Roll Call 198

It’s been 4 days of not taking my Zoloft and I’m starting to feel kind of depressed today. And having sui thoughts. I don’t know if it’s related or not.

I called today and asked for a refill. My doctor has to approve it first. It takes 24-48 hours for them to call it in to the pharmacy.

I feel like I have no one. No family. Nothing. I might as well not have family

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HUGS Blue_Bird. It might not help, but you have us. HUGS kit

Hey we’re always here for you. I know we’re far away but we care.

Do you have some self care things to help your through the day? Petting your cats? Fluffy things always help me.

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Thank you, I appreciate that

I am not sure, right now, I’m laying in bed crying , I was trying to read a book about the upward spiral it’s about overcoming depression and I was fine reading it but today everything in it is just making me feel worse/reading facts about depression is just making me cry more. I feel like no one in my actual life would even notice if I disappeared.

I can pet my cats, not sure what else to do. I guess I could paint or play a game

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Painting I think would be good to do! How about one of those figures? I think that would be fun to paint. Think of when you can play that game next (I’m not up to speed on all the board games people play).

Think of the good things in life. Pets and games and activities. I believe in you.

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I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow! I’m so excited. Going from tailbone to below the ear bob.

I mean honestly since I decided I want my hair cut I’m about ready to just cut off my braid.

Also, get a load of this cannelloni my mom made:



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Thank you! Yes I’m about to set up my paint to work on painting that figure I started yesterday now, I should have time tomorrow after the volunteering to play one of my games

Maybelle is hanging out in my painting area. Mustachio is in her hammock lol

Painting really helps relax me and it is fun to do especially while listening to music

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I hope you enjoy your new haircut

I had a similar thing where my hair was so long, I wanted to get it cut but didn’t have the patience to go to a salon so I cut it to right above my shoulders, I don’t recommend that but thats what I did. Doesn’t look wonderful but at least it feels better. Yours should come out much better since you’re getting it done professionally. Next time I get a haircut it will be done professionally lol

That food looks amazing holy crap

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I usually get my mom to cut my hair. Usually just a trim. I haven’t been to a salon since 2015.

I mean it’s not a hugely complicated haircut but I want it to look right and my mom suggested I get it done professionally so it’ll look nicer.

I’ve had bad times where I cut my hair myself and my mom would fix it lol.

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Here’s some progress pics of the figure. I’m gonna finish it later in the week. Just painted for 30 min today. I just realized I’ve painted every day for the past 3 or 4 days straight. That’s good

After I’m done with this one I have two more hero’s to paint.


Then after that I have all these figures to paint Which are enemies in the game.

I’m gonna try to learn/work on some new painting techniques over the next several months and try to get better at them

Lol yeah I can’t wait for my hair to grow out more so I can get this fixed

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I hope you feel better soon

That’s good that you got a shower. It’s hard to do that sometimes. I just took one so now I’m ready for tomorrow. Have the rest of the night to do whatever I want. I got all household chores done earlier in the day.

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I've cut my hair before too and had my Mom cut it but every third or fourth time I have to go to the salon so they can fix it.

I feel like I have to constantly distract myself otherwise I slip back into being depressed the second I have 5 seconds to think.

I also am worried about tomorrow. I’m worried they’ll think I’m not doing a good job and not want me there

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You’ll do great! I’m sure they appreciate all the help they can get.

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Thanks, yeah you're right. And I'm sure the kitties there will appreciate having someone to play with them and clean up their litter, give them fresh food etc

So I have two 100mg tablets of zoloft left I saved in case I got desperate waiting on my med refills. Normally I take 200mg of it in the mornings. But I haven't had any at all in 4 days because I'm out except those two tablets. I should *hopefully* be able to pick up my meds tomorrow after my shift. So I'm wondering if I should just take the 200mg tonight and be back on track, but just keep it as a night med instead of a morning med. I know it takes time to build back up in my system but I'm desperate and need to get my serotonin levels back up to normal so I'm just starting it back up tonight

I took the 200mg tonight along with my other meds.

Hopefully tomorrow I can pick up a refill and get back on track

My mom precut my hair for me so the hairdresser won’t have so much to cut tomorrow. So my hair is like shoulder length right now and I’m already excited. It feels so light and healthy.

I can’t wait for tomorrow.

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I will stop the Invega Trinza

And do genius things?..

No.. nvm...

Can’t sleep. Think I’m too nervous and excited for tomorrow

I want caffeine but can’t, I have none other than matcha

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I did it, got home early because we started a little early and there were only 3 cats at the moment there to take care of.

There was a black male kitten named Luna, a tabby female kitten named Jassie, and a 2-3 year old big male named cowboy.

Poor Jassie was shaking and terrified. Cowboy was super friendly. We took them each out of their cages at separate times and spent time with each of them while we cleaned their cages, blankets, beds, litter, gave them fresh food and water. Luna and Jassie were both scared. Cowboy was super friendly, he looks like a cow with his black and white coloring pattern. I love him lol

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My Zoloft has finally been refilled so I'm going to the pharmacy tomorrow morning to pick it up

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I miss coffee so much. I know it sounds stupid. But it was one of the few things in life that brought me a lot of happiness

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