Roll Call 201

I just had the thought "what if I tried to be normal?" I've been completely different my entire life and never could imagine being normal but it's been too much pain. I'd be pretending to be a normal person. It would be like someone pretending to be a catholic and believe in God just so they could fit in. Seems that would eat away at the person over time and life worse.

I quit my job today. It was taking too much of a toll on my mental health and didn’t feel worth it in the end

That’s fair to do…you can do better in the future once you have a college degree it will be easier.

You have me although I can't help with money or moving unfortunately. I hope you'll feel better very soon.

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I'm one of the most normal people in the world.

There's nothing wrong with me I don't think.

I need therapy for ADHD

I can't imagine what it's like to be normal and be with your own kind. It must be wonderful.

Despite all of that today's a good day for me.

Hope can be good for me even though I keep telling myself to never let myself ever get my hopes up again. Lately I've had so much hope to make enough money to buy a house in the forest and be financially free to do what I love the most, science and experiments. The list of experiments are piling up.

Thanks Angelique and SP, I’m going back to college in January or August. Not sure which yet. Depends how I want to go back when I feel I can commit to it. Right now I’m just worn out and dealing with anxiety and paranoia. I want to work on getting my mental health back in check first. At the very latest it will be August. That’s my deadline for myself to go back. I might take the winter to just work on mental health and volunteer then go back in August when the weather is better

I’ll probably most likely go back in January though. I’m probably gonna re-enroll December 1st. Classes start January 16th. I’m taking online classes

Still having sui thoughts. Just depressed

Feel this physical weight of depression pressing down on me

I’m gonna be volunteering with the cats again! I submitted a new application there and the lady in charge who I know, texted me like an hour after I submitted my application online, to let me know I can start tomorrow. Every Tuesday morning like I used to.

Heading out to my volunteer shift! Happy Halloween

I'm averaging 15 hours of work per day in my new business. I sure hope it makes money soon. It's hard on the body. Since yesterday-ish it seems I have a cold. Hopefully that's all.

Just got home a few minutes ago. It went well , so many cute cats. They’re all so sweet and adorable. I want them all. Anyway, yeah it’s a lot more rewarding and I don’t feel stressed or dread/panic/anxiety/sui like I did in that retail job. Cleaned all their cages and redid all their litterboxes. Played with all of them. Swept and cleaned the area back there. I didn’t expect to get back there so quick because I just put in the new application late yesterday afternoon but I do know the lady who runs it and I did volunteer there for 6 months previously so that’s probably why they got back to me so fast and I knew they were looking for volunteers. Anyway, I’m glad to be back with them.

So I took my job back. They said that’s excellent and they didn’t even process my resignation so I can start back next week , I told them I just needed this week off for medical reasons and can come back next week and restart. So I’m going back. I’m gonna do my best to make it work this time and not give up

I honestly got very depressed after I quit on Monday and that made me realize even though it’s stressful sometimes I prefer having a job than not. I’ll still be able to volunteer on Tuesdays because I have Tuesdays off. But yeah it all works out

Glad it’s all good! But if you start feeling bad about your job again - it’s not a bad thing to quit.

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Thanks! I think part of the problem was I was letting it invade every waking moment of my life even on my days off. I just have to start separating my personal life from work stress. As soon as I leave work I just have to leave it there. And I need to do more self care when I’m home and on my days off. So I don’t get overwhelmed and impulsive again cause quitting like I did the other day was impulsive and I regretted it a lot. So I’m happy to be going back. I didn’t realize how much I felt proud of my job, until I quit then I realized I hated not having one. I’m super glad to be going back

I felt a huge sense of loss when I quit. More than just feeling like a failure. I felt like I lost something very important and a sense of purpose and was crying a lot which made me realize I made a huge mistake. I guess it’s one of those things you don’t appreciate what you have till it’s gone. I expected to feel a huge relief and weight lifted off me from quitting but that’s the polar opposite of what I felt

Today's starting out a nightmare. I ordered 2 dvd's for my mom and dad but found they're shipping to me not them in Missouri. Ebay can't cancel or do anything. Seller said no. Waste of money time and I'm so stressed and angry with myself.

Sorry, that's frustrating

I feel extremely happy right now. It's Halloween, I got my volunteer position back, I got my job back, and I have fresh coffee! Can't get much better than that