frying frozen chicken nuggets.

The week after that I plan on making 2 recipes with it

Jalapeño poppers wrapped in slices of bacon

Beef and broccoli

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Went to the dentist today for a cleaning. Have some sensitive teeth, and need to floss more but otherwise I’m good. No fillings or root canals or anything. Thank god.

I haven’t been brushing very well lately or flossing so I was worried.

Trying to get back on track with brushing and flossing. Gotta take care of these teeth.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Stupid question but how do I go about getting 1 lb of thinly cut sirloin steak. I need it for the beef and broccoli recipe. Do I ask the butcher for it? Cause it’s not something that’s available prepackaged in the meat section. I’ve never asked the butcher for anything /specific cuts of meat before so I’m not sure how that works, I guess I just go up to the counter and ask for it?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That’s great! Glad you had a good visit /no cavities etc

I have to go to the dentist this coming week (Feb 9th) to get a cleaning/exam etc. I am trying real hard to be better with flossing and brushing too. I already have two teeth that were pulled and I don’t want to lose anymore. It’s hard sometimes to stay motivated.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Sounds awesome!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

You buy a sirloin and cut it up.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Really frustrated right now.

My doctor had put me on Trilafon, and that seemed to be doing well for me. I wasn't having much paranoia, I was hearing voices less often, and it was easier to distract from the voices when I did hear them. This morning I went for a walk, and someone drove past me, and they turned their head to look at me, and that flipped some sort of paranoia switch in my brain, somehow. I just spent two hours looking around my apartment for cameras, and im sitting here at my computer now just thinking about how frustrating it is. Seems like no meds work that well for me, but I always get my hopes up for new ones. Just sucks that I'm probably gonna struggle like this forever. I don't mean to wallow in self-pity or something, i'm just frustrated and paranoid this morning/afternoon.

Hope you all are doing well enough.

Put the pork on in the slow cooker to make shredded pork for tamales for tomorrow. Got garlic and onion and cumin and chipotle peppers.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So for me it took some time to find a good med and then years of taking it consistently for that kind of stuff to fully disappear. In the beginning even minor stress can trigger stuff.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk