Roll Call 198

Talk, converse, vent, muse

Everyone welcome!

I’m in the office today. I was on a roll but now with system issues I’m just sitting around. Only a couple more hours of the day.

I usually work about 8am-4pm but most of the time I work through lunch and leave at 3pm. Today I started at 715am and I’ll leave at 315pm. I’m working through lunch but eh, I use extra time to fill in spaces like going to doctor’s appointments and stuff. I’m not worried. It all balances out I think. My boss doesn’t mind.

However my brain is messed up and I didn’t pack a lunch. Just going to eat a burger later. Got lots of diet sodas with me though so that’s fine.

Anyway just bored.

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Thanks SK!

I talked to my pharmacist today and it looks like I will be able to get my new anxiety medicine today which means I can try it tonight. I am hopeful it will work well for me. I love my PDOC!

What works for irritability for you guys?

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Yeah, that's a tough one.

Sometimes exercise.
Sometimes distraction--like playing with my pets
Sometimes doing something minorly destructive--like tearing up paper
Sometimes acknowledging that I'm irritable and just being nice to myself while I get through it
Sometimes talking to someone else
Sometimes getting out of the same four walls--change of activity or pace
Sometimes just giving up and sleeping for a while.

HUGS!!! Kit

Thanks those are great suggestions 😊

A cup of strong coffee will hopefully wake me up. I want to be motivated like I was yesterday. Last night was pretty bad - But I closed my eyes for an hour during the dissociation, another dose, lay down in the dark - And talked to a crazy friend. Nice sleep.

I'll ask the pharmacist if there exists such thing as "Spravato" here.

"January 5, 2021 - Health Canada has approved a new nasal spray called Spravato, with the active ingredient esketamine. It’s good timing: The number of people experiencing symptoms of depression has tripled during the pandemic"

My irritability is worse when I don't exercise or am stuck in my apartment all day. Even if its just taking a walk for exercise, that helps. Treadmill, weights etc, I feel a significant decrease in my irritability levels since starting to work out most days. I exercised the previous three days in a row and I'm not irritable at all , which I was for like a week straight when I wasn't getting a lot of physical activity. Whether it's walking, yoga, weights, etc whatever other various forms of exercise they all help me a lot. Before I started doing this my irritability was so bad. I was getting pissed off at everything , noises, etc anything bothered me and I felt so revved up I felt like punching myself.

Not saying exercise is something you have to do if you don't want to, just putting out my experience because one of my issues is irritability and I have noticed such a difference in my temperament since becoming physically active.

And when I'm stuck in my apartment all day I get restless and irritable. I force myself to at least go sit out in the courtyard for 20 min if I can't manage anything else, it always ends up making me feel more relaxed throughout the rest of the day.

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My appointment is in an hour. Trying to get my thoughts organized and think of what I want/need to talk about.

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Best of luck, Blue_Bird!

Maybe jot down a few notes that you want to bring up. That is sometimes helpful to me.

My appointment went well, I'm doing well so we mostly talked about my plans for going back to college and she gave me an idea for a place to volunteer at, there's a program through petsmart on Saturdays where people come to take care of the cats there (food, litterbox, etc) , so I am going to look into that since the library isn't taking volunteers. There's also a used bookstore downtown that I am going to look into volunteering at

Those both sound like good ideas Blue_Bird!

Too euphoric to do anything but listen to music.

After I'll look at productivity planner apps.

We also did a depression scale thing , there was like 9 questions, and my score is super super low right now so that’s good. (Low score is a good thing) I’m doing well on my meds and with coping skills.

years ago I was inpatient so many times over so many years, from ages 14 to age 23. I haven’t been inpatient since 2017 and I’m finally managing my emotions and mental health better now. I was pretty unstable even when I wasn’t inpatient. I suffered by myself. But the past 6 months or so I’ve been improving and improving. And soon enough I’ll have volunteer work. Even if I have to go back to the kitchen to prep and serve meals at the shelter I’ll do it because I want to do something and challenge myself. I’ll look into the pet store thing and the used bookstore first though because those would be less stressful. And in the end of August I’ll be back in college finishing my associates degree. It’s taken a long *** time to get to this place mentally but I’m finally doing well.

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I'm not using those "Thanks" and "Hugs" functions anymore cuz I don't understand them.

This Is How To Deal With Passive Aggressive People - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Just know that I care and appreciate all of you =]

I care and appreciate you too Desoxyn!

I care about you too Desoxyn

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I love listening to music when feeling euphoric. It's amazing

I don't know if you have the Microsoft To-do app on your phone or tablet or whatever but I find that one sufficient. I plan a lot with it and it's free to use , I use it everyday to track what I need to do during the day and meal planning

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