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Default Feb 09, 2024 at 01:12 PM
  #521
Oh and Iíve been putting my phone away at least an hour before bed and reading a physical paperback book till Iím tired enough to sleep. Trying to cut back o my screen time. My daily average lately is 9 1/2 hours. Thatís insane. I want it below 4 hours.

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Default Feb 09, 2024 at 01:14 PM
  #522
I have a violin lesson tomorrow. So I need to practice later. My bf has a three day weekend off work so weíll probably play some yugioh and watch Naruto later and throughout the weekend. Probably watch a movie too. Last weekend we watched Spirited Away. We alternate who picks the movie each weekend.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:05 PM
  #523
I still wish people that didn't like my post have a good day

Yeah, I'm going full BPD. Now my attention won't be of any of this after this post.

But then again, no one has to like a post if they don't want to, so it's all good ^-;
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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:13 PM
  #524
Are you okay Desoxyn? Iím sorry for not liking your post, I havenít been on here as much and when I do come on I just post a quick update then leave since hardly anyone posts anymore, and Iíve been busy with my new cat and other things. When I donít like a post it doesnít mean anything personal or that I donít like it it just means Ive been busy or distracted.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:17 PM
  #525
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I still wish people that didn't like my post have a good day

Yeah, I'm going full BPD. Now my attention won't be of any of this after this post.

But then again, no one has to like a post if they don't want to, so it's all good ^-;
I get the same way when people donít like my post

I have BPD and get my feelings hurt really easily over nothing or imagined things, but itís gotten better over time and Iíve learned to ignore it and to not care as much

I think my hobbies help too. Like playing violin, videogames, reading , volunteering,they provide a good distraction and also my bf helps a lot too.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 10:24 PM
  #526
Had a great violin lesson today. Learning a lot. Feel like Iím starting to improve some. Still have a very very long way to go but itís a lot of fun. Iíve been practicing for an hour to an hour and a half a day.

My kitties are doing well

My bf loved his valentines gifts. I got him candy and Bach classical pieces guitar book. His valentines gifts for me are arriving this coming week. He said thereís a bunch of stuff coming so I donít know what to expect lol

We watched Naruto tonight and played the yugioh TCG. We started playing chess yesterday. Iím still learning. Itís hard. But I do want to learn how to play good cause it is fun and I enjoy strategy games. We play on an app while we are on face time with each other.

I painted some earlier today and drew. Sat outside for half an hour and read.

Meditated this morning for 15 min. Played some videogames. Now Iím just relaxing and waiting till Iím tired enough to go to sleep.

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Default Feb 10, 2024 at 11:42 PM
  #527
It's ok lol ^-

I'm not okay. I have heart palps when lying down (Because of self medicating), so I did more self medicating - But I snapped back to my senses. Not looking forward to going to sleep tonight, but took 1.5 benzos (First time I did that in a long time).

I have my bag packed - I go to work in the morning, and then I go on my moms work trip (Deeper into the rockies) for 3 days, it'll be fun.

Then my dad will visit. Just hopefully my heart OCD doesn't ruin everything. But I'm using a Zen like tactic to take my mind off of it..

I talked with my psychiatrist. I'm having more symptoms of schizophreina, but I told my psychiatrist to not worry about it for now. Yesterday was a lot of anxiety (Work, and had a blood test too), had slight DPDR and almost had a panic attack.

My hobby is mainly being on the "Intellectual Dark Web" for now - I'd like to change that.. But time will pass, every day gets better. Just got to focus on my own little life, and not worry about things that I can't control.
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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 08:47 AM
  #528
I hope you have fun on your trip Desoxyn. That sounds amazing. Iíve never been to the Rockies. I live near the Adirondack mountains. Itís really nice up in them but I havenít been since I was a kid. I like hiking but now Iím afraid of running into a bear so I havenít gone hiking in several years.

Hope you feel better regarding the symptoms.

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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 11:08 AM
  #529
I got this app called plant nanny. You have to drink water in order to keep the water pants healthy and grow so it motivates you to drink water and track your intake
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File Type: jpg IMG_2713.jpg (82.2 KB, 5 views)

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Default Feb 11, 2024 at 05:07 PM
  #530
My mom has COVID so the work trip was cancelled. I tested negative, and have a lot of energy. No heart palps last night!

The suffering is over... My dad will still visit (Although he wouldn't want to catch COVID, so that'll be in a while I guess).

I gave her Tylenol 1's.. She's shivering =[
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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 02:00 PM
  #531
I talked a few weeks ago about how I was having trouble renewing my food stamps for this year. Last Friday I went to my county's food stamps office and talked with my caseworker, and today I got an email saying I was approved! Very happy about that, I was very stressed out about it.

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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 08:55 PM
  #532
My mom feels better. I have a runny nose, that's about it. All is good.

Although I had the most surreal dreams I've ever had in my life last night.
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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 10:20 PM
  #533
One of my bfs valentines gifts for me came today. It was a Saukura Japanese snack box. So many awesome snacks in it! The rest of the stuff he got me is arriving throughout the week, whatever it is itís a surprise.

Mocha is still extremely shy and timid, but she does come out to eat and drink and use the litterbox, sheís a sweet girl. I love her. Her and Mustachio have been doing fine, no hissing or growling. Just sniff each other sometimes but thatís all.
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File Type: jpg IMG_2737.jpg (168.5 KB, 5 views)

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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 10:25 PM
  #534
I have my shift volunteering with the rescue cats tomorrow morning. Thursday I have an hour long intro appointment with my new psychiatrist. Other than that not much going on.

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Default Feb 12, 2024 at 10:31 PM
  #535
I got a bunch of new games. I now have every single kingdom hearts game except the offspin one which is a rhythm game which Iím getting next week. And I have the all the Halo games now, there was a bundle of the halo games for sale on the Xbox store. Masterchief collection for $9 total which is a humongous deal. So I grabbed it. Iíve been playing a lot of Disney Dreamlight Valley on my Nintendo switch. Been practicing violin and ukulele everyday. And been trying to do artwork 2-3 times a week. Been reading a lot too.

Iím doing good though. My mood is good. Iím just trying to lose some weight Iíve gained so Iím trying to push myself to take a long walk everyday. Pokťmon go helps motivate me to do that.

My bf and I watch Naruto everyday before or after he gets to or back from work. On his days off we play yugioh, magic the gathering chess, or videogames , watch movies etc

Iím a lot less stressed out than when I was working. Iím going back to college in the fall.

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Default Feb 13, 2024 at 07:43 PM
  #536
My life is a good life =]
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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 03:23 AM
  #537
The dream of all dreams...
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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 07:24 AM
  #538
I was up for 48 hours then I slept for awhile now Iíve been up for 24 hours

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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 07:28 AM
  #539
I have an appointment with my new psychiatrist today. Heís an older guy from Poland according to my therapist who works in the same office. I hope the appointment is quick. Itís scheduled for an hour because itís our first time meeting but I donít feel like going through my entire life history , they have the notes they can read. Plus Iím exhausted and donít even remotely feel like walking the 25 minute walk there and the 25 minute walk back on zero sleep but I canít cancel at this point it would be too short notice. I feel like Iím about to collapse from exhaustion

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Default Feb 15, 2024 at 10:26 AM
  #540
Had a good appointment with my new psychiatrist. He was very thorough. So he confirmed that my diagnosis is definitely schizoaffective bipolar type like I was already diagnosed as. And he increased my Thorazine to help with the bipolar symptoms and lack of sleep and he ordered bloodwork and once we get my sleep straightened out weíre gonna look at some new medications to replace the Thorazine because that is a really old medication and there are better ones out there he said.

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